I have been wondering about this for a few years. Every time I read the descriptions of the characteristics of adults with ADHD, I think they are describing me. I really struggle to concentrate, I'm very easily distracted and organisation is a major challenge for me. I fidget a lot and I have to try really hard not to interrupt people. I find it incredibly hard to get started on tasks, even when they're really important, and I often struggle to see them through. I've done a few online tests over the years, and they all say I'm likely to have moderate to severe ADHD. If I do, it would explain a lot.
The thing is, though, I have been pretty successful despite my difficulties. I did really well in academia, despite struggling tremendously. I have had a very successful career. Deep down, though, I have always known that I could achieve so much more if only I didn't have these difficulties. I have developed coping strategies...and covering strategies. I honestly doubt that anyone else would ever believe I had a problem, except perhaps my husband and my daughter, who have seen how I struggle. And maybe my mum, but I think she is like me too, so perhaps she thinks it's just normal.
I really do struggle. I have spent so much of my life wondering what's wrong with me, trying to work out why I can't just get my act together. It isn't for want of trying, I just can't do it!
I have wondered at times if it's worth pursuing a diagnosis, but I'm not sure what good it would do. It would give me a reason why, but it wouldn't change the daily struggle. I don't want to take medication, even if it's offered. And I have already developed all of the self help strategies that I can think of, so what would be the point?
Do you think IABU to keep wondering about this? Will it make any difference if I know or don't know? Do you think I'm just trying to find reasons/excuses for my bad habits?