I don't know what to do

[Idliketoteachtheworldtosing1]

My 11 year old is autistic and is a lovely boy, he's kind and caring but has an awful temper.
He's very much into his computer and plays online with other kids.
Some of them wind him up terribly and he ends up so distressed, so much so he's put holes in several of our walls. I don't know how to stop this.
We limited the time on the computer which resulted in total meltdown.
I know being on the computer so much isn't healthy but he d like going out with the local kids, they don't understand him and I completely understand that.
He's very lonely, luckily his sister is home from uni for the holidays and she takes him out a lot.
He doesn't sleep well and stays awake until the small hours, it's exhausting as I'm not in good health myself.
I know nothing about autism, he's only been diagnosed a few months and has weekly psychotherapy.
I feel like I'm failing him as I don't know what to do to help him.

My sons 13 and was diagnosed two years ago. Most of his worst outbursts are anxiety related. He fully school refused and rarely left the house. We have a psychiatrist through ewmhs after several failed interventions and he's now medicated. Many kids on the spectrum spend lots of time gaming or watching YouTube, it's a real issue but they find comfort in it. Has he got any sensory issues? Could a weighted blanket help calm or time in a swing or hammock? To reduce time on any device a traffic light warning system for when it's time over so they can visually see when times almost up can be very helpful. There's so many things that can cause a asd child to react that way the key is trying to discover what is a stressor for them, then try to find a way to reduce it for them.

The games or the other children wind him up?

Whichever one it is, remove it!!
If the games are frustrating him to that point, he cannot play then.
If the other children are winding him up, stop him from playing with them.

OP, I'm an ex special needs Teacher. These websites are really good at explaining autism and outlining the support you can get and giving you ideas & strategies for his needs and behaviours.
Childautism.Org.Uk
Autism.org.uk
Ambitiousabouautism.co.uk

Has he got an EHC yet?(Education & Health Care Plan). Have you got anyone who can give you the odd short break for say 2hours to regroup and rest?

Could school anxiety also be present? Is he transitioning to seniors this summer? Unstructured time is the worst and if some are being tricky online then perhaps mute them for a time or delete them as friends to make it easier. My son went through an awful phase at this age and his anger was so nasty but almost always brought on by stress and lack of sleep.

Parent to Parent (P2P). Confidential support for parents of autistic children. Tel: 0808 800 4106.