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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu to choose roses to plant over...

6 replies

MyDirtyLittleSecret · 15/08/2018 21:58

...a shallow grave? Co-worker thinks hydrangeas would do better in the spot I have chosen for DH’s corpse.

That's not really the AIBU question though.

Background: DH and I both work at the same place, full-time Mon-Fri. he starts a little earlier than me. I got to work this morning and one of DH’s team walks by and mock shakes his head and wags his finger at me. My coworker sees this asks me what that's about. Beats me. So I shout after DH’s team member. He "jokingly" tells me it's because I am very mean for making DH rearrange furniture at the weekend when he was trying to relax.
Hmm, yes, but that’s not quite how it went down.

Here’s the tale. We’ve had a few busy weekends in a row with social events so last Sunday, I was looking forward to doing nothing, going nowhere, seeing no one. Yoga pants and t-shirt, lounge around all day reading, browsing and watching tv. I decided on one outing early on to get the basic groceries for the week and pick up cooked chicken and prepared sides for later so no cooking to do.

I left at 8.30am, DH was already in full slob mode sipping coffee and doing some complicated viewing planning on the dvr. I arrived back at 9.50am to find ALL my living room furniture crowded haphazardly into the middle of the room, piles of books and various pieces of junk objets d’art taken off bookshelves all over the floor or heaped on the sofas.

DH told me (in response to my mildly perplexed query of “WTF are you doing??!!”) that he had decided to rearrange things a little to relocate his armchair and ottoman in a more optimum spot for tv viewing. It’s a 65” flatscreen that can be seen from fucking space any fucking place you choose to stand or sit anywhere in the room and the kitchen and the backyard and the fucking neighbor’s backyard!

I think he gathered from my tone (or it might have been my die-in-a-fire-you-bastard expression) that I wasn’t thrilled, so he bustled about while I was putting away the shopping to get his chair and ottoman in situ. He then, very obligingly, pushed and shoved all the other pieces of furniture against walls before parking his ass in his chair and turning the race on. I asked if he was seriously leaving all the books and other crap lying around for me to put back? And was he envisioning permanently having the furniture in those places he’d randomly shoved them into? "Well, I’ll move them where you want but... but the race."

I looked at the tv and pointed out that they hadn’t even got past the bit where they introduce the drivers - there was still the military veteran march past with flags; the flyover by the local airforce base; the local celebrity (got into the last 96 of American Idol 2 years ago) singing the National Anthem; and the deserving person with the sad but uplifting back story to announce: “Drivers - start your engines” still to go before any wheels hit the racetrack. So, at least 30 minutes by my reckoning. He had that amount of time to move the furniture into positions I approved of and replace all the books and stuff on the shelves and if it wasn’t done by the time the race started too fucking bad! It’s amazing how fast that shit can be done when there’s an incentive, right?

So MN you decide - WIBU to make him move the furniture and put stuff back on shelves just as the race was starting or was it his own stupid fault?

OP posts:
JamPasty · 15/08/2018 22:03

I think roses like good fertiliser, so they'd probably love being planted over a shallow grave... ;)

concretesieve · 15/08/2018 22:04

Roses. Definitely Grin

Wishiwasa · 15/08/2018 22:14

Roses are a dead giveaway in regards to a corpse. Go with something like a weeping willow if you have enough space or my personal favourite, sweet peas. The scent hides the smell of decomposition (although you have to massively plan your tine of crime and not get those annoying everlasting kind with no scent). Written with experience from hmp shit-gardener).

Oldraver · 15/08/2018 22:14

I hate roses, but yes roses would suffice in this instance

SendintheArdwolves · 15/08/2018 22:22

Don't forget a nice magnolia bush for the grave of the Co worker who WAGGED HIS FINGER AT YOU. Theres not a judge in the land who would condemn you under that level of provocation.

MyDirtyLittleSecret · 15/08/2018 23:44

SendintheArdwolves I'm thinking of leaving Waggytwat to his wife, she's earned it having to live with the dick.
On interrogating questioning DH about what he's been telling people, prior to selecting my weapon from the knife block, it transpires he was chatting to someone else about the weekend and the race and Waggy was standing by listening in. DH has been granted a stay of execution - for now.

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