to ask for your help with my baby shower?

[HackneyHoney]

Ok... I know the baby shower idea doesn't go down well on here, however I am having an afternoon tea instead of a party with games, simply to get all of my friends together before baby arrives. I am clearly stating no gifts and am paying for the afternoon tea and food simply to say thank you to my close friends and family for their support through this awful pregnancy (I'm coming out of the end of the tunnel now however have had numerous complications and couldn't have got through it so solidly without these people). Nothing huge and not dozens of people. I've had a lot of miscarriages (3, which is consider a lot) and thought at one point this pregnancy was going to end this way. The fact that our baby is seemingly healthy is just incredible to me at this point.

I am quite clearly stating that I do not want gifts as the greatest gift of support has already been given. I am also not going to call it a baby shower as I think it's a weird term and implies you want to be showered with gifts. This makes me a little uncomfortable...

I need help with ideas? I was thinking afternoon tea in a cafe somewhere. Lots of sandwiches/cakes.

Is this an awful idea? AIBU to even consider this?

It sounds lovely!

People will probably want to buy something. Perhaps ask for their favourite book when a child, or donations to a children's charity?

Perhaps just call it an afternoon tea instead of baby shower.

It sounds a lovely idea

Afternoon tea sounds lovely. Games not so much. I know it's a personal opinion but I'm not keen on party games anyway and if they are either baby-themed or in a public place (hotel, tea room etc) doubly so. What's wrong with conversation?

Oh @FuzzyCustard I said no names not sure if you've misinterpreted?

Glad folks think it's a nice idea though I was worried it was cringey or just not the done thing!

Yes very lovely. for you, and congratulations.

*games not names! (Duh!)

Could you do it in your home and buy in afternoon tea? Then it’s just a case of saying ‘pop round to mine for a cuppa and cake’ and no worries about people thinking it’s a baby shower. A lovely bakery near us does take away afternoon tea.

I think that sounds lovely but be prepared that people will want to buy you things so you need to be ready to gratefully accept, I asked for books instead of gifts and have a lovely library to start baby off with including many I wouldn’t have thought of myself :)

Ooops. so you did. Sorry, I did misread. In that case, it sounds absolutely fine! Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and the child rearing!

@Isthisaproblem if you saw the size of my house and how in the sticks it was you'd laugh at the thought of me having it here! 🙈 Didn't want to do a big dinner as it would be expensive and don't want people to be out of pocket.

I had an afternoon tea for my 'baby shower'. In reality we ate quiche and cake and had a natter. Everyone did fill in a baby predictions sheet (which nobody got close too) and I got a few gifts but it didn't feel showery and I really enjoyed it.

@Changenameday such a lovely idea. We honestly, genuinely do not want gifts. I feel embarrassed even getting gifts for my birthday from family members!

@FuzzyCustard thank you so much! Super nervous and still doesn't feel real but so excited ah the same time

@WooYa sounds lovely. Did you have it in a cafe? Or at your house?

You sound like you’re pandering to the MN gods for fearing of being told YABU.

They are your friends. You know them better than anyone on here. Just say afternoon tea as a thank you for your support?

You also don’t have to describe to us that an afternoon tea has sandwiches and cakes.

Gosh sorry @Kartrashian

Sounds lovely but think you'll have to make peace with the probability that people will bring gifts.

whois I guess I just don't want people to feel obliged but completely understand that if people bring gifts I will have to accept them graciously, and of course I would

Can anyone advise on what they would expect to be catered at an afternoon tea? How many drinks? How much food? I have never arranged anything like this before and just don't want it to be a total flop...

For real?

Just pick a place you like that does afternoon tea, then call them and book for x amount of people. Surprisingly the place you pick will deal with portion sizes.

@Kartrashian yes seriously your rudeness/sarcasm is unnecessary and unpleasant.

It sounds lovely. Pick a place that does afternoon tea that maybe has a private room you could use. I love Baby Shower games and you can get packs of them relatively cheap on amazon. Baby showers are a lovely way to catch up with your closest ones before the baby comes along.

How many people are you catering for OP? You only need to worry about catering if you’re doing it in a hall, otherwise the cafe or whatever will deal with amounts. No one expects alcohol so drinks shouldn’t cost much.

Lots of places do a set afternoon tea or, perhaps just a cream tea.

I think it's a lovely idea.

If you really don't want gifts then you could tell people that you're superstitious about presents before your baby is here. I agree the best bet is probably a tea room/cafe/hotel that does afternoon tea, then it will just be per head.

It's a lovely idea, hope you enjoy it.