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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask for new wedding ring for my birthday/wedding anniversary?

27 replies

ApolloandDaphne · 15/08/2018 19:40

I have been married for almost 33 years. Our anniversary is this month and my birthday is the day after. I don't need much but my simple gold band is now looking tired and thin. My DH got a new platinum wedding ring some years ago as his wedding band got bent out of shape. Would it be weird to ask for a new wedding band? I would like a simple but classy stand alone band maybe studded with diamonds. What do you think? Reasonable? Cost not really a massive issue.

OP posts:
Laska5772 · 15/08/2018 19:48

Sounds great ,,But to 'retain' your old one, how about getting one especially made from a craft jeweler or goldsmith and get the gold of old ring incorporated into a new ?

Original poster
ApolloandDaphne · 15/08/2018 19:48

Honestly i want to know if this is okay?

OP posts:
Laska5772 · 15/08/2018 19:49

sounds ok to me .. why do you think it wouldnt be?

NerrSnerr · 15/08/2018 19:49

If you can afford it of course it's ok. Why wouldn't it be?

Original poster
ApolloandDaphne · 15/08/2018 19:49

Thanks Laska My old one is engraved with our initials and the date of our wedding. I am not sure i want to have it melted down. DH still has his original ring.

OP posts:
Original poster
ApolloandDaphne · 15/08/2018 19:50

I wasn't sure if people got new wedding rings if their original one still was intact.

OP posts:
Cuddlykitten123 · 15/08/2018 19:52

Why not phrase your request as an eternity ring and then just wear the new one, retaining your original somewhere safe?

Margaurette · 15/08/2018 19:53

I'd do it, but keep the other one as you say.

A friend got a new wedding ring (after the original was lost, so not quite the same), and has it blessed by their priest. That might not be your thing, but could you and DH do something to make it special, and not just another piece of jewellery?

cortex10 · 15/08/2018 19:54

I did - bought a new more modern (and expensive) yellow/rose gold band with inset diamond after 20 years - still wear the original one on my right hand.

namechange2pointoh · 15/08/2018 19:55

What 'people' do is irrelevant. If you are happy to have a new ring, get one!

I have had 3 wedding rings due to fat fingers Blush

Original poster
ApolloandDaphne · 15/08/2018 19:55

Cuddlykitten I have an eternity ring! It is lovely but it looks not so great against my really thin, cheap H Samual wedding band.

OP posts:
LagunaBubbles · 15/08/2018 19:55

I've been married 20 years and I'm onto my 5th wedding ring for various reasons, including getting cut off my finger in hospital. This one is for keeps now!

Tiredtomybones · 15/08/2018 19:56

No reason at all not to have a new one. I Never take my wedding ring off and I've been married nearly 20 years so mine is looking a bit tired too. I would have a new one and keep my original one somewhere safe in a heartbeat, if that's what I wanted.

garethsouthgatesmrs · 15/08/2018 19:57

Why not phrase your request as an eternity ring and then just wear the new one, retaining your original somewhere safe?

this is a good idea. If your current wedding ring still holds sentimental value I would keep it as my wedding ring as the new one wouldn't have the same meaning anyway.

Original poster
ApolloandDaphne · 15/08/2018 19:57

Thanks folks. I will put it to DH who will say yes as he is very generous and lovely.

OP posts:
ItsJustASimpleLine · 15/08/2018 20:01

Say it's getting worn and you don't want any further damage as it means so much so you'd like to keep it safe in a box. But do not want to not wear a ring because of its importance so would like a replacement to wear. Your ring clearly means a lot to you.

BrynhildurWhitemane · 15/08/2018 20:04

If your DH can have a new band why wouldn't you? Can't see a problem with this.

WorldCupnovice · 15/08/2018 20:04

My hubby bought me a new 'engagement ' ring for my birthday last year, as the original one had lost a stone and was a 'preloved 'one from an antique shop. I have kept the original one for sentiment. BTW sorry for over use of quotation marks.

Original poster
ApolloandDaphne · 15/08/2018 20:07

I have a new engagement ring as my old one held no sentiment. The original was stolen a few months after we got married. My wedding ring has really been a symbol of endurance as it was very cheap but has held up well over the years. I just think now is the time for a new one.

OP posts:
N0tfinished · 15/08/2018 20:18

You could wear you old one on a chain a la Carrie Bradshaw - Close to your heart!

DeathlyPail · 15/08/2018 20:28

I haven't worn my wedding and engagement rings in years and neither has DH. Mine were what we could afford as 2 young people starting off in life just out of uni with a mortgage to pay.

For my 40th birthday I was given a very nice diamond eternity ring and I plan to upgrade this again for my 50th which is coming up soon.

My wedding set is kept for sentimental reasons, I wouldn't melt it down or wear it on a chain.

itbemay · 15/08/2018 20:29

I got a new wedding and engagement ring set for my 40th so happy I did as like you my old ones were tired!

WooYa · 15/08/2018 20:32

I think it's a great idea. DH got me a new ring for Christmas and I love it

Original poster
ApolloandDaphne · 15/08/2018 20:33

Glad to hear others have done this. We are going away for our anniversary/ my birthday and will be in a city where we can look for a lovely new wedding ring.

OP posts:
WomblingWoman · 15/08/2018 20:34

I think it's perfectly reasonable.

Just to add, if you go to a goldsmith you could design your own ring and ask for the gold in your current ring to be melted down and used in the new one - that way you still retain your "old" ring but get a new one!

I've done similar btw when I had my grandmothers diamond engagement ring made into a necklace - they used the gold from the ring to make the surround for the housing of the diamond pendant.