What would you do?

[puppy23]

My Step-DD has had a text from her real Mum - who was abusive towards her for 16 years, demanding her A-level results and PROOF of acceptance into a university, or she will stop paying her any money at all. She doesn't offer her a large about of money in any way, yet as a student obviously all money helps.

However, her demands seem odd, and understandably DD would like to avoid any communication with her, especially as we don't really understand why she's made such a demand?

What would you all advise?

Your stepdaughter could photocopy the necessary proof and send it to her mother with a brief covering note. It won't hurt and is worth doing if it means she gets a bit more money.

Is she paying support? My ex did the same for his daughter as his support ended after age 16 if she was not attending a certain number of hours each week and his 1st wife was required to provide proof and when she didn't, he contacted CMS and they sent a demand or would stop my ex from making any further support payments.

She wasn't attending school at all so his support ended and when she went back a year later, he refused to pay any support and CMS refused to be involved then.

(He was a horrible father so I'm not defending him)

I would do without her money to be honest.

If it’s maintenance type money there’s no legal obligation to pay from SD entering higher education anyway so the mum could stop paying anyway.

I’m very stubborn though and would cut my nose off to spite my face...so I would definitely not accept any money that had demands attached.

Im out of touch with child support law but isn't it still the case the absent parent is obliged to contribute financially untill the child completes higher education? That's posdibly why she's asking. Whether she's entitled to ask for proof though I don't know. Is maintenance being handled through CMS or privately?

What's the financial arrangement? If the requirement is that she provides maintenance whilst your stepdaughter is in full time education, it's probably reasonable to ask for evidence that she will continue to be. Your SD doesn't need to engage, she could just send the evidence without any covering message or letter.

Higher education on CMS is A level equivalent so it won't be for that.

How much money are we talking?, does mum claim anything for her, child benefit, housing benefit, tax credits? The cynic in me would be thinking it's relating to or would benefit her and not SDD

tootrue if it’s through CMS the obligation is only there until child is 16 or 20 if the course is full time education A-level or equivalent. Nothing provided for further education.

If it is CMS, she doesn't need to see 'proof' but you could confirm with the CMS themselves, should they ask.

Don't respond.

£30 a month received

I'd say support and empower your DSD to do what she wants which hopefully is to tell the abusive, stingy old crow to get stuffed.

Higher eduxarion in a court order would be through university as it is classed as further education up to 18.

For £30 a month she could fuck off. Unless your SD needs it desperately. Any chance you could afford to give her the £30 a month instead?