Aibu to think ds is being treated badly

[Metoodear]

I am not one usally for snowflake

However I do think ds 18 has not been treated well by either employer

Ds has managed to land himself a very good traineeship

And was required to get dbs and refrances
He gave all the details including his current job

However it’s taken the lady in the new job 4 weeks to email over the form she has been very evasive and not really getting back to ds in what I would call a timely manner

He then told his work as a curiosity that he was leaving when he landed the new job but said he would of course work up his notice since he has said he was leaving they have stopped giving him shifts

He now can’t complain because he needs the refrance

The old job said they have sent the refrance on Thursday So ds rang the new job to confirm it was sent and to ask about a start date after ringing her twice and finally getting hold of her has said she is not sure if she has received the refrance or not will check and ring him back today that was at 10am and yet again she has failed to get back to him

He’s been waiting five weeks so far he can’t get any shifts at his old place is frightened to say anything in case the fuck him over with the new job

However the HR lady and the new job is being very slow in the mean time he has two jobs and no money at all

Not sure what else to advise

Ds he rings not to often but often enough to try and get her to pull her finger out

I think you should stay out of it and let him sort it out himself.

I have he’s been doing all the sorting out himself

However as his mum he has been asking us what we think as any child would ask their parents

. He’s really getting a bit down about it all

He walked the 45 minuets to work yesterday to be told they have cancelled his shift

Could he quit and take agency work as stop gap

Could they be waiting for his dbs?

I think he's learnt a valuable lesson about counting your chickens. He shouldn't have told the old employer until he had a definite start date. But you live and you learn

Ok - the job he's currently in - who gave him references for that ? Go back to those people and ask if they will give him another set for his new job.

Tell new job that he has alternative references as current job is being slow.

Be mindful there is no legal obligation to give references.

It is a shame, but the lesson for your DS is not to tell people he's leaving, even informally, until he has a contract and a start date. It's a pity his current employers aren't being kind, but I imagine they are counting him out of future shifts as he's not going to be there much longer.

What was his notice period? I thought it was a week a year until the obligatory months notice. Presumably as he told them 5 weeks ago, his notice period has expired. Agree with others, tell him to go to an agency in the interim and get casual work, bar work perhaps

Op, it is very difficult to give a bad reference under current law unless the person has been caught breaking H&S rules or been through a disciplinary process for some reason, so I wouldn’t worry about that yet.
More likely is that half the country are on holiday at the moment so if a reference needs two people’s input, it will take a while.
DBS checks are taking up to 8 weeks at the moment where I am, because lots of people are on holiday.
Everything slows down in August so I’d tell your ds to stay calm, hold his nerve and wait.
Nasty & petty of his old job to withhold shifts though. A good move to leave

His dbs came through with in two days

About 5 weeks ago

The issue is the old job says they have sent a refrance the new job saying they didn’t receive it he has a email from the new job saying it was sent

Also new job not really getting back to ds to tell him what’s going on it’s taken HR 4 weeks to send over the refrance form to his old job

The word is reference.

All he can do is stay calm and as good humoured as possible, and hold his nerve.

He was perhaps hasty in saying he was leaving if the new role was subject to references. If it is a traineeship maybe they were not expecting anyone to be available before September and hr person may have been on leave since the job offer was made and need to catch up. He needs to sit it out and chase progress from time to time.

Is your son’s current job the one he was defrauding with fake gift vouchers? That may have just a little something to do with it, I’d wager.

Your DS is approaching this in a very decent, almost innocent way … had a job, got a new job, thought all would go smoothly … welcome to the real world! Not a help, I know, but unfortunately this is often how things go in the workplace. Old company won't be able to give him a bad reference, but they could take their time sending it. New HR person isn't as invested in your DS starting asap as he is, and may have reference on her desk needing actioning, or may need to chase it. When I was about to start a new job - when I was 19 - my current employer was vile to me. Decided to 'let me go' as apparently I wasn't 'up to scratch' … had taken them over a year and many compliments to realise this! I guess they wanted to push me once they knew I was about to jump. Your DS needs to chalk this up to experience for the future: it will turn out ok and he's got you for support.

Is your son’s current job the one he was qdefrauding with fake gift vouchers? That may have just a little something to do with it, I’d wager. WHAT?!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3241889-Finally-admitted-it

Christ, I'm amazed he had the balls to even ASK for a reference given he's committed sodding fraud!!!

Christ, I'm amazed he had the balls to even ASK for a reference given he's committed sodding fraud!!!

Me too. But the OP will be along shortly to say she’s tut-tutted at him and that’s punishment enough. This golden boy can do no wrong.

I would be surprised if his DBS came through in 2 says but maybe I am out of touch. He needs to be firm with new employer that he needs a start date agreed by x date or he will be looking for a new job.

DBS in 2 days sounds like BS to be frank.

Are you sure he’s telling you the truth? Has he not been sacked which is why he’s getting no shifts? If he’s the one who was putting dodgy vouchers through, even if he wasn’t sacked, wouldn’t he have that on his record? Although it’s difficult to give a negative reference I think you can state facts such as disciplinary action. The apprenticeship may be deciding what to do based on the reference.

Oh the OP hasn't been back since news of the fraud emerged- what a shocker! 😂😂

Ah.
He may not get a good reference then