DP cancelling our plans - again!

[PoesyCherish]

My friend is coming to stay on Sunday from Australia and I'm dropping her back to the airport very early on Saturday morning. Her and DP have never met as last time I saw her many years ago, we weren't together. I was really looking forward to them meeting. We had made plans to go out together on Thursday too.

DP said this morning he now has to go on a last minute business trip to Germany flying out on Sunday (before I pick my friend up) and flying back on Thursday. He has got two options, one flight gets back early Thursday morning and the other gets back late Thursday evening. If he took the 2nd option it means he would only see my friend on Friday. Regardless of which one he takes, it means our plans on Thursday are now just going to be my friend and I as the tickets are non amendable.

DP wants to take the second flight as he doesn't want to be getting up early on Thursday morning. This is about the 5th time we've made various plans and they've had to be cancelled or changed for various different business trips.

AIBU to be upset about him going away on the business trip and not sticking to our plans? I feel what is the point of us ever making plans if we have no idea if they'll be stuck to??

AIBU to want him to get the earlier flight so he can meet my friend on Thursday instead of just the Friday?

For me it would depend if this was a one off or if this happened every-time you tried to plan things with your DH.
If it's a one off YABU it's your friend, she's coming to spend time with you and probably doesn't care how much your DH is joining in.
All the time is different, does he really need to go on this business trip if so then that trumps a friends visit. If he doesn't then you are NBU my (D)H constantly prioritises work over spending time with me, he suffers from anxiety which makes him work long hours ,go on trips (which he doesn't need to do but is too anxious not to do) it has had a major impact on our marriage I just plan things with family or friends now if he is able to come it's a bonus but I don't rely on him being able to come.

It's not very reasonable to expect him not to put work first. If he puts his foot down when his son's involved, perhaps he wants to reserve that for those occasions.

I don't think it's unreasonable to let him know you are disappointed especially because he could make it back if he wanted but is choosing an easier option for him. Then I would put it behind you and enjoy time with your friend (until he wants you to go somewhere then I would conveniently remember last minute you need to do something else like washing your hair - but I am a cow). Really though, only you know if he's doing this because he has to or because he just doesn't put you high in his priorities list.

I think meeting your friend on friday is the best solution. Theyre not mates. They dont want to catch up. Shes your friend. If i was your mate id be relieved i only had to meet your dp on one of the days

YBU

It's a shame that your DP has all these business trips and he must be disappointed at missing out on the event on Thursday if he'd been looking forward to it.
But she's your friend. I'm struggling to see why she would be desperate to spend much time with your DP or why he would want to spend a lot of time with her.
They'll get to meet each other on the Friday. I'd have thought that would be plenty for both of them. Surely you and your friend will enjoy yourselves more if it's just the two of you together.

As someone who travels a lot with work, I try to minimise the impact as much as possible, and to maximise my time with them. If it was me, I'd get the earlier flight.

I think YABU in this particular instance because she's your friend and not his, but if this is a pattern of behaviour then you are not U that the pattern itself is a bad thing.

One of the things that I nearly divorced DH for was a constant unspoken understanding that he would keep his promises unless a work thing cropped up and prevented it. It affected everything from holidays (internet cafe tour of New Zealand springs to mind) to promising to play football with the DC on a Saturday afternoon (he would say 'in 30 mins' we would all wait around and then 2 hours later he would play with them for 10 mins before going back to his computer).

Ask yourself if your DP's work is more important to him than you are, and whether that would be acceptable to you at different stages of your future life together. For instance, if you have a baby and he agrees to pick up baby supplies on the way home from work but doesn't come home from work until after the shops close.