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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have been "found" on a Public Forum

20 replies

MK1980 · 15/08/2018 09:53

I know this is totally ironic .....but I use another forum regularly and after posting something on there a few weeks ago discussing a family issue - this morning I have received a screenshot of the post from another family member telling me to get it down! Apparently they were sent it from someone they know.

I know its a public forum but I never thought for a minute anyone would know it was me, its a Family Holiday Forum and I had posted in the general chat section.

I loved the forum, it was my other "go-to-place" for help and advice and I feel violated! I probably don't need anyone to answer because I know IBU.... but Im still gutted!

OP posts:

BoneShaker · 15/08/2018 09:57

Is there an option to deny all knowledge of it, or is it an issue that could only have been about your family?

Original poster

MK1980 · 15/08/2018 10:04

No I cant deny it, they know it is me from things I have said that can only relate to my family.

I admitted it was me though and told them it was my choice to ask for advice where I wanted but I am so gutted that people I "know" personally have saw it and have shared it.

OP posts:

70sShow · 15/08/2018 10:06

You feel violated? Really?

I don't think the Internet is for you.

ShirleyPhallus · 15/08/2018 10:07

Stiff lesson in always changing tiny details about yourself when posting online

It really surprises me how many posters reveal such huge personal details about their lives on here

Oysterbabe · 15/08/2018 10:10

Can you set up a new account there and just be careful not to post anything identifying in future?

I have an online stalker, some nutter I went out with 20 years ago. He follows me around the internet and used to send me really inappropriate emails all the time. I'd keep blocking him and he'd just set up new accounts. He's almost certainly reading this 👋

INeedNewShoes · 15/08/2018 10:22

It's the risk we take posting on an online forum.

My sister stumbled across a post I'd written that mentioned her (I didn't say it was my sister - didn't even specify the gender of person - I was talking about and didn't give any details about her but she could tell it was me - remarkable!). Needless to say it didn't go down well. She is mightily pissed off and even though I didn't say anything that bad I understand why. It's an uneasy feeling knowing someone is talking about you...

chipswndbeans · 15/08/2018 10:28

Aren't you worried they'll read this too

Original poster

MK1980 · 15/08/2018 10:31

No... because I have changed my personal details on here in the hope that they wont know its me. On the other forum it was plainly obvious it was me, there is no denying it!

OP posts:

Loonoon · 15/08/2018 10:35

Take it down, name change and carry on as usual being more careful to anonymise in future.

Glymou · 15/08/2018 10:40

I have an online stalker from 'real life' on here. Every time I spot her again I name change. I name change a lot and I change personal details.

Much sympathy, OP.

blueangel1 · 15/08/2018 10:46

I change details on here too. I'm pretty sure that nobody else I know uses MN, but I don't want to take the chance.

twattymctwatterson · 15/08/2018 10:52

Take it as a lesson in posting identifying information online op. I actually have plenty of identifying information here about me so that's no judgment but I take the view that if I'm idenfied irl there's nothing here that will be upsetting for anyone else or that I'd GAF about people knowing. If there was I'd name change

HerestoyouMrsRobinson · 15/08/2018 11:05

I've 'found' someone I know on here and she writes, shall we say, not always truthfully. It's hard not to barge in and point this out but it's better to count to 10 in my head and walk away.

PigletJohn · 15/08/2018 11:06

IIRC it's possible to trace people on forums when they use the same IP address or user name.

I forget how, but on another forum, we had a suspicious post about WCs, and tracked down the poster as a pee troll, who was also a member of some Special Interest group.

9amTrain · 15/08/2018 11:14

If they're being tracked by their IP address then that would only happen if it's the site owner and both owners are the same.

PigletJohn · 15/08/2018 11:22

just checked, they were traced by searching on IP address, which revealed the other usernames and websites they were on.

AFAIK your IP address is not freely available, but the websites you use can see it.

These websites did not have the same owner.

If you use the same username in multiple places, anybody can find it.

70sShow · 15/08/2018 12:42

Your IP is easily changed and hidden.

There is no way, for example, MN could legally speak to Pistonheads and see if the same IP was on both sides.

If one of MN's staff (for example) had access to the IP addresses of users without a real necessity then they'd be reporting themselves to the IC (again).

Pengggwn · 15/08/2018 13:18

I can't think of anything you could say that you couldn't deny. Just say it isn't you, you don't know what they're talking about.

9amTrain · 15/08/2018 13:22

They've already admitted to it.

Lemonyknickers · 15/08/2018 13:26

I generally name change every few months, this name is on its way out if only I can recall my password! I too identified someone on MNs and I know she suspected who I was. Sometimes things just click together so either nothing too personal or name change regularly.

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