Hi, new here and looking for some sound advice. Feel that I've come to a dead end and really don't know where to go from here.
Married for 15 years, in my early 40s, 3 children, all school age and doing well etc etc. And that's where the nice stops really.
Used to have a well-paid, rewarding job I loved but my career fell apart for reasons that are irrelevant to this discussion (we're talking years ago now and it was all due to other people's failings not mine). I've remained in the same field since, but doing occasional work particularly as the children were pre-schoolers. OH earns three times what I do but has insanely long hours that sometimes takes her away for short periods. She's just taken ££££ borrowing for more qualifications so she can move up the ladder. We need more money and this will help her to secure it so in principle I have no problem with this.
For me, though, I'm in a rut. Work in my field is hard to come by and really I want out as I've lost the career and ended up doing bitty work which isn't rewarding any more. There are things I'd like to do, but it always needs more training or qualifications - which we can't afford, not now. I have literally no friends - I never did find making friends easy in life, ever, and my efforts in recent years have always come to nothing. With all the kids at school, every week is long and lonely. The relationship with my OH is good, though physical contact is sporadic and rarely at my instigation (not for lack of trying!). I seem to spend huge parts of the each week doing meaningless chores and errands because someone has to and there is noone else to.
I just can't see any way out really and it's beginning to get me down. I'm starting to think maybe this is how it is meant to be and that I shouldn't expect more... but I dunno.