To not say anything out of fear?

[Teachtolive]

This is really bugging me. I was walking up the road today and saw two women with two boys of about 8-10 y/o (or maybe a little younger) walking towards me. From a distance of 30 ft away I watched one woman poke one of the boys, or give him a shove with a crutch she was using. By the time I got close to them the boy was red in the face, visibly angry/upset (though he didn't appear to be crying) and he said "then stop hitting me!" He wasn't shouting as such but his voice was raised.

I so desperately wanted to say to her that there was no cause for her to shove a kid with her crutch but I was walking with my two and had visions of me getting beat yo death with her crutch! I feel so sorry for that kid but at the same time totally paralysed by the fear of becoming one of those headlines where someone is killed for something tiny like saying something. AIBU? Is there a reasonable way to deal with something like this where you can protect the kid and yourself?

Bump

It’s a tough one. You’ve had a tiny glimpse into their lives - anything could have happened. The boys could have been hitting her and defending herself, for example. Or just a really, really shitty day, like we’ve all had, and she’s just snapped. I’m not defending her, just saying you only had a glimpse.

Maybe in the future you could ask if everything is ok? Or just a smile and ‘ok?’

Yeah I suppose so. It didn't seem like she snapped though. She seemed very cool. The boy was a ball of pure frustration though. You know when you see someone unable to process the emotion they're feeling and they're trying not to explode?

It’s so hard isn’t it, to know what to do in that situation. I remember my dad having a go at a bloke in the street because he had shouted at his toddler, but now I’ve got one of my own I can understand it!

Before i had kids it would have annoyed me. Since I've had them, the combination of sadness and anger it brings up in me in overwhelming. I know we all lose the rag with kids from time to time but there's no excuse for swearing at them over and over, or poking them with crutches!