AIBU?

[HectorlovesKiki]

AIBU? Our son got married & his now wife & her family (much wealthier than us) organised the entire wedding, didn't ask me or DH to contribute either financially or have any other input. We felt totally excluded.
DH & I paid as much for their honeymoon as her parents paid for the wedding. Bride thanks her parents during reception but there's no mention of me or my DH & the super duper honeymoon we organised. After they returned from honeymoon, DS thanked us for a fabulous time but we received no thanks, no text, no e-mail, letter etc from DDIL for a very expensive honeymoon.
We feel like we've been slapped in the face. She's a school teacher so she's not daft. We feel differently towards her since the wedding. AIBU?

Have you seen DIL since the honeymoon?

He has said thank you for both of them.

You sound like hard work.

Why didn't your son get up to give you a vote of thanks ?.. if they both didn't mention you then you can't put all the blame on her ..

I always consider thanks from one of us is thanks from both of us...
I can see why you're miffed but don't give with the expectation of getting in return (even thanks!)

Yeah, if your son said nothing either, he's equally culpable. I also agree that it's only necessary for one of a married couple to send thanks - generally I thank my family and dh thanks his.

It’s traditional for the brides family to organise, although it’s normal now to include the groom family. Maybe they felt cheeky asking you for input, as if they were asking for money. Did you offer? Or maybe it’s something her parents has always promised her, could afford it so just did it?
I would say that it was up to your son to thank you in his speech, not dil. was it important that he mentioned this in a speech rather than thank you personally? I’m not sure why you obviously feel so unappreciated???
I have some sympathy, but it sounds like a competition and one upmanship rather than you actually wanting to treat your son/dil to a special gift. If your dil is picking up these types of vibes I’m not surprised she’s not said thank you??? I would say be careful, as if the bad vibes continue when grandchildren come along it could cause tears

Your son thanked you. They are a couple so one person thanks for both. She thanked her parents after the wedding, he thanked you after the honeymoon. Have you seen them both as a couple since their return? If you have and she has been rude fair enough. If not I fear you are not starting off very well here. As a mother of two daughters in law you really must do better. You have more to lose than she does, really! Old fashioned I know, but read wìenough MN and you will know what I mean. Make this relationship work or lose your son

Your son should have thanked you in his speech. I can't believe he didn't! This is his fault not hers.

Why didn't your son say something in the speeches, why are you only blaming your DIL?

Your son thanked you.

Are you one of those people that wants the glory/it doesn't count unless it's public facebook?

You sound like hard work.

Yes, I think you're being unreasonable. He has probably said 'I have thanked my parents for us'. Why are you blaming her? Has your husband never said thanks to someone else for a gift given to you both?

Why are you complaining about not contributing to your son's wedding? That's not even a thing.

There is so much to think of during a wedding and it's traditional to say thank you to the people who have paid for it. I don't see how the honeymoon is anything to do with the guests invited to the wedding so it wouldn't occur to me to thank you in front of them.

I can understand where you're coming from but since you've asked, on balance I do think you sound touchy.

yup - agree with the PP, DS should thank on behalf of both, and when you see them next she should thank you as well

(you do seem like hard work though)