Cutting my nose off to spite my face??

[edukate]

Ive been invited to a pool party by a new friend who also came to my party recently. My dilema is that she has also invited an ex-friend of mine as she didnt know the situation, another friend has warned me as the ex-friend regularly gets really drunk and on the few occasions ive been around her in the past 2 years has staggered over to me and proceeded to try to 'fix' things. I'm not being judgemental but i grew out of that kind of behaviour many years ago and this is why were no longer friends, its fine if she wants to be like that but not around me. Theres no way i want to be around her, she has a shocking reputation, gets falling-down drunk at every opportunity and i just dont want her in my life. Id love to go to my new friends party as there will be lots of my existing friends there but just dont want the hassle of this other person.

Can you shake it off? Not get emotionally tangled? Let her behaviour just be about her while you get on getting to know your new friend and enjoying being with your existing friends.

Tough one I can see why you’d want to avoid her if it’s an option I’d pop along for a little bit but have an excuse why you’re leaving earlier and then dash off before ex friend has time to get drunk. With any luck new friend will be put off by her behaviour and ex friend won’t be invited back.

'Shocking reputation' - touch judgmental

i know, it sounds awful when i talk about her reputation but id heard things about her behaviour around guys and refused to believe them cos i was her friend, until i saw it for myself - shes just grubby!

i think thats a good idea, im out the following night as well and at my age i can only do one late do a week!!! lol

I would go. Hopefully your new friend will want to be friends with you rather than her. If things get messy, just leave earlier than planned.

Just avoid her, it's not hard to walk away should she approach you. She can't force you to interact with her. There will be a room full of witnesses if her behaviour is shocking.

Just go. Ignore her and if she starts leave. I’m sure there will be other people there to occupy her!

You should go if you want to. Let your closer friends know that if ex-friend starts trying talk etc. to you once drunk then you aren't up for any drama and will make your excuses and go.

if they're close then they should already know about her and will understand and probably even help with your escape story.

thanks blancheM and Shumpa,BlueLemon and dudsville - ill try and back-stroke away from her and cause lots of waves so she cant swim after me!!!

Can you go but have a reason you have to leave a bit early (somewhere to be early the next day) that way you get most of the party but leave before she gets too drunk.

I think thats what ill do Luckd, i actually have another do the following night - two late ones on the run and im a wreck!

update, almost a year since my fibroblast treatment to upper lids and still faint pitting, discolouration. have taken legal advice and hopefully proceeding with court action as plastic surgeon told me the scars are probably lifelong and an upper lid lift is £2000, please please please do not get this treatment done - speak to a plastic surgeon (usually a chat is free) and get their advice, save your skin!!!

oops wrong post, must be the easter break has addled my brain lol xxx