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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask you if you think thatchers are people who just aren‘t very clean or organized

64 replies

ConfusedWife1234 · 14/08/2018 15:10

Where we live it is the first/second day of the day care after the holidays. We arrived there: five minutes late, clothes I had ironed the day before already wrinkled. One of my boys had dirt on his face I had scrubbed just half an hour before...
... and this is so embarrassing, because I come from a long line of soldiers and dh served.

Does this happen to any of you too? Do you think others notice too or are they just to busy wondering if people notice the dirt of their kids face? But then other kids face never look dirty early in the morning. Iwonder how they do it.

OP posts:
StrumpersPlunkett · 14/08/2018 15:29

I work in a year one class.
80% of our children walk in looking clean groomed and generally well cared for. By lunchtime most of them have become significantly more dishevelled.
Not just you. Or your children at all.

Original poster
ConfusedWife1234 · 14/08/2018 15:35

*@sycamore My FIL thinks like this fo example, not that I care very much about his opinion or that I see him very often or that there was a way to please him. You just cannot live up to his standards of cleanness... but still.

OP posts:
Original poster
ConfusedWife1234 · 14/08/2018 15:37

hands Shatners Wig some glue everything alright.

@all I am so happy i am not the only one. I always make plans to beso well-prepared, but well.....

OP posts:
TheClitterati · 14/08/2018 15:39

My dc are 10 & 7. I've never ironed their clothes. One of them always has a grubby face. They do ok - I don't think they look scruffy.

ASliceOfArcticRoll · 14/08/2018 15:41

It's the age of the kids.

They can turn it around later.

Original poster
ConfusedWife1234 · 14/08/2018 15:47

What do you mean by “later“?

OP posts:
Syfychannel · 14/08/2018 15:50

He's not a soldier, he's a little boy, so let him have fun playing and don't mind a bit of dirt and scruffiness.

SoyDora · 14/08/2018 15:52

I’m guessing she means when they’re older.

FlotSHAMnJetson · 14/08/2018 15:53

My husband is a tradesman, are my children expected to have dirty hands?

iklboo · 14/08/2018 15:57

Whoever came up with the seven p's had NEVER tried to wrangle or been in the company of small children.

BluthsFrozenBananas · 14/08/2018 15:57

Well yes, to answer the question in your title, some people have poor hygiene and some people are disorganised and some people are both. However this has nothing to do with small children, they’re just muck magnets and I can’t imagine anyone judging a parent of a small child with a smudge on their face and wrinkled clothes.

Original poster
ConfusedWife1234 · 14/08/2018 15:58

FlotSAHMnJetson, well, if he is a thatcher. No, just kidding.

No, honestly I am just afraid all that perfect mums think we are hopeless.

OP posts:
Gettingbackonmyfeet · 14/08/2018 15:58

I tend to agree that it's about effort but bear with me...

I also think it's about what you prioritise ...ultimately I work full time , have a side business (these are what keeps a roof over their heads and food on the table) two children under 6 , so a very busy life. My children are clean and happy...but they are not turned out perfectly and I'm ok with that

I have limited time sometimes to spend with my children...i have to sometimes choose to read them a story or pair matching socks....guess which I choose....its not the socks

If we are walking to school and my two year old becomes fascinated by a spider web (a surprisingly common occurrence) I worry less about a smudge on his nose from shoving it into a bush to see the spider better than the fact he will remember the intricacies of a spiders web

So yes...if I got up at 4am and put some welly into it my children would be turned out perfectly...but I don't because of be shattered and shout at them about socks on the floor more than I already do

Don't stress OP they won't remember matching socks but they will remmebr a spider web...

DameDoom · 14/08/2018 16:02

Some kids are just muck magnets - you could spit and polish them every twenty minutes and they'd still end up looking like they'd been up a chimney 5 minutes later.

InfiniteVariety · 14/08/2018 16:03

Don't sweat the small stuff OP

BlooperReel · 14/08/2018 16:06

My kids usually look like they've been dragged through a hedge backwards by the end of the day.

MyDirtyLittleSecret · 14/08/2018 16:13

Don't sweat it OP, this too will pass. I had two whom I could have looking like something out of a school uniform catalogue right before we left for school. I'd turn away from them for 3 seconds to lock the door and turn back to find my pristine storewindow display children had been replaced by two apprentice scarecrows. I'd then have to negotiate the school run with them alongside all the perfectly turned out mums and their perfectly turned out children.

Syfychannel · 14/08/2018 16:14

As long as they start and end the day clean and wash their hands throughout the day it should be fine. Try to avoid your FiL he sounds like an arse.

Elementtree · 14/08/2018 16:18

I was perfectly turned out when I was a kid. Endless fussing over my hair that took ages to make neat and I had to sleeping annoying plaits to keep the curls nice, beautifully patent leather shoes that scratched easily so I was constantly reminded to pick my feet up, perfectly clean and uncreased clothes so no playing near the puddles.

When I was 6 my brother came along and the standards dropped enough so I could drop the little doll act. Thank fuck.

Original poster
ConfusedWife1234 · 14/08/2018 20:07

Thanks everybody for your encouragement.
@Syfychannel I am not trying to turn him or my other kids into a soldier, you got me totally wrong. I was just saying that I should be better organized because the influence soldiers have on my life... theoretically speaking, but it did not happen like that.

OP posts:
HugeGlassofMalbec · 14/08/2018 21:55

My dad's like this: starts the day combed and neatly ironed, tucked in, shaved... ends the day looking like Tom Hanks in Castaway!

My daughter has inherited these genes.

Pebblespony · 14/08/2018 22:00

Children playing outside can either be clean or have fun, but not both, in my opinion.

BellMcEnd · 14/08/2018 22:06

I have 3 DCs. The first one is like DH - always looks neat and tidy. Can play for hours in the woods / fields, seems to repel dirt. The other two could find mud in a hospital. They have daily baths, daily clean clothes. Filthy in 2 seconds flat just walking down the stairs. No idea how take after me Hmm

Original poster
ConfusedWife1234 · 15/08/2018 11:46

My dh is just so neatand tidy but most unfortunately all my four kids take after me Confused not a trace of him in them when it comes to this.

OP posts:
WiddlinDiddlin · 15/08/2018 12:03

I think there are people who manage to stay clean and neat without any apparent effort..

And then there are those like me who are genetically scruffy - I can start the day fresh and clean from a shower, clean clothes, clean everything...

Do EXACTLY the same thing as my friend (down to us both using manual wheelchairs which for those who don't know means hands on wheels, wheels that have been on floors, so floor dirt on hands)...

.... and within a few hours I am FILTHY.. dirty hands, dirty nails, dirty thighs where I've wiped my dirty hands, smears on me face...

She's still clean and neat!

We shared a hotel room a few months back (And a nice hotel, think of a 'naice' but not stupid hotel chain. That. Not some utter scruff-hole) and she was amazed at the state I can get in whilst doing exactly the same activities as her!

The only conclusion we can draw is that I am some sort of filth-magnet Pigpen type person and she just isn't!