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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To work full time?

11 replies

IGiorni · 14/08/2018 14:29

Posting in here for traffic. How many of you are parents who work full time? Pros and cons?
Background: I didn’t work until my son started school as it wasn’t really worthwhile due to childcare costs. We just about managed but used up most of our savings. I went back to work part time and uni alongside, so got student loans as well as my wage. I’ve now finished studying and we’re struggling for money again. We can just about get by but there is very little spare cash for savings, holidays or treats. I’m in an entry-level job and to move into management with my qualifications would almost certainly mean working full time. We have a fantastic childminder and family who can help out with childcare in the holidays but I just feel so guilty. WIBU to work full time and miss out on time with DS for financial security?

OP posts:

ShutUpBaz · 14/08/2018 14:33

I went full time when my son, nearly 8, started school full time. I am very fortunate to have a flexible job and my DH works shifts. He is the breadwinner but my prospects are improving due to the Apprenticeship I have just started.

I truly believe I personally am a better parent because I work. We are better off financially and I have more time and patience when I am at home.

Good childcare, which it sounds like you have, will be key. You definately shouldn't feel guilty.

Horses for courses though.

PumpkinPie2016 · 14/08/2018 14:36

I work full time and have done since I returned from maternity leave when DS was 9 months old. Initially, DH also worked full time (we were both teachers) and DS went to nursery. He loved nursery and although it was hard at times, we managed fine.

Unfortunately, DH had to give up teaching due to ill health 18 months ago. He is now self employed on a part time basis and I work full time.

It works fine - my son starts school this year so he would be there anyway. I work hard to ensure that my evenings are devoted to him until he is in bed and then I do anything I need to do after that. Weekends I ensure I do things with DS and DH .
And then I have the holidays to spend with him. He is a very sociable, happy little boy so me working full time hasn't affected him.

More generally, my wage means that a can afford holidays and treats such as days out to the farm plus swimming lessons for DS and in time, if he wants to, other clubs/activities.

welshweasel · 14/08/2018 14:39

We both work full time. DS went to Nursery at 4 months old, I’m pregnant with our second and plan to go back to work around 6 months. We are much better off financially if I work and I love my job. DS has a great time at Nursery and seems to be developing into a well adjusted child.

summerFruitPudding · 14/08/2018 14:40

I work full time in a demanding job although I do get long holidays.

Being a good parent and providing for your children is about more than being at home and expecting the government to support you.

Of course you'll miss out on time with your children but life isn't perfect. DH took extended paternity leave with DC2 and I had 2 years off with DC1.

There's no perfect solution but there's a lot to be said for a) providing security b) being a great role model

Happygoldfinch · 14/08/2018 14:42

I think that financial security is everything. Memories come a very good second. If you work, you’ll give your DC both.

trevthecat · 14/08/2018 14:45

We both work full time. 3dc aged 8, 5 and 10m. Oh is home around 5pm I get home with all 3dc about 6pm. Works for us.

ThisCannotBe · 14/08/2018 14:48

We're both full time. Our son has been in nursery full time since six months old, he's now almost three.
Works well for all three of us. We make the most of the weekends and evenings and have lovely holidays together.

blackheartsgirl · 14/08/2018 15:14

Single parent. Full time on minimum wage. Its shit. No better off working. Certainly not paying my bills

Original poster

IGiorni · 14/08/2018 15:33

Thank you everyone. None of my friends with children work full time so I have nothing to compare to but I know some of them do struggle for money at times, especially towards the end of the summer holidays. We’d also like another child eventually but it’s not feasible at the moment. I could earn about 3 times my current salary and not pay much more in childcare but I’ve always been at home in the school holidays and I’m worried about missing out. I think like a few of you have said though, it’s about making the most of evenings, weekends and annual leave.

OP posts:

Neverender · 14/08/2018 15:42

I do and I don't regret it. Not one bit. As long as you have great childcare it's not an issue.

Lazypuppy · 14/08/2018 16:28

I'm going back full time after maternity when LO will be 10 months old.

I can't wait to go back to work, i love my job and i earn a really good wage so we can afford holidays/days out etc and not have to worry about money. Having that financial safety is very important to me.

I also know that i'm not suited to be a SAHM.

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