Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Clothing your children

50 replies

NewGrandad · 14/08/2018 10:57

Conversation at work today with 3 colleagues who have children ranging from 5-15. They were discussing school clothes for returning tomorrow and there are so many things that there children WON'T wear!

Surely while they are children you, as the parent and the one paying, decide what they wear? Especially if it's already been bought?

Also noticed this with my sister and her 2 wee ones. "Such a hassle getting out the door today as Child1, aged 6, would only wear his raincoat." Sunny day.

Is consultative clothing the done thing nowadays? Has so much changed in the last 20-30 years?

OP posts:

AlonsoTigerHeart · 14/08/2018 12:08

not programmable robots

FatTory · 14/08/2018 12:08

One year my then three year old DD wore woolly tights and a summer dress all year! That was all she wanted to wear.

Original poster

NewGrandad · 14/08/2018 12:21

I think the handle NewGrandad kind of implies I have (have had) children. But just to confirm yes I have 3 children in their late 20s early 30s. I can't remember such hassle when they were younger.

Looks like we're going to have fun when we have my new grandson overnight, once he's older.

OP posts:

SoyDora · 14/08/2018 12:23

That’s the point, there’s no hassle in my house as I let them wear what they want within reason. If I tried to force them into something they didn’t want to wear/were uncomfortable in, then there would be hassle.
You don’t have to have your grandson overnight if you think it won’t be fun.

BertieBotts · 14/08/2018 12:24

I think it has changed in that I would not be willing to smack my child into wearing clothes which I have chosen, because I find that unreasonable. Which he knows which means, yes, I don't have that particular level of control - which I'm fine with, even though sometimes it's annoying. DS has been particular about clothes since he was about 3. It doesn't matter that much. Be has enough clothes to have a choice, it doesn't hurt me if he exercises one. It's good for him actually.

SaoirseTheSeahorse · 14/08/2018 12:28

My sister is two years younger than I am (she’s 32) and I distinctly remember my mum having this exact ‘hassle’ with her A LOT. It isn’t a New Thing That Only Modern Parents Do. It’s just common sense and having a dose of empathy for your children.

SisterNotCisTerf · 14/08/2018 12:29

I rarely look at usernames. Also, people make up all sorts of names that have nothing to do with their real lives.

Looks like we're going to have fun when we have my new grandson overnight, once he's older.

The secret is to pre select 2/3 outfits yourself the night before and set them out for the child. In the morning they can pick from those 2/3 and they can mix and match from the 2/3 if they want. Don’t pick something you know they hate. Try and pick things you know they like to wear.

Original poster

NewGrandad · 14/08/2018 12:30

@SoyDora

You don’t have to have your grandson overnight if you think it won’t be fun.

Have you had a humour bypass?

OP posts:

SoyDora · 14/08/2018 12:33

Not at all, just seemed a simple enough solution to me 🤷🏻‍♀️.

JacquesHammer · 14/08/2018 12:34

I can't remember such hassle when they were younger

It’s not in the slightest bit a hassle.

“What are you wearing today?”
“Time to get dressed”

mostimproved · 14/08/2018 12:35

It's not really a hassle though if you just let hem wear what they want - surely it's more hassle than arguing at the door and being late for wherever you're going?

If you think they might get cold, bring extra clothes/put it in their bag, although chances are they won't really notice being a bit cold as they are a child and too busy running around. they might get hot, they'll have to carry it. Not really a hassle! And if you buy something they don't like - you can return it and not buy that style/item again. Simple!

Thingsthatgo · 14/08/2018 12:35

My Ds who is 6 years old like to have a reason for choosing his outfit, today he came down in a blue tshirt, white shorts, and red sock and shoes. ‘I’m the French Flag’ he told me! Yesterday he wore all grey to be an elephant.

mostimproved · 14/08/2018 12:35

Sorry I meant 'surely it is more hassle arguing.. than just letting them wear what they choose.

GreenMeerkat · 14/08/2018 12:43

I haven't bought my 4yo DD any trousers for her uniform as I know for a fact that she won't want to wear them if there is a choice of a skirt or a dress. If I have her trousers to wear, she would wear them, I wouldn't let her dictate what she was wearing, but, with a 3 year old to get ready and a newborn (by the time she starts school), it's not worth the hassle of her kicking off and sulking about clothes.

RiverTam · 14/08/2018 12:44

Maybe it was your DW dealing with this? But again, kids weren't so much hassle then because they weren't allowed a voice.

SocialPiranha · 14/08/2018 12:47

I’m a strong believer in picking your battles and mismatched outfits aren’t a battle I can be arsed with. I’ll make suggestions. “Are you sure you need wellies on? It’s not wet outside” sort of comments but other than that, meh.

dizzydaisies · 14/08/2018 12:52

Yes, pick your battles - wellies on a sunny day, so what!

But also, as your children are now in their 20s/30s, it's easy to look back with rose tinted glasses about how compliant your children were, and how easy parenting was.

Birdinthetree · 14/08/2018 12:53

Has so much changed in the last 20-30 years? Oh yes, quite a bit has changed. Thankfully! Not so much smacking anymore, seat belts. car seats. no whiskey in the bottle to get them to sleep....maybe you should buy a book?

BertieBotts · 14/08/2018 12:55

I don't let my DS wear dirty clothes - that's about the extent of it. He frequently wants to, because he has his favourites and he wants to wear them forever. So sometimes he'll get dressed and I'll have to explain that he needs to change them.

arolam · 14/08/2018 13:15

I have so many childhood memories of being forced into wearing clothes I didn't want. It made me feel sad and uncomfortable and like I didn't want to join in and do things. There are several photos of me looking so miserable in dresses and other 'outfits' I desperately didn't want to wear! It really affected me. I'm sure this isn't the case for many children and my feeling may have been stronger (they still are, I cannot wear stuff I don't like at all) but I would never want mine to feel like that so on the whole, if they express a wish to wear something I'll let them and likewise if they really don't want to wear something I won't make them. I usually don't talk about clothes at all. Don't ask them, just put stuff out - so far none of them seem to care much!

Ariela · 14/08/2018 13:36

Daughter stopped wearing dresses at 1 when she realised that crawling in them got you stuck. She simply refused ever to put one on!
She's late teens now and I can count the number of times she has EVER worn a dress since (funerals, 1 wedding, 1 prom and Ascot Races)

pointythings · 14/08/2018 14:11

I echo pick your battles. I always let mine choose from a selection of 2-3 outfits that were vaguely suitable and encouraged them to dress themselves from an early age. And if they wanted to make duff choices, I let them - and then let them live with the consequences. It's how they learn best.

These days they are 15 and 17. They have a monthly allowance out of which they have to pay for all non-essential clothing and shoes (i.e. not school stuff and underwear). I don't get involved and it's fine.

DrWhy · 14/08/2018 14:41

God yes, parenting has changed as someone said above, fortunately my Mum and MIL are accepting of this and don’t push their ways on me. They were cynical at first but see that DS at the moment seems to be working out OK! Mum still thinks we give him far more choice than is necessary but it’s always within the parameters that we consider acceptable and it saves a lot of fights. He chooses one from each pile of vests, trousers, tops and socks so he goes out in utterly random combos but he’s always appropriately dressed for the weather. It’s far easier to say ‘please go and choose your clothes now’ or ‘uh oh, if you don’t choose your clothes daddy will’ and have him dash off to get them and be willing to wear them than to wrestle him into a matching dinosaur combo while he screams blue murder about wanting the tiger socks and then takes his shoes and socks off in the car! On the flip side some things are still non-negotiable but they tend to be important things for his health, safety or general wellbeing like teeth cleaning and car seats. At nearly 2 he has very little he can control in his life and so I’m very happy to let him control the things he reasonably can.

Littleloaf · 14/08/2018 14:57

I had to say no today when my just-turned-2yo wanted to wear a fleece jacket and thick winter trousers to go out into 30°c blazing sunshine. Otherwise I don't think it really matters.

FourFriedChickensDryWhiteToast · 14/08/2018 14:59

tell you what, you try and get a secondary aged child to wear a coat to school, and then get back to us.

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread