Sony please help though it sounds trivial

[NoThatsNotMyName]

I'm crying as I write this as I don't know what to do.
I've recently married and had a baby with my partner of over a decade.

However recently all we seem to do is argue.

Usual things, I would like to not have to always tidy up after him, etc.

However he is from a different country. With the baby therefore I would like him to speak in his own language. I've studied this and I believe he should exclusively do so in order for the baby to learn the language. But he keeps "forgetting" himself and speaking in English.

This upsets me because it's something close to my heart that we discussed a long time ago and it is important to me. His English is very good but not perfect, which is irrelevant really but someone might ask.

He said he was tired, but I don't understand, that would be akin to me forgetting to speak to my own mother IN English.

Also it happens pretty much every day and I feel like such a fucking nag to keep reminding him.

For reference we speak mostly his language to each other, though English is bleeding in, and I speak English to the baby, which is I think where the problem lies.

Trouble is, he used to take my concerns about stuff on board, but now he jist gets pissed off even though I've tried to go gently. He comes back with stuff I do wrong, however irrelevant. Like today when asking him to put some stuff away, which might be dangerous as a trip hazard he said that apparently I crossed the road too slowly. (Because that would be dangerous to the baby).

It has become almost a competition. I can't ask him to do stuff because it just pissed him off. Like turning the lights off, flushing the toilet, locking the door. I feel like I'm looking after a big kid. I've been a fucking nag about these things for years I'm sick of hearing myself.

I'm not looking for you to tell me to leave him because I love him, but I guess I need a hand hold and maybe some tips. I'm still very down since the birth.

By the way I have no idea why I'm asking Sony for help. Fat fingers.

I was brought up bilingual and do not think it is a good idea. It confuses you.

Apart from that. Do you really think it is only the language thing. Sounds a bit like post natal depression.

Isn't it more confusing to be spoken to by the one parent in a hybrid?

No it isn't just the language, yes I do think i have pnd.

You are both experiencing a huge change. You are probably tired and hormonal, he may be tired too. Don't get hung up on the language. Let him adjust to parenting and get your MIL over to remind him of songs and words in his language. DH is very English and struggled to talk to our oldest as a baby and couldn't remember any rhymes or songs.

But you say his English is very good and you do live in GB, don‘t you?

Have you talked with your go about the fact you might have pnd?

Thanks AH. Mil is due over soon but as a rule her visits are very rare. DH wants us to move to his country but I'm afraid I'd miss my mother (sad I know). I'd love to spend part of the year in both but it's just a pipedream.

Yes we live in gb. His English is good - I'm not worried about baby's English, just his lack of the second language.

I've spoken to my HV about pnd and she is referring me to a support group.
I have the doc tomorrow and will mention it but didn't want pills whilst breastfeeding.
I feel like it's a bit easier for him, he can sleep in the spare room when he wants a full night's sleep. I'm trying to breastfeed so can't do that.

I had sertraline for PND while breastfeeding. It was fine. That's my most cheerful child! :) MIL's visit may remind him of stuff but even visits where the child is immersed in the language will help.