To need advice on how to survive the next few weeks?

[Sharkymcsharkface]

Ok, not really an AIBU —sorry—

Dp and I have split up after 5 years together. No kids —so on MN not even really a real relationship—

We were planning our wedding. My computer, facebook etc is full of pictures of wedding stuff, I have deleted it all but I still keep getting emails from various related companies pop up every day.

I have to live here for the time being. I have just changed jobs so I can’t afford to move until I get my first pay check in a few weeks and I’m looking for places but until then I have at least 2 weeks of looking at our home, all the things we have accumulated over the years, over lives together. My beautiful garden which I have put so much effort into and I can’t take with me.

Aibu to wonder how I can make it through the next few weeks until I can move out? Does anyone have any tips?

Think of things that distract you. What kind of hobbies do you have? I am currently learning a new language, because I need to distract me from something. It is much fun.

I am trying to keep busy but by the time I get home from work all I want is the comfort of our sofa, our tv programmes, etc. I feel so pathetic.

I'm trying to learn a few things, artistic things j can teach myself but I have no motivation right now. I just want to get out but I can't afford it yet

Why do you have to move out op? Not your xDP? Are you sure that's the right thing?

A split is hard regardless of whether you had kids or not. Youre getting used to losing a life you thought you were going to have. Just know you will feel better in time, but it can take a while.

Thoroughly recommend taking up a new hobby or something - new things for your new life. Book time away at family/friends.

You have an end goal in sight - focus on that. You'll be ok.

You're going to be more tired because you've started a new job (exhausting!) and you're having a tough time emotionally (also exhausting!).

You might feel differently next week.

Can you stay with a friend or family? If your xDP has money anf youre on good terms can he rent you an Airbnb for a month or so?

Anger is good. Channel some anger and break things, brilliant energy and emotion release. Any crockery you hated?! A chest of drawers that would look nice with an axe through it? Some curtains that can be shredded?

I'm in a similar position op, I asked my husband to leave two days ago and I have no idea how I'm going to move on now.

I do have children but that's helped in a way I think. I don't start thinking about the life I thought I had until there in bed so I get some respite in the day.

I think you just have to take it day by day for the first bit. Cry, reminisce, do all the things you're not supposed to but can't help and after a week say give yourself a target of sorting one thing out a day. You'll be fine, just take care of yourself. X

I have no family in the area sadly and friends have their own family and stuff going on. Xdp can't afford to give me anything as he doesn't earn enough.

I bought all the soft furnishings, curtains, throws etc. All the white goods and tv are mine but xdp is giving a contribution to cover the cost which I will use on the next place most probably. I've been here 3 1/3 yrs and it's my home but xdp won't leave and it makes more sense for me to go. I just want to get out to somewhere I don't see him in everything all the time

Then just do it and go out. How old are you by the way?

Better to split up before the wedding. If it's summer where you are, can you go out in the evening or the gym, or join a club ? What about a second job. You will have your freedom and a new beginning. At the moment every thing will be raw, but it will get better

I was in the same situation a while back - engaged to DP, we’d been together 5 years - and he visited an ex gf before we got married “for closure”, slept with her (and me when he got back) and then married her.

How I got through the two weeks until it was sorted - countdown calendar crossing days off each night on my bedside table, work, lots of books from amazon so I had something to do every night, a massive bar of chocolate which I split into 4 squares per day for the number of days left and turning into a hermit. I didn’t want to socialise, I didn’t want to do anything bad come home, get lost in a book and then sleep.

Routine was : up, shower, dress, work, home from work, bath, curl up in bed with book and chocolate, clean teeth and sleep. Repeat until move out - after that I had a flat to make my own and I could watch TV in the evening from the luxurious comfort of a beanbag.

It gets better.

Ouch :-(

It’s a crappy thing to say but time will heal. Just get through one day at a time. Be kind to yourself. Seek out friends and family who love you.

Move your furniture around so that the place feels different to when it was "our home"?

Set your spam filters really tight so not much wedding stuff ends up in your inbox (you could even set key words like "wedding" so that any email mentioning it would go straight to junk)