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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In not wanting to give school any more money atm?

28 replies

MrsWho · 03/06/2007 18:39

dd1 very anxious beofre tells me they have to take their(hers and dd2s) sponsor money in tomorrow from a sponsored skip they day they broke up.
I also owe for her trip and dd2s trip that they sent letters home about just before they broke up.
3 wweks before they had a none-uniform day and another sponsored event.They also both need baking money.

(dd2 also needs sponsor money for Rainbows too)

Its not that I can't afford it just that I need a few weeks to budget for it.
Especially as we have just been away and have spent quite a lot for us (saved up for and cost spread out)

I think I prob am being unreasonable but please tell me I am justified in having a word with the head about the short notice of these events.

OP posts:
edam · 03/06/2007 19:00

I think you are entirely reasonable and I agree re. having a word with the head to ask for more notice. Bet she just hasn't thought about it from the parents' POV.

Peachy · 03/06/2007 19:05

I wouldnt worry about Rainbows, just ,ention it and they'll be OK (ex leader me)

It gets silly doesnt it? We ahd 2 sponsor events, a book fayre and the school summer fete a few weeks ago within 7 days, X 3

Only the school fete (mainlya s I was helping) got done, the rest they had to go lump it.

Original poster
MrsWho · 03/06/2007 19:05

even assemblies and sports days we ony get a week-10 days notice

OP posts:
Peachy · 03/06/2007 19:06

I'd definitely mention it then. Ours chool does a calendar at the beginning of term which does get updated but at least helps.
There's also a (basic) website with info on.

Original poster
MrsWho · 03/06/2007 19:22

Rainbows was all sorted (I am a leader so feel I have to set some example + its for the trip so the more they get in sponsors the less we pay )

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsWho · 03/06/2007 19:29

no website either.

OP posts:
sohappyicouldcry · 03/06/2007 19:43

No you're not being unreasonable. Have a quiet word with the head about it all coming together. I bet there are lots of other parents who also feel that way, and others who really won't be able to afford it all. It's the children who miss out (or may) after all .....

Judy1234 · 03/06/2007 19:45

Can you just do really small amounts of money which I sometimes do given there are so many children and so many things? I threw the school raffle tickets in the bin (optional).

Original poster
MrsWho · 03/06/2007 20:17

I always do raffle and stuff its just the short notice that bugs me.Our Rainbow trip was planned in january and parents told before Easter (and iots not until the end of June so I don't understand why school can't do it.

Also dd2s trip is bugging me as its to the local zoo and we og regularly and have a loyalty pass so we pay £1 each to get in but because school is on a coach and have to pay full for all the kids (assuming staff are free-thats what my school gets) it is £12.

dd1s trip is to local forest also somewhere we go regularly although at least there they get extra activites.

OP posts:
tegan · 03/06/2007 20:34

I am vice chair of my school pta and I get really pissed off with the head asking for money so our commitee always tries to use events for fund raisng rather than asking for donations.

As for the school always asking for money, t is rediculous.

Our head asks that you either pay for trips, swimming, gym etc.. on a weekly basis or you give a termly volutary contribution of £8.

I have paid 3 contributions since september and stopped because I have found I am only 1 of 8 parents in dd's class who pay for anything and yet all the kids get to do the activities so until I am asked for money they can forget it.

Peachy · 03/06/2007 20:59

I have volunteered for PTA next year specifically becuase there is one person head won't bully and thats me. She daren't. She sets them (us, I do help now) such high targets that they cant achieve, then the lack of sxtuff gets blamed on them. fortunately she leaves soon. I amde a point of dancing in front of her with glee when I heard (I'm not a bitch, see my thread in SN for reasons LOL).

Trips etc I can handle but its things like the book fayre- where all the books are reallye xpensive and the teachers tell the kids they CAN have X or Y and you hve to drag a tantrumming child home because you cant afford al;l 3 . Its not just me either- all the aprents feel the same. I think it came to over £40 in one fortnight last summer!

Original poster
MrsWho · 03/06/2007 21:57

I can't do PTA as they meet when I am at work.

My Mam and dad are both involved in school and my Mam has talked about joining PTA but don't think they have much influence on these sorts of things.

I wanted to be a Governer but wastoo busy when it came up last year and there wasn't one this year and as its only an infant school dd2 will end up leaving before I get on it, will try at the juniors though.

OP posts:
roisin · 03/06/2007 22:19

It sounds like a lot of 'events' all at once MrsWho - especially round here!

We have one school fundraiser per yr, and loads of notice for trips. (Sch=NB btw, I think you know.)

DS2 (yr3) is going to Chester this yr (7.30 am - 6pm) so it is quite pricey: £15. But we had 3 months' notice, and the option to pay £1.50 in weekly instalments.

For ds1's residential (yr5) £70 we had 7.5 months' notice, and again option to pay in instalments.

If I were you I would have a quick word with the HT, or drop her a line, and ask for more notice. Feel free to tell her what other schools do. And suggest a payment schedule that you can meet this time to get the money in to them.

Original poster
MrsWho · 03/06/2007 22:34

I did sent a note with dd2s permission slip saying I needed more time, I know I am in a position where I could go in and say I am a single parent and don't earn an awful lot and can't afford it but I can afford it -If I know.
We have come back with masses of book and things from holiday and I know kids will take them into school and show off where we have been but they bought all their own books and souveniers and saved up for months for them (+ some donations from my grandparents)

the sponsored skip was for heart foundation which is a charity I would actually like to support (My Nanna has had major heart ops in the past) but as we had already had 2 sponsored things lately I can't keep asking people.

OP posts:
tegan · 03/06/2007 23:03

Recently our head has got a bit big for her boots by buying very expensive things and then asking for the money so next year we are having a year of saving and hopefully the following year give each class £200 to buy what they want with.

Tortington · 03/06/2007 23:13

i hate this. i hate that you "have to have a word" its degrading. i bloody hate it.

the schools usually have a "fund" that is used for parents who can't affod trips and the like but you have to go Ask FOR IT. bloody degrading holding out your hands.

tegan · 03/06/2007 23:15

I should add I was also a governoe for a year but I still get emails with the school budgets and stuff and our head seems to be able for hide it all as if she never had it, this is never right.

Original poster
MrsWho · 03/06/2007 23:52

My problem is that i can afford it if I have more notice and also we look more affluent than we are (I am an only child/granchild of very generous family)

OP posts:
elasticbandstand · 04/06/2007 08:05

if know i put the money aside, but apart from not being able to afford it, its the change that i don't have..

GreebosWhiskers · 04/06/2007 08:17

My dd1 went on a school residential trip in P7 - it cost 30 parents £150 each which we got to pay in instalments but then a week before the trip we all had to pay an extra £10 each 'cos 'the bus company had increased the price'(?). WTF? The price of the bus would have been agreed at the start! We found out after the trip that they'd sent along an extra teacher/helper on the trip so that's obviously what the £300 extra was for & the school decided to lie to us in case we refused to pay. Had to pay it tho' as no extra £10 = no trip for dd

Also the cost of the school meals went up 10p every term but the kids were hardly being fed anything - the dinner ladies were even counting the chips & if dd2 had salad & took some tuna she wasn't allowed cheese or coleslaw to go with it!

kslatts · 04/06/2007 09:09

I don't think you are being unreasonable expecting more notice, we received a letter before half term about dd1's trip to Legoland and the money doesn't have to be in until 6th July, giving people plenty of time to save the £20. For sponsored events I usually only send in small amounts, my parents usually also send in a small amount, we put each family member on the form seperately but only a small amount each, that way dd's are proud that they got quite a few names.

bubblepop · 04/06/2007 14:37

your not being unreasonable asking for more notice. our school is always asking for cash one way or another. i don't like asking relatives for money, so i get all the loose coppers hanging around the house and send them in.i don't care if it only comes to a couple of quid each on sponsor forms etc(ive got two children at school).so far, they hav'nt asked for any big amounts for school trips but im not sure what to do when they do.

bookwormmum · 04/06/2007 15:55

I've often sarcastically suggested that I get my salary paid direct to the school and they give me what's left once they've dipped into it (had I not got to pay for anything else in my life). Thankfully my dd's school doesn't seem to have sponsored events too often. Says she as the summer fete is approaching.

Those book fayres bug me as you can often get better books from the Book People or do what I do, buy them second-hand from the library.

crokky · 04/06/2007 17:46

Very sorry but haven't had time to read whole thread, but could you write an anonomous letter to head to save embarassment?

KeirRoyale · 04/06/2007 21:02

I can understand the irritation over last minute requests - but schools are broke... at least the ordinary State schools are.
If they didn't ask for money for trips and extra-curricular activities, they'd have to stick even more rigidly to Literacy, Numeracy, Science and ICT.
I'm on the PTA and a governor at my chldren's school, and I know they often barely make it through the year in the black.
All contributions should be voluntary though.