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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ex's

28 replies

reallygah · 13/08/2018 18:57

I've nosied looked at two of my current BF's exs on social media. They are so different to me, although very like each other. Same body type (I am tall and slim - they are shorter and much larger) and with very outgoing personalities, going by their posts - 'glamour' pics, swearing, obviously drunken posts etc; whereas I am more the 'one discrete profile pic with little personal info' type of person on SM.

Seeing his last two exs SM and getting a feel of what they are like as people has put me off him a bit......AIBU?

OP posts:
YeTalkShiteHen · 13/08/2018 19:01

YABU for looking on social media or giving a shit about what his exes look/are like. They’re obviously exes for a reason.

If you’re put off, don’t continue in a relationship, but I think it’s odd to be judge someone by an ex.

If you judged me by my XH I’d be fucked! But not if you judged me by DP. Point being I am neither of them, and shouldn’t be judged by who they are.

Mimmim112 · 13/08/2018 19:02

So he’s only allowed to like people who are exactly like you? Confused

LoveInTokyo · 13/08/2018 19:04

You sound very judgemental and as though you consider yourself a cut above, OP.

Sweetsongbird1 · 13/08/2018 19:04

Grin well he certainly got a catch when he hooked up with you! Wink

LeroyJenkins · 13/08/2018 19:05

yeah right

Original poster
reallygah · 13/08/2018 19:06

I just think it's odd that they are so different to me! seems he went for a certain type - and I don't fit that type!

OP posts:
Pinkvoid · 13/08/2018 19:07

My DP’s exes were nothing like me at all and my exes were nothing like DP. That is why they are exes!

MaisyPops · 13/08/2018 19:08

It's normal to have a bit of a nosy look (I wouldn't judge anyone who did), but it isn't normal to obsess or stalk them online.

I'll be honest OP, your entire tone seems to suggest you think you are better than them and above their antics. Your boyfriend is with you. Either accept that and move on or judge him by who he's previously slept with and leave.

HelpmeobiMN · 13/08/2018 19:08

It’s obvious you consider yourself better than his exes. Do you think he’s sullied because his previous girlfriends weren’t as good as you Wink

If this bothers you it’s a bad sign. You have to be able to accept your partner having had previous relationships that are nothing to do with you. If you can’t, do him a favour and leave him.

Original poster
reallygah · 13/08/2018 19:09

Hmmmm I am maybe being a little judgemental Blush
Perhaps he just felt like a quieter ride this time Grin

OP posts:
MyRelationshipIsWeird · 13/08/2018 19:09

Well I’m the total opposite of my DP’s ex. Like total. She’s tall, slim, blonde, outgoing, loud, big drinker, younger than him . I’m short, fat, brunette, introverted, quiet, almost teetotal and older than him!

Similarly he’s the opposite of my ex in almost every way.

We learn from past mistakes and don’t always stick to type.

However, YABU to be so judgmental about his exes from a few photos. They must have had qualities that he appreciated and just because you deem them to be a bit uncouth and not as demure and lovely as yourself doesn’t mean they weren’t lovely women.

Shitonthebloodything · 13/08/2018 19:10

Errrr, congrats on being better than them then OP...

ShirleyPhallus · 13/08/2018 19:10

I just think it's odd that they are so different to me! seems he went for a certain type - slutty, fat, loud, brash and classless and I, being slender, modest, discreet and the epitome of class - don't fit that type!

Sub-text sub-text sub-text

PortiaCastis · 13/08/2018 19:12

Oh well aren't you a good catch

Whatnextfred · 13/08/2018 19:14

Bet they were more fun though 🤣

Original poster
reallygah · 13/08/2018 19:14

I just think it's odd that they are so different to me! seems he went for a certain type - slutty, fat, loud, brash and classless and I, being slender, modest, discreet and the epitome of class - don't fit that type!

This is why I love AIBU Grin

OP posts:
Claw001 · 13/08/2018 19:14

🙄

Ibelieveinkarma · 13/08/2018 19:15

It seems like he lowered his standards when he got with you OP.

Original poster
reallygah · 13/08/2018 19:17

More fun? Possibly..... in fact probably!

OP posts:
Claw001 · 13/08/2018 19:29

Modest maybe?

Duchessgummybuns · 13/08/2018 19:43

Well I don’t think he’s with you for your personality Hmm

LeroyJenkins · 13/08/2018 19:48

slutty, fat, loud, brash and classless and I, being slender, modest, discreet and the epitome of class

nothing you have posted so far indicates you have any class at all?

Bonez · 13/08/2018 19:49

OP, you seem the type to stand in the corner of a club judging all the other girls enjoying themselves that you forget to enjoy yourself. Lighten up, hun.

Losingthewill1 · 13/08/2018 19:53

Wow .... I doubt he will last with you to be honest. You sound paranoid and insecure

PoesyCherish · 13/08/2018 19:53

YABVU. Your post is really judgemental. And people change. DP and I were both a lot thinner when we got together. Does that mean if we were to break up his future gf would be looking at me and thinking what a fat cow he used to be with?

I'm nothing like his exes, well the two I've had interactions with anyway and equally DP is nothing like mine. People become exes for all sorts of reasons. It doesn't make us or them any better or worse, just different.