To push through and not wait?

[ChortleFace88]

Crudely drawn diagram attached!

This has been on my mind and I’ve been wondering if I was BU. I’m currently heavily pregnant, achey, tired and grumpy which may be clouding my judgement!

A few days ago I went to an event. I ran to the loo during a break (pregnancy bladder problems), and had to walk through a very busy, narrow corridor to walk back afterwards. The left hand side of the corridor was completely made up of a queue of people waiting for the ladies loo, the right side was clear. The corridor was very narrow, only room comfortably for 2 people to be side by side.

I had almost reached the end of the corridor, I had walked quickly as it was so narrow. No one was behind me and a few feet ahead of me was a small alcove that was big enough for someone to wait in if there was a traffic jam. A man comes barging down, barges past me (shoving me into the wall) swiftly followed by several other men on their way to the gents. I’m getting shoved and pushed into the wall quite heavily by this point, as I said I’m heavily pregnant and can’t “suck it in” so there is nowhere for me to go. After the 5th-6th person barges past me, I think “fuck this, I’m sick of being barged past and shoved aside by men.” And loudly say “excuse me” and barge my own way out. A man at the top of the queue looks shocked as I make my way out, and makes a comment of “oh!” as if I am being rude.

So WIBU? I feel if I hadn’t been aggressive assertive, I’d have been shoved around that corridor like a pinball for several minutes. And if the first man had waited in the alcove for 2 seconds to let me pass, this whole thing would have been avoided as there was no one walking behind me.

I’ve also been reading a lot of articles recently about women being programmed to make way/make themselves “small” for men which resonate hard with me, so I think I was making a feminist point too. Why should I wait quietly and be pushed/shoved around because the important men can’t wait 5seconds more to go for a piss have somewhere they need to be?

So…WIBU to be a bit rude and shove my way through?

bump

Well done you! You did the right thing.

YANBU

Thank you! I didn’t think I was, but the disapproving man made me doubt myself.

Just seen the other thread about being pushed out of the way - it’s sad how rudeness is so common!

YANBU at all - and you’re absolutely right about women being programmed to make way for men. It’s actually amazing if you’re ever walking down a busy street and consciously decide not to move aside for men - far more often than not they will walk into you and then just seem baffled as to how it happened. It’s because they’re so used to women stepping aside for them that they don’t even think to do it.

He might not have been disapproving. His “oh!” Might have been shock/surprise that there was actually someone trying to come past as he may have thought the men before him had a clear path and not realised they were actually barging past you?

I've found a cheery 'excuse me!' combined with ploughing ahead regardless to be very effective in a crowded situation. You get where you're going with a veneer of politeness and it's hard for people to accuse you of being rude or pretend they haven't seen you.

However I'm not sure I'd have had the calmness or presence of mind to do that immediately after being repeatedly shoved into a wall. WTF is wrong with people?!

Rino that is a possibility, maybe my anger saw things that weren’t there!

I find standing still, square on, works better for avoiding being shoved. For some reason, it seems easier to "brush against" (shove) a moving person than deliberately shove an immovable object.

If you're used to moving around a crowded city, you very soon learn never to make eye-contact - if you haven't seen someone you can't be expected to make way for them, and the chances are they'll make way for you. Then you get a bit of brinkmanship, and if both of you are avoiding eye contact and keeping on a collision course, then the one who stands still gets to keep the path and he other one has to go round them.

I'd have said more than just excuse me if someone had barged me, especially if I was heavily pregnant!