To get sick of always being sensible with money, and just feel like going mad

[LardLizard]

Just so sick of being sensible all the time

Feel like justbgoijng mad and splashing out probably by booking an expensive holiday next year and then just freely spending money

Anyone else ever feel like this and what do you do to stop yourself

I’m the same I wish I could just let go and splash out
I save 75% of my wages, I feel guilty buying things/doing things because it’s a “waste of money”
I know I can’t take it with me when I go and I should enjoy now but I just can’t do it
If I want to buy a new dress or shoes I find an old one to sell on eBay to cover it so I do get new things all the time
But the saving has got silly, I’m so rigid in my savings plan, I’ve been poor (and I’m not rich now I earn £12k a year on minimum wage) so I worry about money all the time
Following the thread for advice!

Yes! Sometimes I want to just splash out but never go through with it! Eyeing up a lovely car, but know I will chicken out and play it safe!

Husband is like this and tbf, one of the reasons we are v.comfortable. I am a terrible saver but I suppose we balance each other out.

Can you afford it? Splurging using credit cards is fairly daft but using a portion of savings for a fabulous holiday is kind of the point of saving?

Bunnyrabbit - are you saving for something particular like a house deposit or a car? I am all having something tucked away for emergencies but 75% of your wages when you earn 12000 a year is a lot. Is this voluntary? Are you in a relationship with a higher earner? I just don't see his you would survive putting that percentage into savings.

OP if you are thinking about an expensive holiday, why not set up an account and direct debit a sum each month. You dont say if you are planning to go alone or with kids/family. If it is just you why not book a weekend break somewhere nice and they have some blow out money. If booking for a family, perhaps choose a week away as opposed to two weeks. Maybe an all inclusive (bit of a dirty phrase on here) so food, drink and everyday activities are taken care of. Then allocate some blow out money for one in a while trips/treats shopping.

Look at things you can sell. Gumtree is a great way to get rid of things. Ebay less so but is worth it. A single mum at nusery once handed out leaflets from last week of November saying 'Christmas shopping babysitting £20' she would pick the child up from nursery along with hers, take them hone feed them let them play and then she would bath them and get them into pyjamas. Loads took her up on it, as people went for work dos or shopping straight after work. She told me it paid for her christmas. Not suggesting you do exactly that but she mananged to make some extra cash by another means. We all need to let our hair down sometimes, the trick is to not be tearing it out afterwards through debt worry.

I am very similar in outlook.

One day I decided to go and buy a whole new load of makeup, instead of scrabbling round with the tiny stumps of eyeliner I was holding onto (because they work just as well as new ones, right?!)

I probably only spent about £30 tops, but it scratched the itch and got me stuff I more or less needed anyway, so win:win.

Can you find something similarly trivial which might help you shake off the feeling?

I'm like this, me and oh been saving for a house deposit for a few years and reached my target and then my head goes well you have reached that and then I put a bigger target to reach and it never ends!! I have direct debits going into different accounts to pay for xmas, birthdays, car maintenances etc, sell things I don't use/need, we needed to buy a family car (we had a three door small car) after birth of our second child and I couldn't even go with OH to pay for it I felt so sick about money going down!! My family was poor growing up so I do think it stems from that. I say to myself I'll go into the city n have a nice shopping spree n not worry about the money, then I get there and look at price tags and think I can't justify that price and end up with a few cheap tshirts and maybe one nice purchase!! I'm actually going to buy some ceiling lights today from dunelm and I have had them on my phone for weeks, refreshing the tab everyday to see if they got put into the sale 😂

No DH isn’t a high earner, around 24k so he pays most of the bills and our mortgage is just £160 a month, I give myself an allowance of £30 a week to spend on myself, I want to join the gym and start riding lessons again but I feel like it’s a “waste”
I don’t have a pension so I feel like I’m saving for retirement/illness or emergencies

It sounds like there isn't any very specific financial goal behind being sensible. I think you should set yourself specific targets, then you know what you are working towards and frugality will have an identifiable purpose. When your goals are met, and you have money on top, that is the time to start spending.

Goals could be things like no debts other than mortgage, a certain number of months/years essential spending saved, etc.

You do need some balance. On the one hand, I've always taken the view that I don't have spare money until I have enough saved to pay for all essentials for the rest of my life. On the other hand, I've still taken a holiday each year because if you don't, you never get that time back to enjoy.

So I think what I'm saying is that you do have to have some idea of what is an affordable luxury, within the overall context of your finances.

That awkward moment when you giggle something
And find your own thread ! 🙈

Google even

Same here,,one of the key lessons of the 2008 crash is that debt is nothing to fear. The whole world and this country runs on debt. I know we are not talking about getting into debt but there is a link .People like us save and be careful,sometimes denying ourselves stuff whilst all around us, people are spending up to the limit and then some more and having a whale of a time . They have big houses,big cars,big holidays,nights out etc etc,,a lot funded by debt. The economy helps them. We have nice low interest rates because the economy is flooded with lots of nice new money all created by HM Government and pushed out to be lent. We DARE NOT increase interest rates for fear of triggering a crash because everyone has gorged on that cheap credit and we fear mass defaults if rates rise.

Meanwhile all those who are having fun,gorging on debt are being bankrolled by the savers given a pittance via banks and building societies.

When the big crash comes,they will pay again,,but those who gorged will keep their big houses, may even get big fat compo via things like ppi,or worst case,they just go bankrupt and start all over again..

@Bunnyrabbitbinkyhouse get a LISA if under 40 and a SIPP.

Same! I am currently saving but now and then I think I just want to take a wad of cash out the savings and buy myself a new wardrobe, make up or whatever. I am yet to do it though. As a PP said, I see the price tag and think na can't justify it

I think there is a line though - you do need to do some things for yourself too, when you can afford to do so

Lardlizard you still not splashed out?

Nah, I was rubbish with money for years and years, so being sensible with it and no longer living in terror of bills is actually quite exciting in itself!

Since I had had control of my own money , I have kept a list of things I want to spend it on. I find it helps me to control impulses and makes sure that if I spend on what gives me the most pleasure. .

Just make a budget work out some spending money and stick to it

The canyon i think I’ve got a Serious midlife crisis on the horizon

Arnold the cat, yes I think that too, about the whole country being in debt and it stresses me out !!