AIBU to want to keep my family planning / not-planning plans to myself & my dh?

[oxymomon]

There are a myriad of reasons why people can't or don't have children. My husband and I have our reasons - some of which are medical, most of which are nobody's goddam business. We are now married nearly 6 years and I'm 40. Suddenly my mother-in-law is dropping all sort of hints... but she hasn't said it outright. But her hints are angry, e.g.

... on the topic of expense of mortgages, my MIL says: "do you think that's why some people are having ZERO or one children?" as she shoots me the DIRTIEST look

or

"A 3 bed house with just 2 people living in it?" ... cue dirty look

or

"so and so (friend / acquaintance of MIL) was showing me a video of her grandson / granddaughter .... new born and tiny ... a tiny newborn baby
... a baby ... their GRANDSON " ... cue DIRTY look

My MIL is a HUGE gossip. We feel our reasons are private and she has no right to pry. Is that unreasonable?

I should add:

1. When we first got married, she said "now, I know some grandmother's babysit but when you have children, I won't "

1. She had issues with depression when my dh was growing up and she used to beat him and his sister until she went treatment when my dh was 17

1. A few year's ago, she told my dh (i.e. her OWN son) that having children ruined her life

.... soo, I know she doesn't actually want grandchildren but rather the status .... all her friends are becoming grandparents and she feels left out that she doesn't have a photo of a bonnie grandchild to produce during afternoon tea and gossip.

I don't feel we owe her any explanation. My womb, fallopian tubes and all the rest are mine and private. Why should i give her an explanation?

But I get upset when she drops these huge hints and shoots me dirty looks.

I have to be careful . .. I can't give out to her as her health is fragile (the old battleaxe, ahem 'dear!).

AIBU to think that our family planning / no-longer-planning plans are nobody else's business other than ours?

No one is entitled to know anything about your private life. End of. If I were you I would inform my husband that it's time he helps his mother wind her neck in.

Agree with Aquamarine.

Nice deep breath in....and out!

Keep your cool OP.

My OH and I are not married (and not on the cards...would rather have a new kitchen than spend that money watching relatives get drunk tbh). But DM still persists in sending OH a ‘Son in Law’ card every year on his birthday - and yes she does it on purpose.

When we announced we were having a baby, almost every older member we told said they had ‘given up hope’. As if it’s their right to have a grand child.

I am constantly surprised by how badly our families have behaved towards us over both topics - including telling us our lives were ‘not fulfilled’ without children.

Seriously do whatever you want. Screw them. Be happy.

Breathe and ignore. I had to bollock my dm at one point, it is none of her damned business. Just smile sweetly at her comments ‘Yes, we like our nice spacious house’ etc. Just reinforce everything she says and smile.

Yeah, your DH needs to say something. AND make it absolutely clear that no only is it none of her business, but that he's an equal partner in any decisions made, so she must give him an equal share of the evil looks.