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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do I mention again to senior manager ?

14 replies

Smokeyair14 · 12/08/2018 20:27

Quick summary - a few weeks ago I had a problem with a junior member of staff who was extremely rude and cheeky to me
Said to my manger at the time who didn’t really take it on board and also mentioned to person above him in passing when I was talking about something completely different
I’m only in this job for another almost 5 months as it’s temporary and I’m now at a different location , but I just felt the way she spoke to me was so bad / cheekythat I wondered if I should mention it again
Or since I’m temporary and now in a different location in the company , should I just let it lie
It was a few weeks ago as I was on holiday for about a week in between

OP posts:
steff13 · 12/08/2018 20:33

So, a co-worker was rude to you, you told your manager, and he told someone above him, is that correct? Why would you bring it up again?

pigeondujour · 12/08/2018 20:35

You've mentioned it to two of your seniors already? I wouldn't mention it again. What would you be seeking to achieve?

TokyoSushi · 12/08/2018 20:37

If you're at a different location now and won't see the person again, I'm not sure what bringing it up again will achieve?

lionsgate18 · 12/08/2018 20:37

I have had that situation before and it backfired on me further down the line. I did mention it to my line manager at the time, but she didn't take much notice as the individual was well liked. It was directly related to them not getting as much of a pay rise as they had wanted.

I regret not putting it in writing to my manager and keeping a record of that email. I basically overlooked it. Big mistake. I would never do that again.

It turns out that the person who was cheeky to me really quite actively disliked me. They kept this quite close to their chest through. I tried really hard to be a good manager to this person - but it was quite a one way street. I got little feedback re if they were happy, what was and wasn't working for them about the role. Although they were likes by colleagues, they were quite a closed off person. They also weren't actively able to engage in their management as a two way process (hope that phrase makes sense).

This person resigned a few months later as they'd lined up another job with more pay, but when they left they resigned to my manager and through a lot of really quite random and exaggerated complaints my way. I believe they held me responsible for them not getting the pay rise they wanted - by really understanding how hard I fought for them, but ultimately it was out of my hands.

LadyDuplo · 12/08/2018 20:43

What are you hoping to achieve?

Smokeyair14 · 12/08/2018 20:53

Sorry I meant that I mentioned to the person above him in passing
So from the first replies , the feeling is that I should let it lie
I was just really upset about it , more so at the time, as I couldn’t believe the way she had spoken to me
But , as from the replies , I guess it wouldn’t achieve much Just still think how bad it was , that’s why it was on my mind

OP posts:
Glumglowworm · 12/08/2018 21:01

You’ve already told your manager and your managers manager.

You’re no longer working with this person anyway.

Let it go. You'll come across as extremely petty if you keep going on about it. What do you want/expect to happen? You wouldn’t necessarily know if anything was done especially as you’re now working in a new location.

steff13 · 12/08/2018 21:03

What do you want the outcome to be? Do you know for certain it hasn't already been addressed with the person?

Smokeyair14 · 12/08/2018 21:09

Thanks glumglow - good practical advice
Steff13 - my manager did speak to the person but when I spoke to him afterwards, he said he could only take her word for what happened
ie it was her word against mine! ie no help

OP posts:
MaxStirn · 12/08/2018 23:32

@Smokeyair14 - you sound like one of those sickening creeps that snitches to management everytime someone says something you don't like.

Smokeyair14 · 12/08/2018 23:35

Max - you didn’t hear what happened so you shouldn’t jump to such conclusion

OP posts:
SofiaAmes · 12/08/2018 23:35

What is your goal? Are you worried that this person will do it to someone else in a more significant way? Perhaps if you said what was actually said to you, sounder advice could be given.

Katescurios · 12/08/2018 23:38

You should have addressed it there and then, politely and professionally.

You say this person was in a junior role to you so why accept it and then tattle.

I would have taken them aside, explai ned they were being unprofessional and then informed their manager of the conversation as a courtesy but not because i expected them to act for me.

Fatted · 12/08/2018 23:40

If nothing further has happened, then I don't really see what you hope to achieve by raising at again. Unless you think your manager hasn't followed a particular process you believe they should have done?

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