womens refuge what are they like?

[allgoodinthehood]

Sorry for posting this here for traffic. A close friend with her two young children is hoping that the council will house her.
She realises that she will probably have to be put in a refuge first but we have know idea what it will be like.

Sorry to sound daft - but do you mean she's fleeing domestic abuse?

Yes .

I think they can really vary according to where they are to be honest. I've not used one as an adult but my mum was in with with me when I was 3 and it was fine. At the core of it she needed it or she would be dead.

Mum later worked in them and never reported any real problems. Only one incidence of a problem in the 8 years she was there (one mum was drug user and was caught using, she was evicted because they had to prioritise others safety)

A friend was in refuge for a while. She made some lovely friends. This was in inner city (Birmingham).
Wishing your friend the best

I used to live in one as a child for two years had loads of fun massive house with loads of other kids to play with and huge garden a charity

Kids out used to take us for the summer however my birth mother found it very stressful she had nothing but our clothing they gave her a self in the fridge and a fridge freezer and had a time slot for cooking she wouldn’t have friends over or go out past 8 and couldn’t tell anyone we’re we lived

I was in one 5 years ago, it was 2 large terraced houses knocked together, you has your room with a TV and wash basin, there were two bathrooms, two kitchens, a big play room and a garden. And the office for staff. Basic but good.
In another city this year a friend of mine was in a much nicer one, they had a self contained flat each with the staff rooms downstairs.
I think it depends where they send you. However if your friend needs to go into one, there's nothing to worry about, the staff are great and help with everything and most of all you're completely safe.

Thanks for the positive replies it's just the unknown.

I was in a refuge in 2009 I got housed. They stopped giving women houses from refuges in 2011.
Your friend will go into a refuge but will not have a secured tenancy she will get a flat the council rents off a landlord.

You cant have visitors
Cant have Cabs or anything delivered to the house
It is all shared and it's okay the kitchen can be dirty and bathroom because you are sharing with others besides that it's fine

My friend was in one about 6 years ago. Hers was a self contained flat in a secure building with the office at the main door. No adult male visitors. The staff were great and supportive.

I work for a domestic abuse service.

In lots of areas now refuge is provided by housing associations. That means you are given a small house or flat and the traditional shared houses are closing although plenty do still exist.

There are pros and cons (we are a charity and operate both types) The single properties tend to be quite modern and nice and there isn't the issue of other people's mess / disagreements etc. On the other hand the single properties can be isolating if you are feeling low and there won't be staff on hand to help.

The shared property we operate is a specialist refuge for women with more complex needs so may not be representative. To me it's a bit like a big student house . You need to tolerate other people's mess. Sometimes there are arguments about washing up. Women have made friends for life in there and lots resettle in our local town.

What pp said about not having friends over is obviously true for everyone's safety. You also need to be very careful about using social media e.g. location settings etc.

Good luck to your friend.