Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Its a zebra crossing for goodness sake!!!!!!

32 replies

MadamePlatypus · 03/06/2007 10:40

Crossing zebra crossing with DS and DD. Suddenly become aware of arsey man in car waiting at crossing shouting at me "THANK YOU! no wonder kids are growing up ignorant!". Now I know I am not being unreasonable - I do not have to thank drivers for deigning to stop at a zebra crossing - I might if I feel like it, but if I don't I won't, particularly if I am concentrating on getting my children across the road. Anyway, he drove off too quickly for me to argue with him, so I am venting here - hmmph.

Meanwhile, was in Richmond Park yesterday (road goes through park) when an arsey woman beeped at a family for being too slow crossing the road on their bikes (a cycle path crosses the road). So I am also venting on the family's behalf. Hmph!

Thanks, I feel better now.

OP posts:
flightattendant · 03/06/2007 10:44

God. this makes me furious too .

YANBU at all, there is a crossing just by where we live, and seriously about 9 times out of 10, drivers will simply not stop when you are stood waiting, or even starting to cross.

I usually try to raise a hand in thanks, but when you have a Ds being silly you can't always do that.

I used to feel guilty about not always thanking the drivers who stop, (still do actually) but when you think how often WE pedestrians wait at the side of a road for hours, waiting for a break in the traffic...nobody thanks us for that, do they?

elkiedee · 03/06/2007 10:45

He's the one who has grown up ignorant. What do all these car drivers think they're in such a rush for?

ScummyMummy · 03/06/2007 10:45

He sounds like a prize bananahead, MP. I hate car drivers who think they're doing you a favour by following the highway code. It's not supposed to be an optional act of good will to stop at a zebra crossing.

juuule · 03/06/2007 10:46

I think it's only polite to thank drivers for stopping while you cross the road. Also at a zebra crossing the drivers don't have to stop
"19: Zebra crossings. Give traffic plenty of time to see you and to stop before you start to cross. Vehicles will need more time when the road is slippery. Remember that traffic does not have to stop until someone has moved onto the crossing. Wait until traffic has stopped from both directions or the road is clear before crossing. Keep looking both ways, and listening, in case a driver or rider has not seen you and attempts to overtake a vehicle that has stopped."
From the Highway Code www.highwaycode.gov.uk/01.htm
But like you I would be annoyed and consider it impolite of the drivers if they started shouting at me or beeping

foxinsocks · 03/06/2007 10:50

I think leaning out the car and asking people crossing to thank you is just appalling grumpy git behaviour.

This has happened several times to me (often cabbies grrr) although sometimes I do lift a hand to sort of wave thanks if I can be arsed.

I was witness to a 4 car bashing in Richmond yesterday (no-one injured) where some bloke was weaving in and out of the traffic and eventually (not surprising at all, I was behind him in the traffic and giving him a wide berth) he crashed into someone (who then hit the guy in front etc. etc.). I got out to give my statement and the bloke who caused the accident gave everyone his details and then buggered off. He didn't even apologise - he really didn't give a shit at all!

Furrymummy · 03/06/2007 10:52

I don't expect to be thanked if i stop at a crossing. When I approach one, I slow a little and check for people about to cross.
I would also not wave anyone across either - a car coming the other way might not see them....

deepinlaundry · 03/06/2007 10:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

deepinlaundry · 03/06/2007 10:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

foxinsocks · 03/06/2007 10:55

reading that back, it makes it sound like he was pissed and trying to leave before the police arrived but actually, one of the cars involved in the accident belonged to a policeman (you know it's not your day when that happens!).

Wotz · 03/06/2007 10:58

I do sometimes give a little wave as a thank you, but you can't remember all the time and I don't expect others to do it back.

I do wave if I am frog marching a group of school children out on a school trip....and I stand in the road like a wind turbine swinging my arms in a forward motion!

I think it is rude that the driver was sarcastic and shouted to you, especially infront of your dcs. What did he hope to achieve?

ScummyMummy · 03/06/2007 10:58

171: Zebra crossings. As you approach a zebra crossing

  • look out for people waiting to cross and be ready to slow down or stop to let them cross
  • you MUST give way when someone has moved onto a crossing
  • allow more time for stopping on wet or icy roads
  • do not wave people across; this could be dangerous if another vehicle is approaching
  • be aware of pedestrians approaching from the side of the crossing. Law ZPPPCR reg 25

I think that implies an obligation to look out for pedestrians and stop.

Furrymummy · 03/06/2007 11:00

ScummyMummy - absolutely. Which is what I do. So the OP is not unreasonable.

MadamePlatypus · 03/06/2007 11:05

But I had moved onto the crossing, so he did have to stop - rules for drivers:

171: Zebra crossings. As you approach a zebra crossing

  • look out for people waiting to cross and be ready to slow down or stop to let them cross
  • you MUST give way when someone has moved onto a crossing (must is in red)
  • allow more time for stopping on wet or icy roads
  • do not wave people across; this could be dangerous if another vehicle is approaching
  • be aware of pedestrians approaching from the side of the crossing.

I agree that its nice to say thank you, just not necessary in the same way as it is necessary to thank the lady in the shop for change. Its more in the category of saying hello to your neighbours.

Anyway, maybe he wasn't shouting at me at all. Maybe he was listening to a debate on the pros and cons of phonics on the radio

OP posts:
Wotz · 03/06/2007 11:11

I don't move onto a crossing until the driver has slowed down or stopped or indicated that they will be stopping, in both directions.

KerryMum · 03/06/2007 11:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Furrymummy · 03/06/2007 11:24

Very sensible KerryMum.
However, if someone was waiting at a crossing and I had some Barryboy up my rear end, I would be inclined not to stop for fear of said Barryboy driving into the back of my car. Happily this is a rare occurance.
If there was someone crossing then I would have to stop because the Highway Code says that I must.
The Highway code says that drivers need to avoid harsh braking and accelarating as a driver behind may not have sufficient time to react accordingly and therefore could cause an accident, which is why the Highway Code says that you only must stop when someone is on the crossing (even if it just a foot!). This is also because (especially on a busy street) it is much easier to spot a person who is on the crossing or just stepping onto the crossing than it is to spot someone who is standing on the pavement waiting to cross (especially when you have idiots who think that the "no parking next to a zebra crossing" couldn't possibly apply to them).
Which is why I slow down on approach to give pedestrians who may wish to cross time to step onto the crossing and for me to come to a complete stop in a safe manner, but also so that I don't impede traffic flow or cause undue alarm to the person behind me if there isn't.

wheresthehamster · 03/06/2007 11:25

I don't expect people to thank me, although it's nice, but I always nod or smile at a driver who stops for us.

KerryMum · 03/06/2007 11:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsWho · 03/06/2007 11:55

And what about the people who don't stop at pedestrian crssings and the traffic lights are on red we had that the other day and the bloke just missed us

evenhope · 03/06/2007 12:39

ooh Mrs Who, we had that happen the other day. Not one but three cars went through on red. Luckily DH was behind me with the pram

binker · 03/06/2007 12:44

I don't usually acknowledge drivers at lights or zebras when crossing but as a driver go absolutely mad if people don't just put a hand up in thanks when crossing at non-crossings...

emsiewill · 03/06/2007 12:47

I drive past a school on my way to work. Outside it there is a pedestrian crossing, with a lollipop man. It's the sort that doesn't have flashing amber, just the normal traffic light sequence (ie green, amber, red, red/amber, green etc etc). It's amazing how many people go through the lights when they are still on red, just because the lollipop man has crossed the people over, and there's no one else crossing. It's as though they can't see the red light.

He always looks intently at the car, so I hope he is noting the registration and reports them all, stupid idiots...

Ripeberry · 03/06/2007 13:36

Abroad is the worst as most drivers there will speed UP if they see someone crossing and they will beep all the time.
I just kick their cars at they go by and shout through their window if its open .
Ohh i'm in a mood today!
AB

Lovecat · 03/06/2007 18:14

Why do people feel they have to wave to say thank you? I always make eye contact wiht the driver, nod and mouth 'thank you' at them, whilst both hands are occupied manhandling dd across the road.

If nothing else, it teaches dd good manners too... wouldn't dream of not thanking someone for stopping for me.

juuule · 03/06/2007 18:18

Yep - that's what I do,Lovecat

Swipe left for the next trending thread