And has been for the entire four years since I saw through the fog, by the power of mumsnet, and realised just how controlling and abusive he was, saw through all the gaslighting.
I left with our 5 children, three of whom are autistic and am proud of myself for rebuilding our lives.
But he has been using contact with the kids to control me ever since.
He started by insisting on only seeing them in my home, until one day I put a stop to it. He then insisted on using my car until I came to my senses. He would then bring them back to the house, when he had them, around every hour to wash their hands or visit the toilet etc. I stopped opening the door. He now sees them for a few hours on a Saturday, which doesn't always happen because he tries to arrange it last minute on a Saturday morning for ridiculous times - usually very late after dinner until even later. So I always refuse because the kids are tired .
Last Saturday he managed to see them from 2pm until 6. I went out, saw a friend, and ran a few errands while he had them, and returned home at 5.30pm. He started texting me at 5pm asking where I was, I told him I would be home soon. He was waiting at my door when I got back, kept asking me where I had been, and saying that I was making him late for a client.
Since then he has been asking me when I go, who am I seeing, etc. almost every day. He has called me immoral, and has taken to just turning up at my door if I don't answer his texts I did text him that I don't want him to just show up at my door, and that I won't answer the door in future. He thinks it is amusing that I find his behaviour difficult to handle, and told me that my 'communication isn't clear', and I should 'learn to communicate'. And that I'm stupid, that I will never win, that I don't know the difference between right and wrong since I'm an atheist, etc.
He has also insulted my appearance, saying I'm too skinny and ugly, that I 'look old' and battered.
Is this harassment? Could I make a complaint to the police? Would they take me seriously?