To ask how long your divorce took?

[PerverseConverse]

I've had the decree nisi for 5 years and my stbexh has been delaying the financial settlement since then by failing to respond, failing to provide documents, failing to follow correct court procedure, and generally being obstructive. He says he wants to get remarried to his gf (OW) but this doesn't seem very likely given his delaying tactics. (He doesn't have a solicitor which doesn't help).

How long did your divorce take?

1 year

1 year, even with him being obstructive (although my son and I did need to move in with my sister for 6 weeks and nearly lost the house we were buying as he refused to sign the paperwork detailing the money split)

18 months. Would have been a bit quicker (we didn;t have young children or majpr finances to consider) if he had been less arsey and uncooperative. He didn't have a solicitor either - and told me I wasn't 'allowed' to have one or he'd make sure things turned very very nasty ! Things speeded up when his girlfriend ditched him and he gave up trying to get hold of an inheritance I had received from my Dad (after Dh left me - but his GF thought he was entitled to half) and he gave up trying to get me to pay half of his gambling debts.

My solicitors were a bit crap to be honest (and they kept changing who was in charge of my case)

My solicitors sent my XH a letter saying he had to provide financial info by a certain date (threatened him with court I think but I can;t remeber exactly) Can your solicitor suggest anything to make your XH hurry up ?

About 4 months.

14 weeks - I counted every fucking day! To be fair we had been separated a few weeks before I filed citing unreasonable behaviour armed with a police report. He could have challenged it I guess but he was frightened I'd follow through with the police and press charges so didn't.

I thought the financial settlement was handled separately from the divorce itself, is this wrong?

I've got all this to look forward to in the near future, except I'm not expecting to get a penny out of my financially abusive ex. I have to pay all the divorce costs myself. :(

@Agustarella are you eligible for legal aid due to abuse? Worth finding out.

@PerverseConverse It wasn't really physical so probably not. It would also be my word against his, and he's tried to rewrite history so that he's the martyr. Basically he has withdrawn all co-operation and I'm expected to do everything and pay for it too. I don't even have his address, just his parents'. (Which I had anyway as DS once visited them). XH is living abroad in his country of origin.

Sorry for the thread derailing. I may have to start my own as it's a knotty situation, not the same as the OP's though.

@Agustarella it's still abuse and you don't have to prove anything at all.

Thanks @PerverseConverse. It sounds like I have some googling to do, and it would be hugely helpful if I could get legal aid. It seems like the cheap DIY option isn't available when the defendant is abroad.

Best of luck with your divorce. Have you tried talking to the OW? Understandable if you don't want to, but she might be able to exert some pressure on XH. I know my ex only shows an interest in divorce when the girlfriend of the moment is pushing for a commitment.

@Agustarella I'm sure one of them does t actually want to get married hence the delay

After 5 years you don't need his consent .

Yes indeed @PerverseConverse!

He's consented, he's just dragging things on deliberately. The judge won't issue the absolute without the finances sorted.

We separated in May 2015, got the decree nisi in March 2016 and the financial order was submitted to court three weeks ago. Our local family court will take about two months to process the order then once that's sorted it will be about another two weeks to get the decree absolut. So divorced by October 2018 I hope which is 3 years 5 months. I am cracking open some fizz when my absolut comes through!

Delays were because my ex liked to rant, ignore, delay. We ended up at mediation which did help but it has still taken over a year to get from our last mediation session to this point.

I am so sorry for your five year wait OP. It is truly awful and so frustrating having to wait so long.

We filed in December and it was completely finalised in August.
Ours was very simple and completely amicable though.

7 months - we lived together throughout and that was through to court sealed financial consent order, property and mortgage transfers and decree absolute.

Agus, most people do not want the decree absolute until all the finances are approved by the court otherwise even 10 years later one of you could come back after the other for money so it is best to settle it all at once.

Two years

2.5 years. Xh went out of his way to be difficult at every turn. He wasn’t even arguing about the financial settlement, he tried to argue against standard boilerplate legal language.

Stbxh left June 2017. Degree nisi came November 2017. Financial order was denied by the Judge. If it had been agreed then it would have been approximately a year to the day.

As it is the new financial order has been sent to court and so I'm waiting on that now.

Did anybody get a decent settlement?

Mine took the best part of 4 years. He left for OW, wanted the divorce and then did everything he could to delay it! I got a great settlement though - 90% house equity and approx 250k of his pensions. Clean break, 20+ year marriage, both in our 50s, kids grown up. He was a high earner, I’m not.

2.5 years because my asshole of an ex wouldn't reply to any of my lawyer's letters, he didn't want the divorce even though he left me for another woman. It took the threat of court before he signed the papers. I got the house and a financial settlement.

This gives me hope!

Did all the paperwork myself with a free half hour with a solicitor. Started in and June and the decree absolute came through end of November