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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Can’t stop thinking about this

74 replies

Apple0301 · 09/08/2018 22:57

To cut a long story short, me and my 4 year old daughter had an accident at the funfair tonight. Luckily my daughter escaped unharmed but I suffered cuts and bruises.
Even though we are home and safe I can’t get over is how lucky we were that my daughter wasn’t seriously hurt.
I can’t stop replaying the accident in my head, picturing the panic on my daughters face, seeing it unfold over and over again.
Its made me feel really on edge, teary and panicky.
I know i should just except we were lucky this time but I can’t rest. I’m a mess :(

OP posts:

Justgettothepoint · 10/08/2018 00:04

Write the details down get dh to do the same while it's still fresh. This will also help you get it out of yr head/ be cathartic. Take photos of cuts etc and torn trousers. Sleep on it and decide another day what to do. Sounds like an awful experience and prob delayed shock kicking in like others have said. Yr dd wasn't hurt she's ok just think what you'd be feeling like now if she wasn't. Put it to one side for now and be thankful she's ok.

Original poster

Apple0301 · 10/08/2018 00:04

Thank you. I will do. I have the flyer and a copy of the accident page I compeleted so I will be on this tomorrow
Thanks for your help

OP posts:

mrsjackrussell · 10/08/2018 00:05

That's great you have a copy. Hope you feel better tomorrow.

BreatheSlower · 10/08/2018 00:05

So sorry to hear this happened. It might help to read a little about post traumatic stress disorder. I had that after a similarly shocking time and reading about it helped me to understand what was going on.

I do think you should definitely report it. It might happen again otherwise.

I wouldn't go on another ride until your mind has had time to recover. There's only so much it can think about at one time.

User912 · 10/08/2018 00:11

I'm so sorry this happened to you and your children

Please DO look up about post traumatic stress disorder. Unfortunately I suffered from this (PTSD with delayed onset), and it was a hard road - it started with the looping and replaying of the incident. This happens to everyone in shock immediately after an incident, but if doesn't start to settle after a little while, it could well be the beginnings of PTSD.

Bowerbird5 · 10/08/2018 00:13

I'm so sorry that you and your family have had this horrible experience. It must have been very traumatic for both children and your husband when you were flung off.

I think you should also report it.

You may get flashbacks for a little while I have had them with accidents but it is sometimes part of the recovery. I also think you should get checked over at the very least by your GP. You may find you neck aches tomorrow. The adrenaline masks it.

Penggwn I drove home once after I had been hit by a vehicle. I couldn't think of another way to get home as I live rurally. It is surprising what you do when in shock. My GP said I would have been quite safe as the brain and adrenaline takes over and that is some people can lift cars off others.

Original poster

Apple0301 · 10/08/2018 00:21

Thank you all, I will make sure to watch out for signs on my flashbacks lasting too long and any warning signs as you have all discussed x

OP posts:

Fang2468 · 10/08/2018 00:22

How awful for you all, I’m afraid I don’t have anything helpful to say, but I think you should report it. Un-mumsnetty gentle hugs for you all

FaultySpice · 10/08/2018 00:26

Gosh that's horrific OP, made me feel sick just reading it. I'm not surprised you can't stop thinking about it. I hope you manage to get some rest tonight

ItWasAlIADream · 10/08/2018 00:30

I remember last year taking my two kids to the funfair, they wanted to go on the helter skelter but when they got to the top they both refused to go down and started crying/gettibg distressed. they wouldnt come down the stairs either despite me calling for them to. I was 8 months pregnant and the stairs were so narrow and tiny there was no way I could get up. They fair ground people just stood there ignoring them. I had to beg one of them to go up to help them! Horrible experience.

SeaToSki · 10/08/2018 00:40

I dont have formal training in this, but I did read a helpful about dealing with shocking experiences (of all types). The recommendations were to reiterate to yourself that you survived it, through your actions you and your daughter made it through (relatively) unscathed.

When you talk to your daughters about it tomorrow, acknowledge the scary and the out of control, but then transition to the survived and success.....well you were so sensible and kept your head down, and you (elder dd) were sensible and sat still and Mummy made a fuss and got their attention so they stopped the ride, and Daddy picked you up and hugged you. Didnt we all handle it so well. And next time we shall know to not trust the ride operators unless we can see exactly what they are doing ourselves, and we will ask them - even if people think we are too cautious, because we know what can happen and now we are armed with that knowledge, so we are survivors etc etc.

LuluJakey1 · 10/08/2018 08:16

What an awful thing to happen to you and your family. I hope you are feeling a bit better but I think you should expect to feel shakey and emotional for a good few days. Things like this have after-effects that we don't realise until they happen.

I had a horrible accident last year. I wasn't seriously hurt but it was totally out of the blue, very shocking, painful and really frightened me. I ended up at hospital being checked-no lasting damage,small fracture and lots of bruising. It was the nature of it that shook me so much. I cried several times in the next few days -am not a crier- and would just feel overwhelmed by it and very vulnerable and my head was full of what ifs. It ran like a film in my head for months.

What happened to you sounds very traumatic and as well as reporting it to the police, you should see your GP- for yourself but also so they have a log and it shows how shaken you were and how it has affected you. Please don't think you would be wasting their time. Make sure you record that you went in your statement.

You and your daughter could have been killed or seriously injured. You are doing the right thing in reporting this- other children and adults are using that ride and at risk of the same or worse happening.

Forevername · 10/08/2018 08:28

Why the fuck are they starting the ride before checking that everyone is properly on it?! Irresponsible wankers! Please report them.

QueenDoria · 10/08/2018 09:16

Hope you've had a good night sleep OP and that you're going to chase this up...

Original poster

Apple0301 · 10/08/2018 09:48

I feel very stiff and achy this morning, didn’t drift off until after 3am. The cut of my knee is very woozy this morning and doesn’t look too good so I am definitely going to get an appointment at the doctors to be checked over and then report it to the police.
The fair was a different area to where we live so unsure do I report it to their local police or mine?

OP posts:

SeaToSki · 10/08/2018 10:40

Make sure your tetanus is up to date. Hope you feel more settled soon

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 10/08/2018 10:56

This doesn't just happen at pop up fairs. At Chessington 20 years ago, DS1 and I were getting on the Vampire, DS1 was a bit slow and the ride started moving off before he was sitting down, I yanked his arm and had to punch the overhead harness down. No one was checking the ride. It's one that hangs down from the rails. If the harness hadn't closed properly, he would have plummeted to his death. I hope they have better checks now.

PseudoBadger · 10/08/2018 11:03

Focus on reporting to the HSE rather than the police. webcommunities.hse.gov.uk/connect.ti/concernsform/answerQuestionnaire?qid=594147

ChocolateDoll · 10/08/2018 11:17

I can assure you, that pop up fairs are in no way as safe as somewhere like Disney World.

The rides are NOT rigorously tested every single time they are taken down and put back up.

And, I don’t want to get myself banned from here, but look at the type of people who run these places. They don’t have much regard for any other laws! I’m not sure why anyone thinks they’d have a different attitude to health & safety

Cuppaorwine · 10/08/2018 11:26

Hi op,

First of all it’s a bugger isn’t it.

My dd and her friends were involved in s horrific accident on s School trip. 7 years ago. Many of the children including dd were badly injured and there was a fatality.

Unfortunately the feelings you have now will never really leave you and you may be like me very anxious about life and especially about your children for a long long time. If your feelings continue and threaten to overwhelm you please get some professional counselling. It really does help.

I had the guilt of not being there for my dd but your horror or being there must be horrific.

If you need any help or advice pm me. Anytime xxx

Original poster

Apple0301 · 10/08/2018 11:34

So sorry to hear that cuppaorwine that is so awful. Glad your DD is ok. Thank you for your advice.
I am still in a lot of pain with my neck and back today. Typical as we go camping to Devon on Sunday and have 5 days on a blow up mattress just going to make sure I dose up and take meds with me.
I have different feelings now towards pop up fairs and to be honest probably won’t take my girls to another one again.
I will be more aware and anxious whenever they go on a ride now (we are going to legoland for the twins birthday treat) but I feel more comfortable with places like that then these pop up ones. At one point on the fair last night, one member of staff was manning two rides should have walked then to be honest but the excitement and happiness on the girls faces ruled my head. That won’t be happening again.

OP posts:

Ahardmanisgoodtofind · 10/08/2018 11:48

Please ring your go/ooh and get a once over if you're still having pain. Will also help to have it recorded if/when you decide to report it. I was in shock after an incident a couple of years ago, it took about 36 hours for me to realise I had actually been quite badly injured.
I had two serious "accidents" on fair ground rides as a teen due to negligence but at the time was dismissed as a dramatic teen. The same fair was shut down on its return the following year when a small child ended up with life changing injuries.

Ahardmanisgoodtofind · 10/08/2018 11:48

Posted too soon, I hope you and your dad's are ok!

CallingDannyBoy · 10/08/2018 12:02

Please contact HSE as it is a serious incident you were both lucky to walk away from it. Their attitude after the event tells you all you need to know - intimidating, denial, shifting the blame, not investigating and starting the ride up immediately.

I hope you are both feeling as ok as you can be. Take your time in adjusting to it.

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