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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be upset at DD's nursery?

16 replies

pinkblonde311 · 09/08/2018 21:42

DD has been at this nursery for about 5 months now.

I went to collect her today, about an hour earlier than usual.

Nursery nurse A said she was outside. I went to the garden. Nursery nurse B said no, she's inside. I went back inside and nursery nurse A said "oh unless she's in the toilet? She must be in the toilet"

Go to the toilet and there's DD, sat on the floor crying because she can't get her trousers on (she was given her spare trousers to put on as the ones she was wearing were wet).

I put her trousers on and took her out. Nursery nurse A said "I've only just come into this room as nursery nurse C has just left" (this is true as I bumped into nursery nurse C on my way in)

AIBU in thinking they should bloody well know where DD is?!!! She's only just turned 3!!!!

I felt like they "found" her by process of elimination, ie. she's not in the room or the garden so must be in the toilet. Surely nurse C should have said "I'm going home now, there are x children in here, x outside and x in the toilet"

I have no idea how long she was sat there sobbing and it breaks my heart!!!

DD generally enjoys nursery though she still cries at drop off which is concerning.

AIBU to complain and change DD to another nursery?

OP posts:
pacempercutiens · 09/08/2018 22:03

YANBU, i don't think it's right that they didn't know where she was or that she was left alone that long

PumpkinPie2016 · 09/08/2018 22:14

YANBU at all - I would be complaining to the manager and looking for a new nursery tbh.

Of course they should know where the children are at all times and they should be supervising the bathrooms and making sure the children are ok not just leaving them to it.

kernowsailor · 09/08/2018 22:14

No real experience but that simply doesn't sound right to me. Anything could have happened to her as she wasn't only unsupervised but no one seemed to know where she was (and so presumably wouldn't have noticed if something had happened and she hadn't come back).

Hugs OP that must have been heartbreaking.

Happygummibear · 09/08/2018 22:19

Yanbu. I would change nursery.

I only have a few months experience of nursery with my lo who is nearly 1. But during the settling sessions I witnessed staff supervising all children to the toilets and having set ways of doing things so children are not left on their own.

I would investigate other nurserys and ask for recommendations

Tatiebee · 09/08/2018 22:19

According to the EYFS children must always be within sight and/or hearing of tbeir caregiver at all times. YANBU, they should have been aware of exactly where she was.

Phoenix76 · 09/08/2018 22:23

I would also be looking at other nurseries. Our nursery would never allow children unsupervised in the toilets. I suspect your instinct is telling you to take her out, go with it!

smerlin · 09/08/2018 22:23

Agreed with pp- my DD's nursery always know which child is where and supervise going to the toilet, even when they are old enough to actually sort themselves out.

Katjolo · 09/08/2018 22:26

Complain to the manager and withdraw her from the nursery. Doesn't sound like the best practice from the nursery.

Haworthia · 09/08/2018 22:27

It’s not on that a just turned three year old is left to manage their own toileting unsupervised (or at least not be within sight/earshot of a member of staff, surely? Not to mention having to struggle with trousers.

My son is the same age and couldn’t do it (well, he isn’t out of nappies yet). DD at the same age couldn’t either.

TheDarkPassenger · 09/08/2018 22:31

I’m quite lenient and this would upset me a lot. In fact I’d be quite furious

Nicknacky · 09/08/2018 22:34

I had a similar situation and it was a tiny nursery with no excuse. I removed her for that and other reasons although we did go back a year later but she was a year older and I was more confident in the place by then.

Complain.

Katinkka · 09/08/2018 22:34

I’d be livid.

curlywurlyupsydaisy · 09/08/2018 22:34

Aw op :-( Where has she been previously to this op? Has she been at home with you?

ohtheholidays · 09/08/2018 22:48

I used to work in Nurserys,1 was private and the other 2 weren't and that is awful.

They're still so young and so small at that age,I'd make a complaint OP because that really shouldn't be happening especially with 3 members of staff.

Maliali · 09/08/2018 22:51

How horrible but I’m glad you did see this as can now make a decision based on this revelation. I worked as a supply TA throughtout nursery and KS1 and don’t think it’s acceptable that an under 3 is unsupervised in the loo. Many children of this age can’t easily pull their clothes down and up again or manage to wipe themselves adequately especially after a poo. Most would not remember about hand washing either. They’re barely out of nappies at this age and need help and encouragement not being left to try sort themselves out.

MynameisJune · 09/08/2018 22:59

I’d be pretty upset at this and I’m quite laid back but I’d be heartbroken if I found my daughter on the floor crying because she couldn’t get her trousers up.

DD is 2.8 and has been at Nursery since she was 11 months. When I pick her up even the staff that aren’t in her room know where she is, and I’m usually one of the first to pick up so it’s not because there’s only a few left. They are always supervised in the toilets as well.

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