To be a little worried about my friend?

[SoKissMeHard]

Not sure how to articulate this.

Someone I know died by suicide fairly recently. I didn’t know him well but it shocked me. I think about him often. I noticed that he often posted things on social media about male suicide rates and mental health stuff and I feel now that it was all part of it. It makes me sad.

I have an old friend of many years who I haven’t seen in a long time but will very occasionally get in touch on Facebook to say hi, like photos of each other’s kids etc. I know he’s had a hard time recently.

Anyway. He has posted three things on Facebook this week about male suicide awareness and mental health. I know it sounds really silly but I just have a bit of a knot in my stomach over it.

I accept that I’m probably just overreacting because I’m switched onto this and sensitive to it just now. He could be posting this stuff for any number of reasons. DH said “if you’re worried why don’t you send him a message or something?” But what on Earth would I say? It would be random for me to just message him out of the blue I think.

He has a lovely wife but I don’t really know her. As far as I know they are happy and hopefully if he is struggling they are dealing with it.

I agree, message him if you think he might need a friend. Why would it be random? You ARE friends aren't you? I have friends I haven't seen or spoken to in years but whom I would message and ask if they are ok if I saw something on their facebook that made me worry. I'm having a pretty hard time myself at the moment, am actively suicidal and a message from an old friend would probably make my day. A big issue with depression is thinking no one cares or can be bothered with you. People either don't care enough to notice you struggling or they notice but don't care enough to do anything about it.

I once likened it to when you pass roadkill on the street. People think Oh poor thing but they don't care enough to stop and check if it's alive or try to help it or sometimes they just don't even register it. My poor therapist didn't know whether or laugh or cry at that analogy but I think it's quite apt.

If you care, then show it. Would you rather be sending a PM to a friend or flowers to a funeral? If you're wrong and he's just posting because its a topic he feels strongly about then at least he knows you care and will probably be quite pleased that some of his friends aren't just scrolling past.

I agree with @didyouseetheflaresinthesky - send him a message and see how he is.

I'm so sorry you're feeling so bad, @didyouseetheflaresinthesky - I hope this passes very soon and you have the support of your therapist to heal.

Don’t panic yourself unduly, there’s a big drive at the moment for male mental health, and a Facebook copy and paste thing going around. So hopefully he is trying to raise awareness and is doing ok himself. That said it never hurts to get in touch with an old friend

I would send him a short mail and ask how he is doing. I've done it to friends before when I have been concerned. I reckon it doesn´t hurt to tell someone that you are thinking about them. Not forcing them to open up or badgering them at all, but just a note so that they know you are there if they need someone.

I will message him. Just check in and say hi, how’s it going type thing.