To think it's not too late for me? I need some moral support.

[Freshstart19]

I've been in two relationships, both have been abusive and my latest is a bully who is refusing to leave. He has nowhere to go because everyone knows what he is like and tolerates him but won't take him in.

As a result of these relationships I've 4 children. All of which I am glad I have. My ex doesn't have anything to do with his children so I am their soul carer.

My current partner took on the role and was all things wonderful at the start and then the controlling behaviour started once I was too far in.

Before anyone jumps down my throat as I suspect they will. I did use contraception. But in the words of the doctor "I'm a very fertile woman." Even the implant failed me.

I made the decision to keep all my children as I have been made to abort before due to Ill health, and I could never bare to do that again. I'm now going for a permanent solution.

I have suffered very Ill health and nearly died 3 times due to reasons I can't disclose for fear of outing. But they are serious. I and now fully healthy.

The relationship I am in now is so draining my mental health has taken a huge hit and I've lost myself. My self confidence is knocked. I'm quite numb.

The job I am in and some people I work with make me miserable.

So I'm looking for a way to change all this.
I am going to leave the man who makes me and my children miserable. Everything is a shouting match (him doing the shouting). There is NEVER any joy. He blames his own mental health. But I know that's a cover up. I also know I can never see him in the same light even if things did improve.

I've suffered all sorts of abuse for years so I know I attract the wrong times of men because I've never had good men to look upto. When my dad walked away I went searching for someone who could fill that void. Which has landed me where I am now.
I know deep down I'm worth more. But I need to climb back up.

I want to hear from mum's who successfully went back to full time education to follow the career of their dreams.

I have applied for courses that start September. I've bagged myself two interviews. But I'm terrified I won't be able to cope financially full time.

Does anyone have any tips or words of courage. I can't live like this any longer and I'm willing to work hard if it's doable and my children won't suffer.

I am still young. Young enough that 4 years in education would still make me young when I complete it.

Any advice would seriously help right now.

How old are your children and who will look after them if you work full time?

Oldest high school. Youngest nursery age. So the same as while I'm working now. Childminders and school. Expect it would be around my college hours. Obviously I would need to find out about help with that. Which is why I'm here asking.

Good idea to get back into education if you can. Will you be doing an Access course?

How would your finances be if you kicked that idiot out now?

Financialy now I would be okay aslong as I continued to work. But if I went into full time education I would have to leave my job. Which if I'm honest, I've wanted to do for a long time because arranging childcare around it is a nightmare anyway.

I just don't know what I would do for an income while studying. Which I why I'm here.

I've never relied on him financially.

Ive just finished a bsc, in eerily similar circs. SFE and my uni (down south) threw money upon money at me. Parents learning allowance, chilcare allowance, maintainence grant and loan, bursary and hardship funding. I think it averaged out to about 14k a year in 3 installments. You can do this. You will feel a whole new person for doing it too. The main thing is managing the workload. I was very lucky in one sense as my taught lectures were light... double edged sword as im lazy and procrastinate. But that said even with being pg and having a premmie in my second and third year, ive done it. I did a foundation and Bsc courae and am walking into a new career path come sept. Its honestly the most freeing thing ive done.

When I've finished my education they would all be in full time school so childcare would be much easier.
I have a reliable child minder at the minute so non of that is a problem.

It's that finance side of it.

Should also say was still eligible for tax credits and to claim income support during summer between academic years. I have a mortgage so the thought of taking the plunge was terrifying, but im so proud I did it. Its given me a brighter more fulfilled future and enabled me to be there for my kids. Its been liberating!

Mummaganoush
Really? So financially it's completely doable? Did you work at all. Or did you soley rely apon the college funding.

These are the things I'm needing to know.
I've worked all my life and now I want a career that will eventually enjoyable and help my children.

I'm not down south. But I can't see it being that different. I know there are plenty of grants and loans. It knowing what's what and has anyone else done it.

I'm glad I've found someone.

I know with four children it will be the hardest thing I've done. But also worth it.

This makes me sound so bloody lazy but with the money I accessed, i didnt really need to. 2 if the DCs dad left me, and he oaid and still pays maintainence so that was a help, but my youngest DCs dad has never really contributed and I got through it fine.

SFE will pay 80% of your chikdcare costs, and those can be all day everyday not just the days you are in Uni, a friend took adcantage of this to study effectively and work. Any oart time earnings arent calculated against you either.

I think I recieved circa 3,500 per 3 months from SFE, 400 from HEI bursary, and my uni had funds to award up to 5k per academic year per pupil which they awarded me in full 2 out of 3 years. Obviously the part of the money from SFE that is a loan is repayable as are your fees but not until you earn 21k plus per year.

This is all related to a university course not sure it applies to lower level courses, but 90% of uni's will consider your application without all qualifications, as life and working exoerience is very much given credence in many fields.

As long as you arent backwards in putting yourself forwards the finances are there, and I say that as someone who is UTTERLY SHIT with money. A normal responsible proper adult would have had savings from it id imagine!

You can do this

Excuse typos,I'm a rubbish typist too haha.

OP well done, go for it, there is always a way x

You can also claim benefits over the summer if you have children and study full time - student finance only count as income for 38/39 weeks of the year ( ie for 3-4 months of the year you effectively have £0 income for the purposes of benefits) and you can claim the Special Support Loan as well, of which a huge chunk is disregarded in term time, so there's a chance you'll be eligible for benefits in term time too. The system is really encouraging of people going back into education. This explains it quite well.

I'm going to do this. I'm going for the interviews. I'll claim every thing I can and smash through the next 3-4 years knowing there is something better for me and the children waiting on the other side.

I'm also writing a book about my life. So will publish once I'm successful.

I don't want to be that woman who couldn't because her past held her back.
Thank you all so much..

& if there is anyone else who has please share. I could use your courage.

unweavedrainbow
That's was perfect thank you.
No doubt if I get through the interviews the college will inform me of all this too.

I was a single parent in my mid 40s not long divorced when I went to university on a foundation year and walked out with a BSc HONS and an MSc. I did it on student loans and child tax credits. It's doable and incredibly hard work but the rewards are immeasurable.

OP, you may find this website helpful on funding for parents who wish to www.gingerbread.org.uk/information/benefits-tax-credits-and-universal-credit/if-youre-planning-to-study/money-for-higher-education-students/HE -

(Sorry link may not work but if you put it in Google the page comes up. The same website has a similar page for FE).

Also, talk to the Uni / College. Many have dedicated student finance teams who should be able to talk through funding with you.