Am I being oversensitive?

[1MrsRabbit]

Long story short ex partner had a long term affair and we split 18 months ago. He is stil with OW and my best friend has now added her as a friend on social media. Her husband is close friends with my ex. Am I being unreasonable to be quite hurt by this? I haven’t said anything, and Im not sure if I just need to suck it up and deal with it, but it is making me anxious that they will now be able to see photos etc, despite being blocked by me, as best friend is tagged in so many posts

No, I’d be hurt too.

I would also be hurt. She must know you would see it.

I didn’t see, presumably because I’ve got OW blocked but another friend let me know :(

I think it’s entirely normal to feel hurt. Unfortunately you can’t control your friends actions, only yours. You may need time to process this and back off from the friendship

It’s unsettling because I thought I’d moved on and I’m very happy with someone else now, so it’s knovked me back a bit why I feel this way

Don’t over analyse it OP. The fact is you do feel upset so acknowledge it and move past it. Don’t start stressing that you should or shouldn’t feel
a certain way at a certain time coz the brain doesn’t work like that. They say to fully get over someone it takes half the time that you were with them. So if you were with your Ex for more than 3 years you’re probably still going through the process

Well . She's not your best friend is she ? Bin the cow.

Thank you for the support

He cheated on you. That is huge! The fact your best friend is getting cozy with the OW would be hurtful as that is a life changing event. No matter how many years later it would feel like a betrayal as I am sure at the time she was your confident as to the hell you were going through.

It is her business who she adds and she may be in a bit of a position due to her husband being BF’s with your exH. She could still take a stand and say no, he as he committed and act I comply disagree with and find revolting. He destroyed a friend I love and find dear. I want nothing to do with him. Please note, I am concentrating on him as he had the vow to be with you, the woman didn’t. Not that she is any better if she knew he was married but she didn’t take a vow of marriage...

Your friend caved for her marriage. I would talk to her and say hey, what’s up, this hurt me. It doesn’t hurt to get out of the air.

Yep - she’s no friend. Sack her off.

If my best friend did that I'd feel really hurt and betrayed. That's very disloyal of her.

Very unsupportive behaviour. If she really is a friend you should be able to talk about it and let her know you're unhappy about it. If she fails to take your feelings into consideration then you might need to reconsider the friendship.

If my best friend did this (which she never would!!) I'd be well pissed off!!! YANBU to feel betrayed angry. I don't think it has anything to do with how you feel/don't feel about your exh.
IMO it's out of order and disrespectful to you.
Having said that there's not much you can do about it. Ask your friend if she's doing it just to snoop and feed back any goss to you. Hope she takes the hint?!?!
How do you feel about OW? Does 's you BF know?
Breaking the girl code??

It’s a betrayal and I understand why you are hurt, can you talk to her and explain how you feel? She might just think that you are over the whole thing and as it’s in the past it’s ok to be friends with her.

Horribly disloyal. She’s not a real friend.

Sorry OP

I would be a bit peeved and hurt too but on balance I think YAB a bit U. All your friend has done (as far as we know) is add her on social media. It doesn’t mean they are BFFs or even that she likes her. Sometimes it can be awkward to turn down a friend request (I’ve had some from relations or colleagues that I don’t like but I accept them as it would cause drama not to). I then discreetly mute them or block them as much as possible. This could definitely be such a situation when she just wants to be polite to avoid a scene.

Hold your head up high OP and remember that the best revenge is living well. And if the OW happens to see some evidence of that living well on your mate’s SM, so much the better.

We weren’t married, but were together for 8/9years with him cheating for the last two, which I didn’t discover until OW contacted me.
Best friend was a rock and of course I offloaded a lot onto her. But I have been there for her a lot in the past too. I’ve not said anything to anyone yet, I’m away this week, so may just go nc for a bit and mull things over - I can blame lack of reception.
Feel a bit foolish and disappointed tbh

Could she think as you're now very happy with someone else, and it's been 18 months you'd be ok with it?

Not unreasonable at all, that would no longer be a best friend of mine and she would find herself blocked.

YANBU

I'd be very hurt too. It's extremely disloyal to you.

I'd drop the "friend" like a hot potato.

I wouldn’t blame the reception for not being contactable. When you do speak to her tell her how hurt you are that she added the OW on social media.

A friend told me once that a woman who was awful to me came up and said hello to her and tried to have a conversation. My friend said of course she brushed her off because she was my friend not hers. Loyalty is very important, by being loyal and having loyal friends and family.