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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think our healthy dog has just been put down?

110 replies

AfternoonTeaIsLovely · 09/08/2018 11:55

Our dog was a bit jumpy and yelpy yesterday. She didn't want to come in the house and when she did, she was panting a lot. A few months ago we reported some excessive panting and her snapping at our daughter and it was put down to age and hormonal issues (had her womb out last year at 14years old). So yesterday we presumed it was anxiety again and stubbornness when she didn't go out for another week later. Her panting continued through the night and we took her to vets first thing. She had applied herself and was displaying signs of a stroke.

It's all a bit of a blur but my husband tells me the vet said it looked like advanced Vascular disease. We were told we could try steroids but she may not be able to eat them at home and also told that putting her to sleep was an option. I trusted my husband to make the right decisions as I wasn't understanding what we were told. I know 100% my husband would have given her a chance if he thought she had one so
we had her put to sleep.

I've now come home and googled to find most sources saying a full recovery can be made. Hubby doesn't think I should call the vets as they are busy but I just don't understand why this happened so quickly and why her prognosis was made to sound so terrible. I had to take my child out so couldn't stay for the final moments, hubby says the vet told him after it had been the right decision.

This was a PDSA hospital and out dogs treatment was free. I'm.not so cynical to think they would have pushed us to the lowest cost option but I'm so confused right now that she was so healthy two days ago and now she's gone with an 'advanced' disease.

Has anyone else been through this. I cannot get it out of my head that I should have took longer to consider the options and assess her chances of recovery.

OP posts:
LEMtheoriginal · 09/08/2018 12:24

Honestly call them. They will understand and be able to put your mind at rest. What you are feeling is normal and understandable. Ask to speak to a nurse in the first instance.

AfternoonTeaIsLovely · 09/08/2018 12:25

@LEMtheoriginal

That does give me some reassurance thank you. I thought she said Vascular but she had a strong Eastern European accent. She pointed out the head tilt and rapid eye movements and described it as advanced.

OP posts:
Bibesia · 09/08/2018 12:25

Never assume that Dr Google knows more than the vet who has actually examined your dog and knows her history.

Lepetitpiggy · 09/08/2018 12:26

We had to have our beautifl cat pts last year as he suddenly developed panting nd lost weight. The vet spent ages checking him over and said he had a growth on his lungs which could possibly be treated but would put him through more stress and may not work. Of course I begged and begged for it but she was very gentle in her approach to let me know it really wasn't worth it. The pain we felt having him pts was immense and for ages I was sure I had made the wrong decision and the vet just didn't want to bother. I think its a normal reaction when you love your pet so much. I'm so sorry. I do think maybe a all just to get a clearer explanation would help you. I did speak to her again when I collected his ashes and came away knowing we'd made the right decision.

Brigante9 · 09/08/2018 12:28

The panting is indicative of heart disease. At 14, I’d say a day early rather than a day too late. It’s heartbreaking, for sure, I’ve never got over my dog being PTS years ago.

I’m keeping a close eye on my 15 year old, he definitely has doggy dementia, he’s quite weak behind so can no longer control his bowels, but while he still enjoys walks and can run round, I’m not too bothered about having to pick up in the house.

BackinTimeforTea · 09/08/2018 12:33

hugs for you op - i think these decisions are always so hard, but i don't think it was a bad call for quality of life reasons. My all means call them, but both of my childhood dogs were PTS in similar circumstances, better a dignified end than suffering at home and poor quality of life.

LEMtheoriginal · 09/08/2018 12:33

@MarthaArthur all that depends on the client and vet involved. As a nurse i don't involve myself too much with the clinical explanation as that is down to the vet. I often am not involved until the time to say goodbye and the decision has been effectively made hiwever people often ask if they are doing the right thing. If i have been involved with the animals treatment and developed a relationship with the owner i will give facts and discuss with the owner- they often feel intimidated by the vet and or want a second person to tell them its ok. People feel such guilt and i can tell you we in the veterinary profession are not immune to the emotions surrounding loss of a pet. It is very much based on the client. Some peopme are very stiff upper lipped others try andvremain "happy" for their pet wheras ive had griwn men sob like a baby. Its shit but ultimately a privalige to be able to support owners and their pets at such a difficult time.

DameDoom · 09/08/2018 12:34

AfternoonTeaIsLovely bless your heart - you have had a nasty shock. They do decline so fast.
You seem like a wonderful owner - I know she must have had a great life with you. Flowers

Gottagetmoving · 09/08/2018 12:35

It's been a terrible shock for you and I think your reaction and thoughts now are normal but please don't beat yourself up because I think your dh made the right decision based on the Vet's diagnosis. I think sometimes we find it hard to let go even when it's for the best for our loved pet.

Frazzled2207 · 09/08/2018 12:35

So sorry for your loss. You will be in shock right now.
I would trust the vet in this case but I think calling or perhaps better visiting the vet at some point is appropriate, you're basically asking for a debrief of what happened, not questioning their judgment at all.

Juells · 09/08/2018 12:35

As Brigante says - better a day too early than a day too late. 15 is a very advanced age for a dog, and it's kinder to PTS while there's still some quality to his/her life. I would hate for one of my dogs to be in pain just because I wanted to hold on as long as possible. It's a kindness to have them PTS.

MarthaArthur · 09/08/2018 12:39

Thanks for explaining that LEM.

Op it sounds like it would be good for you to have a chat with the vet to put your mind at rest. In my experience of animals is they can and do deteriorate quickly. Your reaction is normal though.

MrsJayy · 09/08/2018 12:39

My friends dog had this dog only lasted a few months then went downhill rapidly thennhad to be PTS. I am sorry about your old girl but I do think your husband made the best decisi

Whitney168 · 09/08/2018 12:40

So sorry for your loss, and I know it can be hard to come to terms with - but from what you describe, I would certainly have had a dog PTS in those circumstances to give them peace.

Flowers
Loonoon · 09/08/2018 12:41

Vets don’t suggest PTS lightly, they love animals and want to do what’s best for them. Your dog was very old, the equivalent of nearly a hundred years for a person and had a good life and knew love.

Even if she wasn’t actually suffering at that moment in some ways it might be kinder to end it before she started to suffer than after.

I am very sorry for your loss.

anothernextsale · 09/08/2018 12:41

Sorry to read the loss of your beloved dog.

Panting can be a sign of pain & dogs are well known they can tolerate quite high levels of pain until they show symptoms.

I can't remember for sure but this sounds very similar to my dog I had to have pts about 20 years ago, took her home after first vet visit but she deteriorated badly over the next few days until it became obvious I'd made the wrong decision and should have let her run free straight away.

I'm sure your vet will be happy to talk to you, put your mind at ease too and treasure the wonderful memories you must have

TaighNamGastaOrt · 09/08/2018 12:43

So sorry for your loss. Sounds like vestibular disease which is treatable if caught early. Sadly your dog seems to have come down with it awful quickly, which isnt a bad thing at her age.
My old collie had a stroke at that age, she recovered, but as soon as she had a second stroke, I knew what was the right thing for her, despite not being there and my friend having to do it.]
My vet explained it as doing the right thing for my girl, but the wrong thing for me. Its truly the hardest part of loving a pet, is knowing when to say goodbye. I think you've let your old girl go with dignity after a long, happy life with you.
Try to focus on the happy memories you made. If calling the vet helps, do it. I sobbed on the vet nurses shoulder so much, she cried too!
Would you like to share a pic of your girl? Tell us about her x

AfternoonTeaIsLovely · 09/08/2018 12:46

Thank you everyone. I didn't expect to gain strength from posting here but I am taking comfort from the reassuring comments. She was such a lovely, gentle well behaved dog, everyone loved her and she didn't look or act 15, she still thought she was a pup! That may be why it's been such a shock. I had a new pet tag made a few days ago, honestly thought we had another good few years left yet.

OP posts:
FermatsTheorem · 09/08/2018 12:47
Flowers

I think it's very natural to get that "rewind the clock, right now" feeling after any terrible event, and go over every detail thinking "is there something I could have done differently which would have led to a different outcome?" (I lost a cat a few years ago in a road traffic accident, and had a lot of moments of "if I hadn't left the window open for him to get out... if I'd calmed DS down so he'd not been so boisterous that the cat ran off... should I have opted for an indoor cat?" Of course, sadly, there is no rewind facility on life, and even if there was, sometimes things just go wrong, and that's it - no particular reason. But I think it's a natural part of the grieving process.)

I don't think vascular and vestibular are the same thing - the vestibules are the canals in the inner ear that control balance, I think. So if you're googling that and it's showing it as minor, that probably isn't what your cat had. I agree with PP that vets, in my experience, will do whatever they can to help an animal, and only PTS when there's no alternative and your pet would just be suffering needlessly.

Calledyoulastnightfromglasgow · 09/08/2018 12:49

I’m so sorry.

I would phone the vet - for peace of mind

Stalmida · 09/08/2018 12:52

There's something called valvular heart disease in dogs, symptoms of which include behaviour changes, exercise intolerance and breathing problems. Could it be that you misheard as it's similar to vascular? The prognosis for that is not very favourable.

Sorry for your loss Flowers

hammeringinmyhead · 09/08/2018 12:55

If it helps our Scottish terrier developed vestibular disease overnight at 14. My mum sat with her all night and then the vet took her in and tried steroids and various other things. She passed away the next day at the vet, and we wished we had made the decision to stay with her and have her PTS. Flowers

hammeringinmyhead · 09/08/2018 12:56

Sorry, I mean vascular!

Pavlova31 · 09/08/2018 12:56

Sorry for your loss 💐

ThatchersCold · 09/08/2018 12:57

My 14 year old dog had a vestibular episode on Tuesday, I had no idea what was wrong so took him to the vets. His legs weren’t working at all. I really thought he wouldn’t be coming back out of the vets alive.

She immediately diagnosed vestibular disease and said to keep an eye on him for the next few days as many dogs do make a good recovery.

2 days later, he’s a lot better. Was playing ball in the garden this morning! BUT the vet did say that some dogs don’t recover, she was hopeful he would as he seemed bright and was trying to walk.

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