My son doesnt like me

[LyndorCake]

So this is more of a WWYD I suppose but in a bit upset this morning.
DS is 20 months and he doesn't like me at all at the moment because im telling him off when he behaves badly. He started hitting so I take his hands and tell him no. He pulls away, runs off to DGP or DH and cries while glaring at me. I know this sounds silly but he won't have a cuddle from me, he won't give me a kiss, he's so eager to get away from me, it's heartbreaking! I do spend time with just me and him but he kicks off and cries until we get home. Occasionally he's lovely and we have a great day, but most of the time he's just difficult...but only with me. Everyone tells me what a lovely little boy he is so its quite upsetting that I cause him such distress!

It’s probablt just a phase. Though maybe you’re scaring him a little ? Perhaps you’ve held his hands after he hit someone a little too tightly or said No in too loud a voice ? He’s only 20 months very young to be getting a ‘telling off’.

Mine went through a phase of this and it was really upsetting. Mine coincided with me starting working more hours, so at the time I cut them back and got my lovely DS back.

Hmm, I think it’s more likely that you are the one he feels he can let these feelings out with and express his frustration towards because he knows you love him and you’re always there. I doubt it’s because you’ve been too rough (although I guess you’re the only one who could honestly assess that). 20 months is nearly 2, he needs boundaries and to know when he has pushed the limit. You’re right not to let him go about hitting. I hope DH and DGP back you up.

My DD is a similar age and sometimes I feel like she hates me too, she tells me no to everything she hates cuddles from me she kicks off if I try and do things with her (like if she's in the sand pit and I try and play with her) but she's good as gold for everyone else, does what she's asked never kicks off for nursery or my parents. I'm a single mum so I find it really hard sometimes as it's just me and DD 99% of the time.

I like to think it's because she is comfortable enough with me to behave that way and push boundaries like she isnt with other people so I just keep telling myself it will get better as she gets bigger and can express herself better. It does suck though doesn't it

Can you try using distraction and saving telling offs for important stuff. Also being silly and fun and daft can carry a child’s mood hugely. You’ve both probably just got into a repeated loop of behaviour but it’s doem to you as the adult to change things.

Also you may be coming across as needy wanting kisses and he may be using it as a power thing by rejecting you. If you go for hugs under the guise of being a robot or train or something silly it’s more likely to happen

Thanks everyone. I was a bit emotional when I posted that this morning after being hit in the face yet again.
I should have mention that I think this is linked to brushing his teeth. He will not let anyone near his teeth with a toothbrush. He doesn't want to do it himself as I've tried letting him, he fights me, throws things and hits when I try. But I'm the only one who will persevere because it needs to be done. I think this is the main reason for the 'dislike'.
Perhaps I am coming across too needy to him, maybe I need to just let him come when he wants me...it just seems like that is never. We were at a big family event at the weekend and he spent the whole time trying to get away from me and go to my DM. I used to be his best friend

But I'm the only one who will persevere because it needs to be done. I think this is the main reason for the 'dislike'.

It sounds like your family (particularly your DH!) are letting you play bad cop.

You're the only one that brushes his teeth. You're the one that tells him off... you may also be the one that doesn't let him have pudding/makes him put away his toys etc...?

He pulls away, runs off to DGP or DH and cries while glaring at me.

Did they comfort him?

That was just my first thought, btw. I may obviously be wrong....

Will he do it with an electric toothbrush?

My DS1 has some autistic traits (they suspect ASD and ADHD) and was like this. We bought him an electric batman toothbrush and he thinks it’s the coolest thing ever. We also get one of us to brush our teeth at the same time and he copies.