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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask for help in not worrying about this?

27 replies

worryworryworry12 · 09/08/2018 06:07

This is a ridiculous thing to be anxious about; I know.

Some while ago we booked a holiday for us all to go on next year. I really wanted to go. And now all I do is worry about it. Primarily, about the flight. It's a very long (one break for a few hours), approx 17 hours in total.

It's ruining the idea for me. I don't know why. I knew before I booked it was this length.

OP posts:
ScreamingValenta · 09/08/2018 06:11

Sorry to hear you are feeling anxious. What is it specifically about the long flight that worries you?

Original poster
worryworryworry12 · 09/08/2018 06:14

Kids not coping, mainly. And then when we get to our destination, it not being a good holiday...

OP posts:
Screaminginsidemeagain · 09/08/2018 06:15

How old are the kids?

TanteRose · 09/08/2018 06:15

what is worrying you? being on the plane all that time, or the distance?

TanteRose · 09/08/2018 06:16

Kids will love all the movies, games etc.
Take colouring books or tablet with familiar films etc.

where are you going?

Original poster
worryworryworry12 · 09/08/2018 06:21

Kids are 8 and 10

Indonesia.

I don't know what's worrying me, per se. I really don't. Only that I feel incredibly anxious about it and wish I hadn't booked! Which is totally ridiculous. I feel like it's too much of a trip. I think i find it a bit overwhelming.

OP posts:
ScreamingValenta · 09/08/2018 06:27

Worrying about it not being a good holiday - I always have that worry. I only have one 'away' holiday a year, and I become anxious about it being wasted or not living up to expectations.

I try to alleviate it by making lots of plans - including fall-back options if something goes wrong, so I feel I am well prepared to make the most of the time and will not be at a loose end. There are always some things you can't plan for, such as unexpected illness, but you have to keep in mind that these could happen anywhere, and aren't a reflection on your choice of holiday.

Another tactic is to approach it with an 'it will be an adventure!' mindset.

AnnieAnoniMoose · 09/08/2018 06:27

8 & 10? Why do you think they won’t cope? Do they have any SN’s?

Original poster
worryworryworry12 · 09/08/2018 06:36

ScreamingValenta. This is how I feel. We've been talking about doing a trip for ages. This feels big. And expensive. I feel responsible as I've driven it.

The kids don't have SN, no, I just worry for them

OP posts:
TanteRose · 09/08/2018 06:40

It will absolutely be an adventure for them!

they will love it, I'm sure - you could prepare by studying Indonesia so they have an idea of what kind of country it is.

We had a family holiday to Malaysia when my two were about that age (it wasn't as far, as we live in Japan - but of course that means long-haul every time we went back to visit the UK)

They loved all the fruit and noodles- we went to a butterfly farm etc.
Hotel was nice with pool etc.

we went to a couple of historical sites too, which they found interesting at that age.

Original poster
worryworryworry12 · 09/08/2018 06:42

I know, I need to turn it into 'it's an adventure' mindset. I absolutely do. This is the bit I'm struggling with

OP posts:
beluga425 · 09/08/2018 06:47

Wow that sounds great. I love travel and go away a lot but i also suffer from anxiety which can be debilitating. I get over it by researching and planning loads.

Indonesia is a wonderful destìnation. which islands? It'll be a brilliant experience for your children. Why not post some questions in the holidays section. Get lost in TripAdvisor.

There's also loads of good flight advice on MN.

GeorgeIII · 09/08/2018 06:50

The flight could be seen as a rainy bank holiday. Once on the plane you read, eat meals, doze, watch tv or movies. DCsusually do better than adults at this. I find it relaxing as you are cut off from all the usual harassments of life.
Indonesia can’t fail to be exotic and different. Such an interesting place, lovely climate. Sounds fab to me.

ScreamingValenta · 09/08/2018 06:55

To build the adventure mindset, imagine yourself looking back on the holiday afterwards, telling people about it, showing photos etc. If something doesn't go as planned, you actually come back with more interesting things to talk about.

MadameGerbil · 09/08/2018 06:59

My biggest regrets seen to be the things I haven't done!
30 years ago I travelled to Indonesia on my own (was 18 at the time won an inter-cultural scholarship) i felt trepidation similar to what you describe. The great unknown turned out great and have many happy memories of that lovely country. Very children friendly culture your kids will help you to enjoy it I'm sure! Bon voyage & bon courage! Smile

whiteroseredrose · 09/08/2018 07:30

At that age your DC will be absolutely fine with the journey.

As for Indonesia, do your research and find lovely child friendly things to do. My only suggestion would be to avoid too many long journeys and build in plenty of down time. Less is more. A few things enjoyed at a relaxed pace is better than ticking everything off a list.

Original poster
worryworryworry12 · 09/08/2018 07:45

Thanks all. I really appreciate the support. We are mostly going to Bali and Gili islands.

OP posts:
Pippylou · 09/08/2018 07:50

Look where the break is & see what you can do at the airport. Eg, I went in the pool at Dubai, freshens you up, etc.

Original poster
worryworryworry12 · 09/08/2018 08:15

Thanks Pippylou, that's really helpful

OP posts:
EduCated · 09/08/2018 08:21

If it helps, I LOVE long haul flights - enforced chill out time with movies and entertainment on tap, snacks, drinks, watching out the window, snooze time!

Which airline are you flying with? The long haul ones are SO much nicer and far less stingy with drinks etc. Which airport is your break at? Again, a chance to stretch legs and jump about, have a meal, change clothes (I find clean underwear part way through makes a huge difference to how I feel!).

The kids are a good age, it old enough to be excited by it all and entertain themselves with the films and games, and you can take books, drawing things, games etc with you too.

DunesOfSand · 09/08/2018 08:33

Not quite as far, but i regularly (like twice a year) do this sort of journey with the kids.
Unlimited films and on screen entertainment, but an enforced sleep for the oldest if it's an "up all night" journey. Its dull, but fine. Go find the kids playground if you have time at the transfer airport, and get them to move about. I also do a decent meal in the airport, as i dont eat much on planes.
We gave been doing it since they we small tho, so it's just part of life to them.
Who are you flying with?

Original poster
worryworryworry12 · 09/08/2018 08:39

This is all really encouraging and helping me. Thanks. Flying Thai Air. Stopover is at Bangkok.

OP posts:
disconnecteddrifter · 09/08/2018 08:39

Do your kids like screens? Food? I took mine on a similar flight to Nepal when they were 6 and 4. 6 year old sat on his own watching all his favourite films, playing games and eating! 4 year old did some colouring in, ate and slept on me. On the long stop over they played in their ds consoles.
I was on my own with them but thought I'd be pretty safe in a plane/airport and they had a great time. And you're going to Bali! I have been a beautiful country very relaxing. You'll have a blast - what lucky children to have you for a mum

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 09/08/2018 08:40

Your dc will be fine OP. Long haul flights cater brilliantly for children imo. Food, snacks, films, drinks etc. Take their tablets with games on and a few small toys ( if they still play with them ) dress them in comfy clothes and take their shoes off. They will probably snooze and just chill out and ime the flight goes really quick.

Your holiday sounds fab.

Faroutbrussel · 09/08/2018 08:40

Bali is a popular destination for Aussies. I would get a guide book like the lonely planet and start planning. The snorkelling should be good, boat trips, wildlife, temples they will have a great time.