To have expected more help and support

[Horridhenry88]

So dd3 has been having toileting issues. Well basicially she has been refusing to wear pants and pretty much refuses to sit on toilet. She is nearly 5 years old. I have had support from nursery and 0 to 5 team but nothing had worked.
Out if desperation I visited GP go referral to confidence services.
GP basically said that in India they toilet train at 18 months and they don't have these issues but over here is different.
Basically told me to use sticker charts and return in two weeks if still having issues. Like I haven't tried this for the last year.
So AIBU to have expected more.

Is she wearing pull ups?
Leave her in them until she is ready.
I understand your frustration though. My DD would not defecate in a toilet (she'd hold it in all day and go in her pull up at home) until she was nearly 6 but she'd urinate fine on the loo. I enticed her by letting her sit on the toilet with her tablet. This helped.

I think I am just at the stage now where I know I have two weeks before our holiday and I want it cracked.
Not bothered about night time. Just day.
We can do this.

Can you make it a routine? Make her drink a decent amount at breakfast, lunch and dinner then say 20 or so minutes later say she has to sit on the potty and watch an episode of her favourite show on TV, iPad whatever. We found with DC3 he would sit for a minute say he didn’t need then get up again. But by making him sit for an episode of his favourite show on the iPad (he preferred the training seat on the toilet as neither of his older siblings were using a potty so he didn’t want to!) meant he relaxed long enough to go. Within a couple of weeks he got the hang of it and didn’t need it any more.

She might have a sore bottom/fanny.
A friend of mine has to get prescription for her DD or too dry and undies chafe (sp?) terribly.
Unusual condition but she had to be referred to specialists

Do the pants irritate her?

I can't wear certain pants and bras, itch the hell out of me. Never know which ones until after wearing them, usually any elastic on them is the culprit, never even attempt lacy things. Boy pants may be easier for her at home, as they are thicker, nicer cotton.

I have ADHD tho so it may be a sensory issue for me but not been assessed for those & was dx as an adult.

Thanks everyone. She has been wearing pull ups but after a few weeks of trying she has finally agreed to wear a cloth training pant. Think I will get another one of two.
She hasn't complained of any soreness but again I thought the GP would examine her.

Have you tried shorts and then move into knickers? A family members dd was the same so she started wIth shorts under her dresses etc and worked up to knickers. I think the dd preffered shorts to start with because they aren’t so tight to the skin.

She did say the label was a problem so I cut them out.

Bizarrely she doesn't like wearing shorts an rarely wear dresses. Prefers jogging bottoms.

Would she be more comfortable in boxers?

Radical but get rid of the pants. Will she wear just joggers?

I was in the same situation. My daughter was 5 and still not going to the toilet for a poo. We were referred to the school nurse but i think you can contact them direct. Also try ERIC the childrens bowel and bladder charity for information.

What kinds of clothes does she not like? Many people with touch sensitive sensory disorders can’t tolerate turtlenecks, tight sleeves, itchy jumpers, tights, etc.

I have problems with my 4yo DS and constipation. We sit him on the toilet morning and night and play "poo faces" and see who can make the best face and inevitably one comes out. We also blow bubbles and blow up balloons while sitting on the toilet as it's the same muscles as pooing. Don't know if this would help with the not going on the toilet issue? A smiley face for playing the game and sits on toilet for five mins and a star on the chart if she does a pee. Then if the chart is full after a week a special trip out with just mummy.

Re the pants, would she wear just jogging bottoms with nothing underneath?

It does sound like she has sensory issues rather than just being stubborn.

I think jogging bottoms would be an idea. She doesn't like jeans and prefers her legs covered but not tights.

This sounds really hard, well done for all you are doing to help you’re little one.
You sound like a lovely parent and I hope you both find a solution very soon x