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AIBU?

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Original poster

to not find inspirational speakers inspirational

28 replies

Gingerlilly · 08/08/2018 16:50

I sometimes have to go to conferences at work and usually we have an 'inspirational' speaker, usually someone who has climbed a mountain or become a CEO of a multi-million company whilst being a Mum to 5 and running a marathon at the same time. Is it just me or does this just make you feel like they are saying 'look at me and how great I am and look at how rubbish you are, just about managing to get up for work each day and eating chocolate and drinking gin all weekend. Not inspirational at all, just annoying really. Lovely for them if thats what they enjoy but why make me feel bad about it. At least 50% of my collegues at work or friends on facebook are either doing an iron man, parachute jump, trapese training etc and posting their triumphs - I just don't want to quite frankly but constantly feel inadequate because I am so inherently lazy. Maybe I am old and bitter but I do find that it irritates me more and more. Hoping I'm not the only one.

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MrsTerryPratchett · 08/08/2018 16:54

I don't find those types inspiring at all.

But I saw a talk by a young woman who works for a MH charity talking about her father's suicide and her work and I was very inspired. A lovely kid who'd gone through the care system and works with youth in sex work inspires me. Overcoming hardship inspires me.

Uniclycling around India for charity (while I bet your DW is at home dealing with the shitwork) doesn't. Maybe I'm a cynical old cow as well Grin

redexpat · 08/08/2018 16:55

Ive never really been interested enough in one of these to actually go to one. They just sound a bit tedious to me. I quite like a TED talk though. Perhaps you might enjoy the one about not giving a fuck:

Loonoon · 08/08/2018 17:00

It depends on the speaker. Some are great, some are dull.

Original poster
Gingerlilly · 08/08/2018 17:19

MrsTerryPratchett thank you - exactly that, of course people who have overcome a challenging time/illness and then gone on to succeed, yes very inspiring stories. We had a talk at work from a lovely guy whos son had committed suicide and he now talks to parents all over about teenage depression which is valuable work.

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Original poster
Gingerlilly · 08/08/2018 17:21

redexpat - I have seen that TED talk, it's very good.

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annandale · 08/08/2018 17:26

I'm with you. Thank God I don't work for an organisation that makes me go to this sort of thing. I remember one speaker at a club i belong to doing her inspirational speech (including some gem about a bad moment at work 'so I asked Daddy for a round the world ticket') but very suddenly it morphed into explaining that she was in fact suffering from a disease that was likely to kill her before she was 30 and how she dealt with that. It did make me more generous to the apparently trouble free life, there is no such thing.

Want2bSupermum · 08/08/2018 17:30

I totally agree with you. I'm in the US and I'm totally fed up with hearing about amazing accomplishments which really aren't all that amazing.

Sheryl Sandberg gave a talk at my previous place of employment and I walked away very demotivated. She was paid very handsomely to come talk to us about leaning into our careers. I stood up and asked her how others could lean in when away from home with DC and not making enough to cover childcare let alone any other expenses.

She worked for Larry Summers and he protected her plus promoted her to her current position. The lesson I learned was to pick a 50+ year old man to be my mentor and have them manage my career. I did that and now I'm a CFO.

As for running a marathon…isn't that why we invented cars?

MaybeDoctor · 08/08/2018 17:41

What did she say?

On another note, I have always been a little suspicious of the personality characteristics of someone who is a big ‘star’ doing extraordinary things. Single-minded often means exactly that.

There are often posts on here from women who are fed up because their DH’s are off getting all the glory from volunteering, helping out, being a local hero but won’t do a thing for their own family.

Balance is everything...even if great endeavours it does not make!

Mumminmum · 08/08/2018 17:53

sometimes the inspirational speakers haven't een done anything impressing. "i climbed Mount Everest .... even though we had been warned about the snow storm and I lost some toes". Dumbass. So it was a bit surprise to her that nature can be dangerous and that maybe you shouldn't climb a mountain if you are unwilling to listen to the experts.

Or some politician who has only reached a high position because he/she was carried on daddy's shoulders and has in fact never hold a real job for a day of their lives. But they somehow manage to talk as if they have actually accomplished something and didn't have it all handed to them. Go f.. yourselves.

Takfujimoto · 08/08/2018 18:06

I'd rather have a coffee and a fag with the local homeless man that frequents our nearest drive thru than listen to most of these highly paid 'inspirational' speakers.

They make me cringe more than the lack of Dave's personal hygiene has.

He's got a good sense of humour and I always walk away from our chats feeling more appreciative of what I have got than feeling I need to get more, make more, have more etc.

CSIblonde · 08/08/2018 18:32

The business 'corporate' ones, I come away thinking they've parlayed their gift of the gab into a lucrative con. It's all buzzwords and poached CBT theory/ideas. The 'motivational' ex athlete one I went I to was a bit 'meh' too.

nellyolsenscurl · 08/08/2018 18:41

I know a 'professional' inspirational speaker whose job it is to go to companies/women's groups dc to inspire them 'how to have it all'. She has a website with testimonials stating how 'life-changing' her talk is, h ow they are viewing life through a totally different lens and will never go back to their old way s. Basically her revolutionary ideas are to set goals in a journal, stick post it notes around the house as reminders and to do a meal plan for one month in advance. The joke is that she talks as if she is a high flier doing a 70 hour week but I know that she only has a few talks per month!

Notmany · 08/08/2018 18:58

I'm a professional scientist and so deep sceptism is part of the job. I find most of these speakers pretty dull. Their great achievements often can stem from opportunities given to them by family/school or elite uni connections or relatively privileged upbringing. They often aren't that great either and can be a bit narcissistic if I'm being honest. Their advice seems to jusy be fancy packaging of the bloody obvious. Just not for me.

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 08/08/2018 19:04

no not at all they are just good at selling some people have the knack and like nothing better than to tell you about themselves and how utterly fabulous they are

The Motivational Speaker Tony Robbins will share all his motivational secrets with you for a large sum of money

He even has a Tropical retreat you can visit for huge amounts of money to become totally inspired and Unleash The Power Within

and many go and to his concert arena tours - warning if you know anyone who is going stay away from them for a few months they become intolerable

Unsurprisingly Tony Robbins is a very very very wealthy man

Cauliflowersqueeze · 08/08/2018 19:05

I work in a school and tried to organise for an “inspirational speaker” to come to talk to our students. She really seemed to fit the bill perfectly so I thought a talk would be great.

Cost: £2,500 plus expenses!!!!!!!!!!!!

That would pay for a teacher for a whole term!!!

I don’t think anyone is that inspiring. I wouldn’t pay £2,500 for Martin Luther King to come back from the dead for a talk out of school funds!!

Want2bSupermum · 08/08/2018 19:33

maybe She asked how I was making it work. I replied that my husband is the one making an investment in me because he knows how important my career is to me. She smirked and said 'well you found a way to make it happen. Next!'

I was ShockHmmConfused and afterwards I was told off by 3 partners who asked why I was being confrontational. I explained that I was being confrontational. I have 3DC and with my salary it barely covers childcare let alone anything else. Not everyone has a OH who can afford to support their wife working for nothing once you have DC.

To be fair to her, I did take away from that presentation that I need to change my approach because playing by the rules doesn't get you far. You need to be the darling of a power player and have them place you. Truthfully that is how she got ahead. It had nothing to do with leaning in.

MaybeDoctor · 08/08/2018 22:59

Ah yes, the old ‘turn a question into a question’ trick!

Jamiefraserskilt · 08/08/2018 23:32

Not found one worth listening to yet and I have been force fed many.
Smug, self congratulatory, egotists is usually what comes to mind within 10 minutes of them bouncing out on stage. Most of the ones I spoke to have a very understanding and either time-rich or financially rich partner/parent to pick up the slack.
I am more interested in personal fights that have been fought; the sen kid who learned to read and write, the dv target who escaped, the seriously ill person who decided not to give up, the homeless person who survived on the street, the young kid who said no to peer pressure and broke the mould. The courage in those that don't seek personal recognition is what inspires me.

NalderAndCollier · 08/08/2018 23:34

No, but they can be bloody funny (unintentionally).

Grasslands · 08/08/2018 23:38

It takes a lot to get past my view of them being “new age snake oil salesmen/women”, buy my book/CD.

RockingMyFiftiesNot · 08/08/2018 23:39

I've heard loads they vary, don't think you can lump them all together. Some are very humble with great stories to tell that so make you think
Others you just want to slap.

Original poster
Gingerlilly · 09/08/2018 17:04

Thanks all, I find the fact that there are some people that share my views on inspirational speakers being uninspiring inspiring!

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Original poster
Gingerlilly · 09/08/2018 17:06

I don't know any real people who have got the luxury of time and resources to get a bunch of friends together and row across the atlantic.

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Sunnybeachbabe · 09/08/2018 17:34

I don't mind the ones with an actual message Eg. This happened in my life, I almost gave up but I didn't. So stick with it even when you're at your lowest ebb.... that sort of thing, can be quite good.
Some just talk about themselves for a couple of hours and expect you to fall at their feet in gratitude, just, no!!!

ScreamingValenta · 09/08/2018 17:48

No, they do nothing for me. It's irritating when this kind of thing is compulsory at work. Employers should recognise that there is a need for people who are happy to do their job to the best of their ability, without being desperate to climb the corporate ladder, and leave those people alone. There are people who find these things helpful, and I wish them the best, but they're not for me.