Waiting for disappointment?!

[Kakamora]

Okay so this is semi lighthearted, i still think my opinion but to each their own!

My friend who is not a virgin says she now wants to be sexually abstinent until she marries now, she isn’t currently with anyone.

Am I crazy to think sex compatibility is a huge part of a relationship and can you imagine marrying someone and then being in a marriage where the sex is literally awful. Sure you’d love them but sex to me Is very important and I don’t know how I could handle that disappointment. What about all tou?

You wouldn't buy a new car without test driving it first would you??!!
I actually slept with my now dh before the official first date!! I knew I would know whether it was worth starting out that way!!

Oh thank god. I thought I wasn’t going to be told otherwise 😂

Sex is a very personal thing - each to their own.

It's odd yes and not a choice I would make. Has she been used a lot for sex in the past? Perhaps she's just sick of partners that lead her on and wants to find something more meaningful.

I’m friends with quite a few couples who waited until marriage before having sex or living together. Couldn’t do it myself but they had religious reasons for waiting and seem to be in happy marriages.

To be honest, just cos you had great sex in your twenties, doesn’t mean your sex life wont go down the tubes after 20 years, three kids and no sleep. Nice to get a few good shags in first though

A true scenario among some friends of mine a few years back...

Mr A & Miss B are in a relationship
A converts to catholicism and decides to abstain until he marries B

(talk about moving the goalposts!)

Miss C & Mr D are in a relationship
C is already a catholic and is abstaining until she marries D

Guess what happened between Miss B and Mr D...

I have a friend who had a child at a young age (18). She was a single mother for a number of years. She didn’t want any chance of accidental pregnancy and didn’t sleep with her now husband until married (now married almost 30 years). He accepted that, respected her wishes.

It’s a funny thing, to some virginity is precious and to others it’s not a big deal. Some people grow up religious, some have bad associations with sex due to past trauma, others feel shame about it. And some people just want to get it done and dusted!
Personally I would need to ‘test drive’ beforehand. Sex isn’t the only form of intimacy but it is an important part of it, and it would be important to me that we connect on that level.

But I know some couples who waited and who are very happy years on. So I suppose it’s a matter of preference!

I think I’d also partly worry that I wouldn’t meet anyone to marry and so never get to experience it, that would be a disappointment!!

I waited till I was married, so did DH. We're quite religious and it was important to us.
We got the hang of it pretty quickly. (Our first year of marriage was a total Shag fest)
No problems there and we've been married for 23 years.

We also waited until marriage. I know lots of couples who also did. All for religious reasons. It has meant life is so much easier and made for a less complicated marriage IMHO. Very happy with the decision.