Aibu to think my friend is a bit cheeky?

[marie0675]

My friend text asking to borrow my suitcase for a mini break.
I said yes.
She's text saying she wants to come today for it ..I said ok il hurry back from town to be in.
I ask her if she will pop to the cake shop (2 doors from her) and bring me a cake over £3 max and il give her the cash.
She says no sorry can't,got the two boys with me and they will want one,will cost too much.
Will do it another time.
Yet I've just rushed back to be in for her.

In the future be prepared not to run around after her.

I think different friends need to be treated differently, and if you have someone who is always taking liberties, be prepared to be tougher with them than others who rarely ask a favour.

Taken me years to learn this!

Cancel lending her the suitcase. Say its broken/lost/you forgot you'd got rid of it.

I had a user friend who "borrowed" my very nice beach bag and never returned it. It was one incident in a looong line of things that made me phase myself out of the "friendship". Which was actually a very one sided relationship between a user and a doormat. Don't miss her one bit!

As for the cake shop, she could have easily said "this is a treat for my friend for helping me with her suitcase, when we get home you boys can have XX at home as a treat". Easy peasy.

'Oh. I see'.

And don't lend her the fucking case.

I hope after she's borrowed the case she doesn't return it all scratched and trashed?! from what you've said so far, you'll get sweet FA back....never mind an iced bun! I'd rethink your friendship, she's a user.

You should have said

"Sorry I can't lend you the case, my kids will see it and only want a holiday too, it will be too expensive"

She's been to collect it.
Just gave her my old battered one.
I've kept my good one.

Can see both sides. It’s only a cake so wouldn’t take her long but asking for a favour right back feels a bit like keeping score. Then again you’ve offered to pay so sounds like she was worried about the boys.

Well that's a first step @marie0675.

If she is able to afford a mini break, she could afford the £42 to get her own - www.debenhams.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/prod_10701_10001_36536+T44740_-1

Use smileybar's response

How old are her boys?

If the bakery is 2 doors down could she have nipped out while they watched TV and then put cake in another bag?

Time for you to pop off to the cake shop then. RIGHT NOW

I can't believe people are agreeing that it may upset the boys!

"No, you can't have a cake today." Full stop, end of conversation.

That's pretty pathetic parenting on her part.

You should have asked her to bake you a cake then instead.

This kind of pathetic parenting winds me off the clock . Why are so many parents dictated to by their children? She is the parent. It doesn't matter if she had to take her two boys into Santa fucking grotto - if the answer is, 'we aren't buying anything for us - we are getting something for the friend who is doing me a favour ' then that's the end of the conversation. No anger, no tantrums.
By avoiding possible difficult situations where a child can learn that they can't always have what they want - they never learn to self regulate and we end up with the sort of entitled demanding children that prevent both her AND her children behaving like a decent human beings !

textED. Texted.
Either you are ok with lending her a case or you aren't. Saying you aren't unless she does your errand first is not really in the spirit of things. Just say no if you don' want to do it.

X post beyondthesky - I just KNOW I would like to spend time with your children

Given OP says the friend does her no favours, it's likely the friend is using her DC as an excuse to say no.

It might just be one of those days where one more tantrum from the kids will send her over the edge! I’ve been there...

I can't believe that she (and others) would avoid doing someone that's helping you out a favour in case your kids whined in a cake shop.

I'm glad you only gave her your old one, she'll probably break it or not bring it back. If she does you can have a little passive aggressive moment at her and tell her you didn't lend her your nice one because you didn't trust her!

How about people learn some bloody manners and replicate a kindness KoolAidPickle or is that just too old fashioned. ?

How about people learn some bloody manners and replicate a kindness KoolAidPickle or is that just too old fashioned. ?

How about people learn some bloody manners and replicate a kindness KoolAidPickle or is that just too old fashioned. ?

Her kids are 12 and 14.
The only reason I asked her to bring the cake is the shop is right next to her house and I've been wanting to try it for ages ..she was coming to mine anyway.
She has to drive past the shop obviously so wasn't going out of her way.
Anyway I'm ordering some online ..£4.50 delivery but at least I can try it

Her kids are 12 and 14.

Sorry, what?!

From the way you/she talks about them I thought they were about four.

Mind you, if her idea of parenting has always been the same, it's hardly surprising they're this age and still acting like babies.

Yeah one is going in year 8 and the other in year 9 I think.