Family

[CantBelieveImHere]

Hi Long time lurker here,
I just need to see if I am being unreasonable about my family situation.
Abit of background......
I am one of 3 now grown children and me and the eldest get on great but the middle sibling has been nothing but trouble.
All throughout my childhood it's always been DB has issues, needs extra attention, extra toys extra this that and the other.
Then as he got older her would purposely break things to get new whilst me and eldest had 2nd hand goods still not a problem tbh.
Then growing up he went from job to job to job never holding one down for long. There has been stealing by him from our mothers handbag, her wedding and engagement rings disappeared (he suddenly had a new discman (yes it was years ago) then there was stealing from his employers and myself.
Anyway the same cycle has been going on for years and I moved out to get away from it all as it was really badly affecting me especially when we had bailiffs knocking on the door for him.
Anyway fast forward to the last few years I'm now married and divorced (mentally abusive relationship) and back living with the parent until I get back on my feet.
Middle brother married a lovely girl and had a child (still being in and out of work) anyway after the child was born he decided he needed more attention and cheated on his wife, she found out and confronted him so he got physical with her whilst she was holding their dc.
He got kicked out and moved in with OW until she figured him out. over the past year he has weaseled his way back into his marriage (plus she's come into money) and now they are back playing happy families.
I'm fine with that as it's her decision my question is after all he has put the family though and me being totally against any form of violence to women, is it wrong for me to want NC for my mental health and sanity from all the lies and crap that comes with him.
Thanks for the read.

I think you should have gone NC much sooner, but I understand it's not an easy decision.

After him being violent to his wife on top of everything else, I'd definitely cut him off for good.

I have a very similar sounding DB, although he hasn't managed to hold down a relationship like yours has. I don't think my DB would notice if I went NC, he doesn't care enough. But if it helps you I think you should.

Thank you
The thing is I'm being made out to be the bad guy in all this and currently living back with the parents makes it even more difficult as they turn up unannounced and stay for hours, so I normally take myself off somewhere so there is no confrontation, but I'm the difficult one.....supposedly

@modes tbh I think he's very manipulative with his wife and mentally abusive as he's very critical of her and he kicks off at the slightest thing, so I think she's scared to go it alone. They have recently had a 2 dc as well which I have seen once as I'm being a bitch

It sounds like you're torn between seeing his family but not seeing him.

To avoid being seen as the bad guy while you're home could you stay and talk to everyone except him? Don't make it obvious, just don't approach him in any way, give the shortest possible answers or be distant and icily polite.

I think it's fine to prioritise your mental health. I'd be concerned for your SiL and nephew/niece - although obviously they're not your responsibility and hopefully SiL has support from her own family.

Very difficult as you are living with your parents. As soon as you can be independent I’d go NC. In the meantime do the absolute minimum interaction without upsetting your parents. You have my sympathy op, I know how toxic siblings can be.