To expect effective bottom wiping at 7yo

[Whatcouldpossiblygowrong]

I'm curious to know about the peer 'average' ability at 7 for good bottom wiping after a number 2. I'm also interested in ideas to help him develop this skill.

My son used to always ask for help (until last year) we've been saying it's best he at least tries and that we should't still need to help him. He now does it himself and is embarrassed on the odd occasion he gives up and asks us (tmi - this is if the stool is at all soft). Most times he does it but takes a very long time and sometimes eventually confesses that there was some poop left behind in pants, on him etc so I think he's still struggling.
I've asked him about the whole thing and he just says he doesn't understand why he can't do it and however hard he tries there's always poop left.
I saw a video where you help develop the skill by using balloon covered in peanut butter and wiping it off - looked gross but he loved doing it. However it made no difference! I've also tried wet wipes but he hates the feel of it so doesn't want to use them. Any ideas?

My 6.5yo can manage unless it's a very "squishy" one. Sometimes he uses wipes rather than paper though (I've taught him to put the wipes in the bin not the toilet).

I've a 10 year old that doesn't always seem to clean himself properly.
No amount of talking or discussing the issue helps.
He was fine after he was trained, think it's laziness on his part

My 7yo has been doing it entirely independently since 4, maybe younger. I can’t even remember the last time I wiped her bum

Perhaps something like this may help if he hates wetwipes: www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01N8VHHYB/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_jaUABbC671CB4?tag=mumsnetforum-21

My 7 year old is hit and miss. The advice I got (it was actually for older SN children) was for them to practise wiping peanut butter from their hand which helped (but put me off peanut butter for a while).

Thanks -
SadTrombone - I don't think he would like that as the issue with wet wipes is they are wet and cold - same with this i imagine

IcecreamFace - see my post - tried the same with ballon - still can't eat PB -but it didn't seem to help - we spent so long telling him not to rush and now he does it so slowly and carefully t's like he's trying too hard iyswim and then it takes forever and eventually ends up drying

Imissgin - Yep - my other little one - 4 - has been totally independent for some time - trouble is it causes the older one a lot of jealousy ad embarrassment

My (just) 8 year old dd is fucking useless. She’s just bone idle and doesn’t even try a lot of the time (literally doesn’t bother at all). Bribery didn’t work so now I’ve told her she won’t get her pocket money if I find any pants with poo in (not talking about a little bit that she might have missed, more full on skid marks where she hasn’t bothered at all). She has wipes too so no excuse, it’s disgusting.

You might be able to tell that this drives me mad.

Yeah it drives me nuts too - but it's not laziness on his part - he gets so embarrassed about it and upset if we talk about it that I don't think it would be fair to punish him for not managing it. I've tried rewards but that hasn't cracked it.

OP- would still recommend trying it. It's not the same "feel" as wet wipes.

All right, TMI, but from personal experience, if one's stool is soft, greater effort is required for cleanliness than if it is a little firmer (sphincter can close off less sharply, so to speak).

Investigating the diet might help, levels of roughage/fibre vs carbohydrate perhaps. In Aus, I am told a number of dieticians do skype, if that's not handy where you are and they will give you pointers. Sometimes, just a little tweak of the diet is enough.

Mine are fine 7 and nearly 6, unless they have diarrhoea. My DH on the other hand is dreadful, he claims it's his piles.

My 8 year old DS is pretty terrible, he just has poor hygiene generally and doesn’t seem to give a fuck. I don’t know why! This isn’t how he has been taught and none of us are like that, he’s just extremely lazy...

I feel like I’m always nagging at him but he doesn’t wipe his backside properly at all, I’ve caught him just wiping it once and thinking that’s sufficient before now. As a result, there’s almost always skidders in his undies. He has to be reminded every day to change his undies else he just wouldn’t and I also always have to ask if he’s washed his damn hands. He somehow always leaves school filthy too, hands and nails dirty in particular. Drives me berserk. No SN, he’s just a lazy sod.

Mousefunky yes my son too has little awareness or care about hair, face, hands nails etc, we are constantly nagging. But unlike the rest of it - he seems v embarrassed about the toilet stuff and is desperate to be able to sort it.

TheSandGroper - good call - he's a fruit monster so that could not help - I don't inspect the stools but will see if I can cut down the fruit if it helps

My friend has a little rhyme he taught he DDs. "Wipe til it's white", i.e. the paper. Seems to help the DDs remember when to keep wiping.

My Ds was like this - much better now but some of that is age and some me going through a home yogurt and sough dough bread making phase – he was only one who went mad for the stuff and he had a lot less runny issues and smelly issues since.

What about a little hand held mirror to double check? Thicker toilet paper (Costco has a soft thick 3 ply). Sitting backwards on the toilet so his legs are spread wider apart.

Or as my DH's northern friend says "until you present a clean sheet"

MrsMarigold is be inclines to enliven your DH. I suffered with a bout of piles and my underwear was awful, I had to use liners. It was horrific.

Oh god the typos! I'd be inclined to believe...