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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If you won the lottery, would you go public?

305 replies

Frosty6611 · 08/08/2018 11:15

If you won the jackpot on the lottery would you go public? I think i’d just tell my close friends and family and start a new life somewhere.

OP posts:
MsBagelLady · 09/08/2018 07:11

Nope, no way!
I don't understand why anyone would.
There was a man who won and went public and either his daughter got kidnapped was in danger of being, because people knew the family now had money.

TiffinBox · 09/08/2018 08:08

Well I wouldn't tell anyone I'd bought holiday homes, just that I'm going to x place & staying at a s/c place.

With regards to siblings, I'd first say I'd got lucky with premium bonds (I do have some) or that I've received an inheritance from a wealthy friend. It depends, I could tell them outright and trust them not to say anything. It will never happen of course so I don't need to worry about it.

pilates · 09/08/2018 08:20

Definitely not

TorviBrightspear · 09/08/2018 08:21

Oh, I've got a plan should pigs be flying and I win.

People are much more likely to swallow something if it contains a little bit of truth, so admitting to a smaller win, that's just enough to buy house and a bit of a better car would work, I'd quietly resign at work, work out the notice and nobody thinks twice.

Vague murmurings of a business where I work from home would also work.

Sadly, I've come out of an abusive relationship, so now have plenty of experience in giving out misinformation. The DCs are good at keeping secrets, but I'd give them only what they need to know. And some allowance to spend.

TorviBrightspear · 09/08/2018 08:23

But yes, agree with TiffinBox that you don't have to admit to owning the holiday home, just that you're going there, and similar sort of thing for other stuff.

Not actually lying, just not telling everything.

screenscream · 09/08/2018 09:01

Would people who want money get more demanding or even threatening if they think it's a lottery win instead of an inheritance, and why would that be? Like thinking the money came free so everybody who wants some deserves a share?

I also wonder if you do the thing where you say your business or investments have been more successful, that some people might still try to get handouts from you.

fuzzyfozzy · 09/08/2018 14:17

So would the brother who didn't offer me a week in his caravan or always wants to go halves on a meal when he has more people and they've all had three courses and wine... do I offer him some of my winnings??

Mousefunky · 09/08/2018 14:38

Not a chance. I remember reading about a guy who won it but still wanted to lead the same life. He tried to stay in his humble two up two down somewhere up north but whenever he went to his local pub, all of his friends there were bitter and started to ostracise him. He had to leave eventually, it pretty much destroyed his life.

I’d keep it as private as possible and only tell close family and friends but I would definitely spend it on a large house somewhere new Grin.

Bestseller · 09/08/2018 14:47

No, I wouldn't tell a soul beyond DH.

I'd find ways to help others quietly, but I'd be really worried it would change friends' and family attitude towards us.

Actually, I don't play anyway - I have an uncomfortable feeling that a big win would bring more misery than joy and my Dad always refers to it as a tax on the poor.

ankasi · 09/08/2018 15:32

I had an aunt who won a significant amount in the lottery in the 80s, IIRC it was somewhere around 100K Deutschmark.
They made the error of telling the family and soon everyone was asking them for money. Of course they gave money to family members, as a loan, but never got any of it back. My grandmother had form for trying to extort guilt tripping my aunt into paying for a lot of stuff.

They went diving to the Maldives twice, bought a new car and wanted to save the rest, but in the end there wasn't much money left because someone always "needed to borrow" money for one thing or another and they couldn't say "NO".
My aunt died first, twenty years ago, her husband two years later, almost penniless. It was really quite a sad story.

EscapeTheCastle · 09/08/2018 15:50

I remember an interview with a Camelot person, one of the people who visit you if you win big. He said it's very common for the winner not to tell anyone, even their spouse!

I can understand this as I know my other half has lottery plans that I don't really like very much. I don't want to move away for example!

Harrypotterfan1604 · 09/08/2018 15:52

No way! I’d book a nice holiday and go away from the world to process it

Tumbleweed101 · 09/08/2018 15:54

Wouldn’t tell any one and would only help family and friends who I knew before the win so I knew they were genuine friends.

doorframe32 · 09/08/2018 15:56

''Having a huge amount of money frightens me''

yep my mum used to say that money solves a lot of problems but it also brings a complete new set of problems and she was right-often people cannot see that though until it is too late.

sohorrible · 09/08/2018 16:06

I don't really understand so many people being so worried about people knowing! I know some people have CF friends and family but not most of us, surely? I'm sure none of my close friends or family would ask for anything. And I'm also sure that I could easily just say no to any random person or 3rd cousin twice removed that comes begging. What's the big deal?

Not that I'd go PUBLIC, but I wouldn't hide it from people that know me.

doorframe32 · 09/08/2018 16:10

''I don't know why people go public. I think Camelot puts the pressure on as it's good publicity and only offers help and financial advice if you go public.''

Don't mean to sound like a stuck up toff but often they go public in that they are not the sophisticated or wise type that win and are the uneducated type that are lacking in common sense and easily taken advantage of or looking for fame. Same reason why you hear of them lottery winners who squander all the cash away-it's because most of the people that play the lotto are statistically those that never had money, the trashy chav/white trashy type if you want to be blunt. That's why they go public cos as people they are not very bright or classy, I've seen it a million times.

Ikabod · 09/08/2018 16:10

I wouldn't tell anyone outside my immediate family. I would give my Dad and siblings a set amount on the promise that a) they told no-one about the win and b) they wouldn't ask for more (unless it was an extreme situation, like paying for life-saving healthcare). I'd tell my friends it was inheritance on DH's side (or some distant great aunt) and let them discuss it amongst themselves 😄

Bestseller · 09/08/2018 16:12

It's not people asking for things that worries me sohorrible, it's a change of attitude towards us, some jealously perhaps and an "it's alright for them" attitude. I think it would change the way some people view us and respond to us quite a lot.

lalalalyra · 09/08/2018 16:14

I wouldn't go public.

I'd tell no-one for a while until there was a smaller win - say 4/5 million.

That way you can buy a nice house, pay for a superb big family holiday and then buy the people closest to me a house/car etc and give them a nice sum of money without it being like "Oh she won 160 million and gave me 100k? how tight!" It would seem more like the money had been split up between us all.

Then if anything big needed paying for or anyone questioned anything my 'investment that Camelot recommended did well this month/year' would cover it.

The rest would be used for a charitable trust and only those very closest to me would have any idea about it (so basically DH, MIL and BIL until my kids were adults and old enough to be trusted).

screenscream · 09/08/2018 16:16

What, doorframe, do you think a lottery win is wasted on common types? Grin

lalalalyra · 09/08/2018 16:16

I think a lot of people go public inadvertantly by their initial "OMG we've won the lottery" reactions.

And also like the couple who won recently whose ticket nearly got binned - the lad in the shop knew they'd won big, so his boss knew, probably anyone else in the shop at the time knew. Once that lid is off the story you can't put it back on.

doorframe32 · 09/08/2018 16:18

''I don't really understand so many people being so worried about people knowing! I know some people have CF friends and family but not most of us, surely? I'm sure none of my close friends or family would ask for anything.''

Are you really that naive? People knowing you have money creates many problems-money and wealth do funny things to people who have it and those that don't have it. I have seen friends stop speaking to their other friends[or just avoid them] as they were so bitter over their friends personal fortunes that they don't have. Believe me, jealously is all too common a virtue and you would certainly have friends and family asking for handouts.

NorbertTheDragon · 09/08/2018 16:19

I definitely wouldn't want publicity. I'd hate being all over the news.

I don't have siblings or parents, so no one to cause hassle with me.

I didn't think about not telling the kids. They'd definitely go blabbing, but they're teens so wouldn't be oblivious to something happening. I'd probably tell them I'd one less than I had done.

I'd tell my best friend for sure, she's been my friend since we were 13, through thick and thin, and we'd have a lot of fun!

I wouldn't move into a massive house anyway. My housework skills are crap but I also hate having people in my house so couldn't get a cleaner. I've got a list of houses I want. None of them are over £1million! I could quite easily say I got an inheritance as no one round here knows my relatives.

There was another lottery thread earlier on the week and I said I'd buy a ticket and forgot! It should have been me! Grin

screenscream · 09/08/2018 16:20

I would give my Dad and siblings a set amount on the promise that a) they told no-one about the win and b) they wouldn't ask for more (unless it was an extreme situation, like paying for life-saving healthcare).

That wouldn't happen just because you wanted it - they could just promise you that was all, take the money then ask for more later, seeing you as a soft touch.

sohorrible · 09/08/2018 16:22

Are you really that naive?

No. Maybe I just have better friends than most people. I've known my closest friends since we were 5 or younger. Over 30 years. They wouldn't be asking me for handouts or giving me attitude.