Noisy two faced neighbours

[Mummy2aRockstar]

This is a bit of a rant but I need to get it off my chest, sorry.

A bit of back story - we live in a row of four terraced houses and get on well with number 1 and 4 (we are number 2). We invite each over for bbqs, our kids play together and all have a laugh.

Tonight 1 and 4 were sat in 1's back garden having a laugh and a drink and making lots of noise. Not a problem until it was still going on at 10:30 and their garden is right outside my son's bedroom and in this heat his window is open. His bedtime is 7:30 so by this time he was pretty grouchy so my partner went round and asked them nicely if they could just tone it down a bit, they said they were going in soon so that was that.

Until my partner had left and they obviously assumed they couldn't be heard and started with snarky comments like well it's not a school night and number 4's kid was there.

Number 4 don't have a set bedtime so their 4 year old can still be up gone 11 some nights.
My son does have a set bedtime so he can be a well rested, rounded individual and not a grouch, curled up in any comfy spot morning he's tired.

Sorry for the long post but I don't think we were unreasonable to politely ask them not to shout and laugh at the top of their voice so late at night.

At least now I don't have to waste my time being friendly with people so blatantly two faced.

Not sure this is worth falling out with your neighbours over really. And you sound very preachy in terms of your parenting style. My kids often stay up late in the holidays, works for some and not for others.

YANBU, your DH asked nicely, for them to please keep it down a bit because your DS was trying to sleep, some kids need their sleep. Why can't people just be considerate of other people? I think 10:30pm was a reasonable time to have gone out and said can you please keep it down a bit.

Yanbu

Out of interest, had they invited you to this gathering?

YANBU they do sound annoying. Maybe they were just reacting defensively since your DS was tucked up in bed and one of theirs was still running around late at night. Still not very nice though.

We weren't invited round this time but assumed it was an impromptu thing so it wasn't a problem.

To the previous poster who said I sound preachy, I was only adding in that their child stays up late so as to explain the situation better. He seems to be fine with very little sleep but unfortunately my 6 year old son doesn't cope well without a full 12 hours and we all suffer when he's tired.

YANBU

Whilst they are being arseholes, if you've always gotten on well with them, I'd grit my teeth and try to forget about it, it's not worth having hostility with your neighbours over, they do it again then that's another matter but, while it's not an excuse to act so catty I'd try to put it down to them having a few too many and acting out of character.

You sound quite smug about your "rounded" child.

No, you now don't need to waste your time being friendly... sounds like a lovely place to live!

Well rested, rounded individual

This is the problem.

I live in a close of just 5 houses, and if my neighbours are having a late bbq I wouldn’t go round and rock the boat as we all get on fine. Take in each other parcels, keep the close tidy, watch out for each other’s houses if away, swap cctv footage if there’s been suspicious activity, and so on.

Don’t be so precious, as you’ll just cut off your nose to spite your face. It’s the summer holidays. You’ll just have to send grumpy to be early tonight.

YANBU
Since when did peoples right to have a good time in the garden outweigh other peoples need for sleep. I can't believe some of the responses on here. YANBU for your ds too have a bedtime ffs
Selfish of them and upsetting for you to hear them badmouthing your dh too. Just no need.

Wow, Op I have a child the same as yours, so I get where you're coming from. that was more than reasonable to leave it that long before asking them to tone it down. summer holidays or not being loud at 10.30pm is just not on, people have work the next day its not all about the kids.

I think some of the responses here are from the "my kids don't need to be tucked up in bed by a certain time" brigade, so they don't truly understand how much it messes up the next day when your kids a grouch.

It's one night! Can you not moved your son to your bed or just deal with a grouchy child? What will you do when he gets older and has homework and earlier school starts make him got bed at 6?

This is a non issue in the holidays.

Why should she move the kids rather than the neighbours be quieter at 10.30

This is a non issue in the holidays. Nope, people still need sleep. Also if it's hot and people have their windows open, why should they have to listen to drunken noisy twats shouting in the garden? so selfish.

Again I've been taken completely out of context, I'm not saying well rounded individual to say my child is better. It was a more polite way of saying that when my child hasn't had enough sleep he is an asshole.
I am not being smug or attacking the other child, I am referring to my own who is Jeckle and Hyde depending on how much sleep he has.

Yes I understand it is one night but as I have a wedding to attend today with my ds why should he have to be tired and potentially kick off at my brothers wedding?
I have no problem with anyone having fun but holidays or not sometimes kids need to sleep.
Our back gardens are over 30 ft long so they could easily have taken their noise away from the houses.

I'd actually like to know about 3. Is there an issue with 3?

I do t think YABU to ask hem to keep it down. It's hard to get kids to sleep in the heat as well as having noises too. We have had to start using the iPad to play white noise over the top and get out LB to focus on it. Plus I stand and fan him with he window closed and open it again once he's asleep.

Our neighbours have parties all the time and these usually go on till at least 1am (Saturday was 4am) with everyone shouting and hollering outside. Their kids are the same age as mine but they seem ok staying up so they help by kicking the ball at the fence constantly. What mainly concerns us though is the beer cans and bottles they throw over the fence!

Just have a word politely today but let it go

Number 3 are new and we have tried a few times to involve them in our gatherings but most of the time they don't turn up and the one time they did they were already drunk and threw up in my garden during my son's 6th birthday party

@Mummy2aRockstar that's shocking behaviour! Who turns up to a 6th birthday party drunk?!

We were outside at 10 the other night but were well aware of neighbours children in bed with windows wide open. We spoke in very quiet tones because I didn't want to disturb anyone, knowing that parents had work the next day and children go to childcare.
So Yanbu at all.

I hate neighbour noise. But if I got on well with them and the noise was a one-off I wouldn’t say anything. Cut people some slack.

I knew there would be a Thing about no 3.

"Two of my neighbours talk too loud in the garden at nights, but Mr and Mrs Osborne at Number 3 seem all right so far, apart from the bat aviary in the garden..."

I don't see how they have been two faced at all. They are allowed to not be delighted at you telling them to shut up! It sounds as if it mihgt just as easily have been you there making a noise and keeping them awake, just this time it wasn't.

When did we tell them to shut up? We asked politely for them not stop the shouting that was all. Also when we have them over we move our do to the end of the garden, over 30ft away from the houses so anyone wanting to sleep or relaxed isn't disturbed. Also to those telling me to cut them some slack or get off my high horse, this isn't the first time they have made noise and usually it isn't a problem and we never say anything. This is the first time we asked them just to tone it down as we had to be up early for the wedding, so hardly unreasonable.