To wish I'd never started successfully bf twins?

[villainousbroodmare]

I'm breastfeeding my lovely 10 week old twins. They love it and so do I.

I have plenty of milk; in fact it's much easier than with DS1 (now 3 yo), when I had oversupply and all that goes with it.

I purposely gave a bottle of formula to each baby every day from birth so as to avoid bottle refusal down the line. They never relished it and are now refusing it completely.

I don't even mind that 90% of their care is on me or that I've barely left the house for two months. What I am really getting upset about is the situation when I have to return to work at the beginning of October.

The babies will be in the care of an experienced childminder in our home. She started work yesterday to give everyone a good chance to get acquainted. I also had a home consult yesterday with an eye-wateringly expensive baby sleep consultant. I discussed the bottle situation with her and she suggested getting someone else to give the bottle, to switch to a different teat, to rather give EBM and to get the person to give a 10pm dream feed as the babies are relaxed and hungry.

I have just paid the childminder double to come back and try this. The chilled twin, the one who usually will at least glug a bit out of a bottle, flat out refused and I'm now pouring precious EBM down the sink and wondering WTF to do now. It's the other baby I'm concerned about really; she is highly strung and will scream till she pukes if she gets upset.

DH is great but not nearly as patient as this lady and invariably exhausted at 10pm.

Fuck fuck fuck.

Your nanny will have strategies, loads of people will have stories of fervent bottle refusers who take milk at nursery or with other caregivers without much bother.

(Do make sure you have nannytax set up properly - care in your own home will be by an employee not a self employed childminder)

We're you still there at the time? Dd was a right pita when I tried to express for her while I was there. She would take it when I wasn't. Not only that, you've still got about 8 weeks for the babies to change. Might get better....

I'm afraid I don't have any advice but I do feel your pain. My 8 month old has never taken a bottle and hasn't taken keenly to weaning. I'm due to return to work next month (albeit only 1 day per week to begin with) and I currently can't leave her for a day. I never expected this to be the most stressful thing about having a baby! It feels like every other baby takes a bottle. You have my sympathies!

My DD was breastfed and had never successfully taken a bottle (aged 3 months) when I went to a close friend's hen do for the day and left her with DH. When she got hungry enough she eventually accepted one! Hope it works out for you OP.

My daughter was BF until 7 months and flat out refused a bottle (wouldn't have BM or formula) until she hit 7 months. After trying Tommee Tippee and MAM bottles with no luck, we tried cheap Asda Little Angels bottles and they worked, with a bit of coaxing and my sister giving Cow & Gate formula to her, rather than expensive formula in an expensive bottle! After that first time with my sister she would happily have it from me or DP, and now at 12 months she has a breastfeed before breakfast, a cup of cows milk in the afternoon, and a half-formula half-cows at bedtime. Currently weaning her off the formula. All fine.

Good luck. It's so so hard doing all the feeds so I sympathise, especially with twins.

OP - firstly, Well done. It seems like you are doing everything right.

Secondly, breathe.

10 week old babies are different to 20 week old babies. I remember being convinced that my twins would never break their screaming til they puke habits but they got a bit bigger and stronger and managed bottles and then gave me a load of other things to stress over

It sounds like You've covered all your bases and you're doing the best you can. Babies adapt when they have to, hence the professional telling you to get someone else to bottle feed.

Not sure this is for you but have tried dummies? Not sure if any professional would advocate it but it helped me switch away from CONSTANTLY BF my two. started about 10 weeks old, I think.

Finally, in the kindest way, I'd suggest DH needs to find the patience from somewhere. If you can tandem feed, look after three kids, and get everything set up for going back to work so soon, that's the least he can do.

Yep. Thanks for advice and affirmation.

Flibberty Childminder will be properly set up taxwise etc (we're not in Europe and she's not a "nanny" in the professional sense I suppose, just a kind sensible older lady who's used to babies. She's very much looking to me for instruction though.)

Flaskfan and Cherub I was tactfully in the next room listening to the protest turning into a howl. But yes, definitely there's a lot to be said for leaving them to it.

Sushi thanks

Redpanda you know what, I don't even mind doing all the feeds. I have had a bit of a nasty wakeup call now though in that my indolent routineless bf habits need to change! I had been feeding to sleep and as of yesterday am now in a swaddle-soother-into-bed-pat-on-the-arse-and-watch-the-clock routine. I'd forgotten what an absolute PITA it is to be trying to get infants to adhere even roughly to the clock but I do need to leave the thing manageable for the nanny... it's not as if she can bf to sleep and she'll have her work cut out for her as it is.

Adream thanks for your advice. I had tried the odd dummy without much luck but as of yesterday both are taking one reasonably well... I have the matching bottles so hopefully the one may help the other...
Yes, DH must just cowboy up. He is working desperately long hours and is taking DS off my hands almost completely as well so I'm somewhat forgiving of the midnight zombie mode, but yes, he's just gotta do it.

Firstly well done. I BF my twins, it was completely exausting and I thought I would never get a second to myself ever again but the did eventually take a bottle and settled really well at nursery when I went back to work. I echo what others have said, keep trying and they will do it eventually- mine were better if someone else gave them the bottle and when I was back at work they just took it no bother and I fed them at night....I was shocked but very pleased. They are 4 now and it seems like a lifetime ago but I remember how stressful it was!

Ahhh, takes me back. My twins had a bottle at about 8 weeks when I got mastitis so carried on bf with the blissful assumption they'd take a bottle again when the time came. At 7 months, they flatly refused. It took us about a month of trying every different bottle / teat / temperature / feed time we could until they eventually took a bottle. Lots of tears mostly mine but agree that they change / adapt quickly at that age and October is still 2 months away nearly.

Good luck x

My DS1 was like this initially had a bottle then point blank refused. When he was three months I had to go away for the day for an important meeting (had never left DS for more than an hour before). Left him with his dad and he point blank refused the bottle of formula. I fed him before I left at 8 and he still hadn't had anything at12 (he was a ravenous baby and was obviously hungry and just screamed the house down). DH was stressing out and considering taking the train to the town I was in and getting me to breastfeed him between meetings. His mum who was there too insisted it would be fine and he wouldn't starve himself. It was true, eventually he downed an entire bottle and promptly passed out.

It will be OK. There might be a tricky few days but problems will be ironed out and they'l fit into a new routine.