To think that moving back in with your parents when you are a parent yourself is very very difficult?

[Strawbroke]

I am on Day 8 of a 12 week stint of living with my parents. With my 3 DC's. At age 39. Completion on my new build house is earmarked for 10 weeks and 6 days. Delayed so I had already given notice on my rental property.

I'm not sure I'm going to survive this for several reasons.

1. I have a boyfriend, who for space and travel reasons I am only going to be able to see 1 night a week, when I stay at his when DC's are at their DF's. So very little sex and I miss it (we don't live together but saw each other 4/5 times a week. But I really miss it

1. My dad. He is slightly controlling. I have not watched TV for an entire week. He insists on police interceptors every night. I sneaked Real Housewives on for 5 mins and between DS1 and him saying this is such crap, I turned it off. They are right it's crap but I'm a social worker. I need fluffy crap for a bit after work.

1. My DC's. Youngest DD (7) has regressed to a toddler in regards to sleeping and I am currently sat on the landing reading and ignoring her asking when I'm coming to bed (me and her are sharing a double and DS2 is in a single next to us).

1. My parents are tee total. I'm not.

1. Food. Set meal times are big in this house. And there's lots of discussions about how much the DC's are eating throughout the meal. And constant questions about whether I want more.

1. My dad (very lovely but also won't take the hint) makes me a cup of tea every morning when I'm in the shower so very gratefully I have to gulp down tepid tea when I NEED coffee. I need it. I can't drink tea.

AIBU to think this might either send me into a lunatic asylum or I'll stay stuck in the teenager mode I seem to be slipping very quickly into, forever. Would a caravan be better? It would wouldn't it.

I'm very grateful. Very very grateful but I really think evolutionary wise and developmentally we should NOT boomerang back as fully grown adults. It leads to no good for anyone.

Would they disapprove of you had a couple of glasses of wine?

I think you need them

A caravan on the drive could be perfect, do you know anyone to loan you one for 12 weeks?

I have a good relationship with my parents but I know I’d struggle with this. I’d revert back to being a stroppy teen again.

Take a leaf from childhood and have a tick off calendar on your wall by your bed. You could even turn it into a reward chart!

Failing that stash wine under your bed!

They wouldn't directly disapprove re the wine but they would constantly be saying

'Oh we can tell she's on the wine'; 'Oh we can smell that wine from over here'

Thus rendering it's relaxing quality useless

My mum just asked me if I need a cup of tea at 20.59, 22.02 and 22.05. And since coming downstairs I have been asked 17 questions...including a question if DS2 should go to be, which was actually a 'Take this children to bed'.

I know I'm in the wrong. I know IBU. But it is driving me slightly up the wall!

Oh gawd you have my sympathy Straw I just know I couldn't hack it.

You've actually described what it would be like if I did, even down to the controlling DF, the commenting on your tv viewing and especially the fucking constant yapping about what the dc are eating as though it's the most fascinating topic of conversation ever .

12 weeks ! Yes, frankly I'd prefer a caravan.

I did it with the in laws. For 13 months. Only one DC though, but it nearly broke me.

Source a caravan and get the hell out of there.

Box of wine and watch telly in your bedroom on a tablet with headphones in?? A difficult situation but one I have some experience of, as a non parent. Also my brother was forced to live at mums house with his daughter for months! He survived by essentially spending most of his time at home in his room.
On the tea/coffee thing you have to stop dropping hints. "Dad its sweet of you to make me a drink in the morning but I drink coffee in the morning usually"

I can't watch a tablet in the room as my DF turns of the wifi at 9pm. House rule apparently. Thank fuck for 4G on my phone. The calendar on the wall with a strike out countdown is a GREAT idea.

13 months with IN LAWS Jesus. You are a better woman than me Laurie

Your lucky my new build is 18 months behind.

He turns off the WiFi at 9?? Can you not have a conversation with him about that? It's not like it costs extra!

Although as I type that I'm thinking of how my dad carries on when DB and SIL stay with their kids so I can guess the answer is something along the lines of "My house, my rules"...

Do you really think you can hack it for 12 weeks?

I did it. Due to new build completion dates.. It was amazing though I almost didn’t want to leave 😂 nice to have your own space after though.

OMG OP I feel you’re pain.

DH and I moved in with my parents when this house was being built (we sold our house within 2 days and our new house hadn’t even been started). DS1 was a year old (he is now 21). We were very grateful that they put us up but it was the worst time of our lives.

My dad did a manual job, DH has a desk job. My parents thought that DH should wash their car every week because well DH sat behind a desk and that’s not a tiring job .

My mother thought that I should have stuck up for her when DH disagreed with her over the Bill Clinton/Monica Lewinsky drama. She came home from work and basically said that DH had to leave if he didn’t apologise.

My mother was horrified when I didn’t wash the chicken before roasting it (she wasn’t eating it) and said she was disappointed and couldn’t wait to tell my dad when he came in from work.

Turning the WIFI off though is just pure evilness.

Set up hotspot on your phone and tether your tablet to it.

13 months with IN LAWS Jesus

I think I was actually traumatised by it.

I'm always popping up on threads like this telling people not to do it.

I'm currently living with In laws.....we have 3 children between us and one due any day and there is actually no timescale on the horizon for us leaving. It. Is. Unbearable.

I did 3 years with parents.

Getting up was a set time. No lie ins. Dating not allowed. No going out, they were grandparents not babysitters.

No wine. Unless I wanted lots of 'lush' comments.

No spending money, as I was supposed to be saving every penny.

No TV of my choice. Whatever they wanted only.

Strict routine on everything. Constant meddling in my parenting. Constant undermining.

Luckily my absolute hatred at living with them drove me to start my own business and I worked worked worked flat out for 3 years. Then left.

If my kids ever stay with me with their own children I will be the complete opposite of my parents. I'll be sharing the wine for a start!

Do you think they're enjoying having you mope around their, repeat their, house? Did you expect them to change their lifestyle to suit you? Find a short-term rental, see if that's better.

Oh god, you have my sympathies, we're on month 11 here, hoping for a move in date in September. If we all live that long. The current most annoying issue is the constant not so subtle hints about potty training my toddler, who is not ready to potty train yet. I can't imagine that potty training with 4 adults in a house, coming from two very different schools of thought on the matter, will go well. At least we can drink wine to our hearts' content.

+1 on jgjgjgjgjg for using your phone for internet access. You might have to buy more data but being able to retreat to your room and watch something / chat / email is going to be worth it.

Tilly well said. I'm sure that it's difficult for OP but it must be difficult for her parents having lots of extra people in the house and disrupting their routine.

I'm just here again to add and
I don't understand why anyone would bother turning the wifi off but then I've hard harsh words with my mum about nearly all the things you mention. Like she rang me to tell me she was worried about my brother because he'd bought some beer and had had one ONE after he'd put his daughter to bed "do you think he's got a problem" . She used to turn off her WiFi but we told her that the reason her connection was dodgy and modem kept breaking was because they weren't meant to be fiddled with.......

There's always one on here who has to tsk tsk isn't there? It was a lighthearted 'I'm going slightly mad' thread as there's not much else for me to do. I'm very grateful and I don't mope. And I said on my OP it's not good for anyone and I feel for my parents too.