To expect a thank you

[Gatecrasher61]

Is it no longer fashionable to say thank you for a wedding gift? I posted on here a couple of years ago after we went to a wedding and didn't get a thank you for our gift. Well it has happened again. This time we gave money as that was what was the request. We put hard cash in the envelope with the card and made sure we gave it to the couple personally, so no chance it went missing.

It has been two months, and no thank you, verbal or written. Is this normal now?

Unless there's been a huge change in wedding etiquette, written thankyou's are the norm. Rude not too. Having said that, my neighbours 15year old daughter always says oh, and you shouldn't have, for gifts or food but never says thank you. Manners etc don't seem so 'taught' as they used to be. Guy who runs corner shop said I'm only one to say hi & thank you even before I was a 'regular' who chats (London for you, I'm from Midlands).

Three recent weddings.
Two sent thank-you's in the form of a wedding picture - which I thought was a really nice touch. The other, that had a much bigger cash amount nothing, and it's not even been mentioned at family events since either.

I wrote thank you letters for wedding presents while on honeymoon. Thank you letters really ought to be personal, in my view. A generic 'thank you for your present' letter is better than nothing, but only just.

I haven't been to a huge amount of weddings, but have never gotten a thank-you card for the cash (normal gift in Ireland) I gave them, as well as the money I spent and holiday days I used going. I think it's very rude, and we sent thank-you cards for our wedding. I probably sent them about a month after the wedding and quite a few people remarked on how "prompt" I was.
It would be nice to be thanked, especially if you've travelled and given a generous gift, even just to acknowledge that they did get it. But in the scheme of things it doesn't really matter

Appalling manners. You gave them £200 cash and just attended an evening do and they haven't acknowledged it? That's shocking. It's certainly enough, more than enough for anyone.

I agree it’s appalling manners and so ironic when so many couples demand so much of their guests by way of bridal showers, week longbhen and stag dos, foreign destination weddings and so on.

I guess they are too tired to do that one last rather dull task and actually thank their guests for their gifts.

So rude. It has also happened to me. And no, saying thanks as an envelope is handed over does not count and generic cards are pretty poor. Imagine sending a card saying Happy Wedding Day without writing their names and a good wish?

I was actually wrong, I did get a thank-you for one wedding
I had a "budget" wedding, and the wedding I got a thank-you card from was "budget" too. The ones I didn't were expensive fancy affairs, so I do think there is a link

That never occurred to me, Matilda, but you're so right.

Yes of course it's good manners to say thank you.

Sometimes there are mix-ups though. People put unlabelled gifts in a gift bag, and the card in there says who it's from. But then someone else "helpfully" puts other cards and unlabelled gifts in there so you don't know who sent what. Or people send two gifts and only label one, as in their mind the gifts are "both together" but by the time the couple sees them, they may not be. Gift tags fall off if only attached with the tiny, not-very-sticky square on the back.

We had a gift which we couldn't thank anyone for, as there was no label. We still have no idea who it was from, but you can't really ask people if they brought you a gift or not!

I never got a thank you, written or verbal, for the money we gave my brother at his wedding. They cashed the cheque, so no mix ups.
So rude.

I got married in March. We sent out a thank you email with a wedding photo attached and put the same message up in the Facebook group. I do feel like this was slightly lazy and might have annoyed some more traditionally-minded guests, however our wedding invites were also sent via email and Facebook (because paper ones seemed unnecessary and wasteful) so I hope that in that context it wasn't seen as a big deal.

We were not the fastest at sending out our (written) thank you cards (possibly 7 months after our wedding) but we had to wait for photographs to come back. On the other hand; DH cousin and his now wife were wed last December and we did not receive a thank you card from them for our cash gift (substantial amount in card, handed directly to groom) but PIL and SIL both received a thank you card months ago from them with photos inside... not sure what to make of it really!!