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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

With DH and his "you better not give it to me" (sick bug)

14 replies

SalveGrumio · 07/08/2018 17:19

I have a D&V bug, most likely from dd who had it over the weekend, although it is also going around my office.

DH has come home from work, to pick the kids up and after asking how I am feeling (bloody rough), said "you better not give it to me".

He always says this, especially with sickness but also colds. As if somehow I have control over the spread of viruses. Obviously I am being careful with hand washing etc, but he's really pissed me off this time.

He has a 'thing' about being ill, especially sickness. He can't cope with vomit (makes him gag and vomit) and hates being sick, will actually try and stop himself being sick. But still, I don't get mad at the kids if I catch something, or mad at people in my office. It's one of those things.

AIBU or over sensitive?

OP posts:
SpottingTheZebras · 07/08/2018 17:20

From what you have posted, it sounds like you are being over sensitive.

Original poster
SalveGrumio · 07/08/2018 17:23

Thanks ;) As I was writing it I did wonder. Man I feel so rough. And I had an interview tomorrow that I can't attend now.

OP posts:
BeenThereDone · 07/08/2018 17:23

Just lick him, get it over with. Grin

RebelRogue · 07/08/2018 17:26

Both me and OH say that,even threaten or quarantine the other on the sofa.
We also play the pass the blame game.DD insists last bout of cold was OH's fault. I obviously agree.Grin

xoguineas · 07/08/2018 17:26

I say this to DP as I genuinely have a phobia of being sick. I don't mean it to be insensitive or rude, so I think you're being a little over-sensitive. Sorry you're feeling crappy, hope you feel better soon Thanks

gamerchick · 07/08/2018 17:26

Just lick him, get it over with

Bare in mind vomit makes any sick bug air bourne for a short time. This is why were usually stuffed when our kids get one no matter how many hand washes we do. Remember to wipe down handles, remotes etc with diluted bleach to kill any lingerers.

Hope you feel better soon Flowers

nomorespaghetti · 07/08/2018 17:26

My dad's a bit like that. Whenever DD2.5 has a (minor toddler) cold he makes such a big fuss about "don't let her give it to me"... So it really pissed me off at the end of last year when he brought a horrible cold to our house, and DD ended up being hospitalised for 3 days with complications from it! It's just one of those things, so i didn't say anything about it, but you can bet that if it'd been the other way around he'd have never let me forget it! All you can do is be as hygienic as possible. It's not like you're going to lick his toothbrush. Hope you feel better soon Flowers

MyRelationshipIsWeird · 07/08/2018 17:28

I’d say it depends how he says it. If he says it as a joke, one of his stock phrases, as it were, then I’d let it go. If he’s serious then maybe you need to have a word with him about his lack of sensitivity when you’re feeling shit.

FWIW my DP will still kiss me and hang out with me when I’m ill, without ever making me feel bad if I were to pass it on. I’m a bit more cautious than he is, but I’d still never make him feel guilty for passing on germs through normal daily contact.

Most often you’re contagious before an illness even comes out, so you can’t always prevent spreading it. But as long as you’re washing hands and putting tissues in the bin etc then he’s being a bit childish to treat you like you have plague.

Whitecurrents · 07/08/2018 17:28

Are you married to my DH? I get this from him every sodding time. Actually that's not quite true, sometimes I get "You know, I'm not feeling great either" followed by a description of his symptoms. YADDNBU
Feel better soon Flowers

BonnieLass5 · 07/08/2018 17:32

You sound you’re being over sensitive because you feel like 💩. I hope your DH is looking after you though.

mumeeee · 07/08/2018 17:34

DH and I say that to each other. I think you are being over sensitive.

BackforGood · 07/08/2018 17:36

You are being over sensitive, most likely as you feel so horrible.
It is an absolutely normal thing to say, even for people without your dh's phobia of illness.

ShumpaLumpa · 07/08/2018 17:43

YANBU, OP, I'd hate that.

It's not like your shoving your tongue down his throat.

Whenever DD2.5 has a (minor toddler) cold he makes such a big fuss about "don't let her give it to me".

no this is even worse, because he's saying you have responsibility for DD. How about he makes sure she doesn't give it to you?

I get annoyed when DH says stinking out the house with natural smells. Like peeling an orange, or cooking. He's more than happy to eat the bloody food but has the audacity to complain about the smell!

Johnnyfinland · 07/08/2018 17:44

Sorry but I think you are being over sensitive. I have emetophobia and will do anything not to be sick even if that means sitting statue-still for hours or mainlining gaviscon until the nausea passes. I would avoid anyone with a sick bug no matter how much I loved them, if I lived with an OH and had kids and one got a sick bug i would honestly decamp to my parents or a travelodge til they’d recovered. Be thankful he isn’t that extreme!

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