to get involved in DS16's relationship?

[activemumma]

Brief backstory - I have a 16y/o DS who has a long term GF who is lovely, spends a lot of time at our house, has been away with us etc etc. I am really fond of her and they are a good couple (IMO).

DS left his phone on the table last night when he went for a shower and he was getting lots of messages. I did the unthinkable and picked his phone up and had a look! It seems he has been messaging another girl, scrolled back and he has been flirting/sexting and sending underwear pics. I can't believe it - feel horrendous that my son would behave like this and what have we raised(!).

However, he is only 16 so I must remember he is not a married man or anything but still really upset and disappointed, however DS does not know I have looked at his phone and would be really upset. However it's been bugging me every since and I feel awful for his GF. So question is, do I come clean and speak to him about his actions or keep quiet and allow this to continue!

Leave him and his love life alone FFS!

Whilst upset with his behaviour and treatment of his girlfriend, I would be mostly concerned with him sending inappropriate images via text to someone. Surely he has heard enough online safety advise by that age to know not to do this!

The think is, if he left his phone downstairs and messages come through - well, they appear on the screen for anyone to read. You don't need a password, etc. So, depending on what came through at the time, you don't have to actually tell him you accessed previous messages to speak to him about it.

16 year olds think they are oh so grown up, but they really aren't. They are pretty much still kids and often need parental guidance when navigating their way to adulthood.

I'd leave well alone and let him learn his life lessons.

I wouldn't fess up to reading his phone but I would be talking to him about being a decent young man - ending it with GF is he's not sure he can be faithful (which is fine as he's 16), thinking about how his action can make others feel etc.

He needs to learn for himself that his actions will have consequences and he needs to learn that those consequences entail more than just pissing his mum off.
Leave well alone! His gf may find out and be heartbroken but that's what it takes sometimes for people to realise that their actions are wrong.