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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be a bit pissed off at the HV..

70 replies

INeedMoreCakeInMyLife · 07/08/2018 12:02

Got my baby weighed his morning. She was born on 50th centile. Now between 50/75 centile. She told me she was overweight.. I thought she was taking the piss at first. Then said she'd like to see her in a month for a review.. She's 5m. Since 2m she's gained 2lb a month. Then between 4-5m she's gained just 1.5lb.
She's 16lb now. She's not big at all.. Just chunky thighs really.. Mega annoyed.
I know they're just doing their job but it's still annoyed me.

OP posts:

ToadsforJustice · 07/08/2018 14:02

Seriously. When are we going to stop wasting time and resources on HV. Give the money to Social Services. Most HV are their gatekeepers anyway.

SugarIsAmazing · 07/08/2018 14:03

I realised very quickly with my first baby that HV talk rubbish, so didn't bother with the HV with my other five children.

Clockwork95 · 07/08/2018 14:04

This sounds like a total overreaction from the HV.

I know people are often harsh about HVs but the sad fact is many of them just aren't very good! Yes there are some sensible ones but they're in the minority IME.

EveMoneypenny · 07/08/2018 14:12

DS1 actually did follow his centile line perfectly from birth (the top one!) and I was still told off when he was 5 months old for him being too fat. Haven't bothered getting DS2 weighed officially. I weight myself holding him and then weigh myself and subtract for a rough idea every now and then.

Sweetpotatoaddict · 07/08/2018 14:12

My HV came for dd 1year check. Weighed her, didn’t bother plotting her on chart and said she looked very petite, then proceeded to grill me about her eating habits.
Her eyes nearly fell out of her head when I said I was breastfeeding and babyled weaning she then said that might be the problem. When she did plot her on the chart turned out she was following the 75th centile beautifully for both height and weight. At that point I couldn’t hold my tongue any longer when I asked her if she considered it in her job description to raise worry in a mother, and effectively encourage obesity
I have had some fantastically supportive hv in the past but like every profession there appears to be some of dubious competence.

Ghanagirl · 07/08/2018 14:17

I’m not sure why HV thought your baby was overweight OP but babies can gain weight too quickly, my SIL fed her little one everytime she cried and she’s now hugely overweight at age 15, she of course blames genetics.
When my DCs were weighed in reception the amount of mother’s with very obviously overweight children were up in arms but if the parents can’t see it and Health professional doesn’t point it out along with giving advice the children suffer not patents.
We’ve got used to seeing overweight children as the norm, the amount of people who’ve pointed out that my son is underweight (sometimes in front of him) but

he isn’t and I’m health professional and my dr also said he’s healthy.
I would never tell someone their child is overweight in front of them even if it’s true

Dreamingofkfc · 07/08/2018 14:38

Don't go to the weighings, they mean nothing...you can see baby is putting on weight and is fine. Least amouny of contact with HV the better I find!

colditz · 07/08/2018 14:45

Ghanagirl, I fed my ds1 every time he cried too. At 15 he's slap bang in the middle of the bmi centile chart for his age and height. Literally perfect weight.

DS2 often had to wait while I dealt with Ds1. He's rather heavy at 12.

Lauren83 · 07/08/2018 14:49

My 6 month old has been on the 97th centile for ages now and they haven't said anything, I'm waiting for it though

whatwouldkeithRichardsdo2 · 07/08/2018 15:41

My HV came once and we never saw her again. We lived in East Croydon. How long are HVs meant to be involved with the baby? I often see on here 'ask your HV'. I had nobody to ask.

I wouldn't want to be involved further. I don't think it's mandatory, is it?

Princess9891 · 07/08/2018 16:05

It's so stupid. They're meant to grow and put on weight! They soon start bitching if they aren't deemed to be heavy enough for their standards. All babies are different!

TittyFahLaEtcetera · 07/08/2018 16:52

DS is teeny tiny and when he was born although he was 7.5lbs he was in "tiny baby" clothes for "up to 4lbs". Everyone used to comment how "solid" he was. He was 50th centile for weight but only 9th for height and has stuck to that. The charts are based on BMI so don't take muscle mass into account. DS had z very good paediatrician who recognised when he was genuinely losing a bit of weight and told me to give him blue milk, real butter and plenty of carbs, which sorted him out. He's like all the men in my family - muscular and stocky.

The HV thought his weight should be lower on her chart. I told her if she could find any fat on him I'd gladly feed him less (he never stops!). Funnily enough, when he was still small I trained as an HV/School Nurse assistant practitioner and never needed to take him to be checked again, as I had the equipment and could do it myself - AND read the chart properly!

toomuchtooold · 07/08/2018 18:44

@whatwouldkeithRichardsdo2 I had my kids in East Croydon as well - at the time the weigh-ins were at the Tunstall nursery and Woodside children's centre but I don't know if they're still on, or what days. It was all being cut to the bone already 5 years ago, and we waited about 6 months for the 1 year checkup.

Confusedbeetle · 07/08/2018 18:57

From professional point of view, I have always railed against the weighing of babies. I prefer observation of healthy babies, growth and well being. Mothers are perfectly capable of weighing their own babies should they wish. The red books and weight charts are the work of the devil. I have fought many battles in this areas. The only time it is useful is if a baby is not catching on to breastfeeding very well and loses a bit too much weight. Even then there are physical signs and a few bottles of formula is all that is required and extra support with feeding. There is little merit in the "expert" commenting

tor8181 · 07/08/2018 20:11

this is why people should opt out of hv service(8 and nearly 14 y old and never had one)

16 pound at 5 months!!! blimey mine was 16 pound with in 4 weeks(8 .7 born but doubled his weight with in weeks as he was one 11oz from birth and with in the week on extra hungry formula )

by 5 months he was well in the high 20s but has always been very long and way bigger than norm since birth(8 last week and 111 pounds and 5 foot already)

stupid cow is suggesting you put the baby on a diet or cut down her food

do what you thinks best if a babys hungry a normal mother will bloody feed it not think oh no my hv said you must wait as your to fat already

bloody government control your child from birth
hvs from 0-5,school from 5-16(with weight in programs)
what people dont relise that everyone of these is optional

as you can see im very anti school and hvs(i home educate)

SharpLily · 07/08/2018 21:40

I would love to have respect for HVs but reading some of the things on here makes it very difficult, and then I remembered that a woman I got to know recently is a retired health visitor. She retired not long ago to move abroad or otherwise she'd still be working, and she's as thick as pigshit... I kid you not, the woman is sooooo stupid. I would not let her look after my dog but reading this I realise how much responsibility her job entailed, and she's quite simply not up to it. Frightening.

Lynne1Cat · 07/08/2018 21:47

I don't know what all that percentile stuff means, but babies grow at different rates, and so long as she's not fat, it's a load of bollocks.

My 2nd son weighed 10lb 13 at birth! I took no bloody notice of what HV and such told me about feeding him. He was an average weight when he started school and continued to be average. He's now 34! He's slim, fit, healthy.

If I were you, I certainly wouldn't even think of going to the baby clinic ever again...

CherryPavlova · 07/08/2018 21:57

The answer is not to let them weigh the baby. None of mine were weighed between immediately after their birth and when we concerned about one of them being ill when they were in year 4.

molifly · 07/08/2018 22:00

My baby is 3 months 17.5lb (98th centile) so I wouldn't worry. They all even out in the end.

Crunchymum · 07/08/2018 22:00

Unfortunately my 6mo has a rare genetic condition and "failure to thrive" is common in the early days (ironically weight gain is an issue with the condition later in life as her metabolism is compromised!) so we have been weighing in every week. It's fine when we see the dietitian or specialist who understand her condition but the HV's fuck me off (we have to go to clinic between dietitian and specialist appts). No matter how many times I explain the condition, I just get told how small she is, how I need to be careful and how I need to move to formula [I express and she is tube fed]

Centiles are fine as a guide but fuck me what happened to common sense?

My baby isn't your average baby so averages aren't going to work for her??

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